22nd entry - Change

There is a saying that the only constant in this world is nothing ever stays the same. Change is welcomed by people in circumstances that they perceive to be really bad i.e. "It just cannot get any worse." It is interesting to see how people adjust to changes around them, regardless of whether changes are anticipated or sudden. Some adjust quickly; some don't.

I think I adjust quite well to changes, but some are not so easy to adapt to. For example, it took me several months to get really used to living in a new apartment with my parents. A year after moving, I still take a while to recall which floor my apartment is located before pressing the lift button that indicates my floor number. I also had some difficulty remembering my new telephone number and postal address.

Making the transition from singlehood to being attached is even harder, possibly due to the fact that changes involving relationships are more complex to deal with. I realise that I was spending less time at home or with my parents, as I was spending a lot of time with my beloved, S. I have less time to spare on recreational activities that I used to engage in. But the greatest challenge for me is learning to be responsible to my loved one, and learning to trust.

Recently, S and I reached a fork in the road of our 5-month relationship. S initiated a breakup with me, and asked me to consider it in light of something that S had done. S did not expect me to forgive S for what happened, as it was mostly S's fault, and felt that it was better off for me to find someone else. In short, at the end of the episode, S and I acknowledged that we still loved each other and were therefore not prepared to go our separate ways because of the incident.

The future is a great unknown, but one thing is certain is that there is bound to be change. For S and I, change will come from a desire to learn from our mistakes and move on, so that we can become more responsible to each other and earn each others' trust. If we succeed, God willing, our love will deepen and our relationship will rise to the next level. This will take time, and hopefully by the time our next crisis or challenge comes, we are more ready and prepared for it.