4th entry - I Have Fallen in Love - Again

When I broke up with my ex, I was afraid to start a new relationship. I did not know whether my feelings had completely ended, and I thought I had no ability to love someone. My ex is a nice person and I regret causing us so much hurt by ending the relationship, but I knew it was inevitable because I did not see any viable future for us.

Naturally, I waited a long time before deciding that its time to move on with my life. By God's love and grace and mercy I was surrounded by warm and sincere friends - some old, some new, and some "renewed" - who were there for me. Soon I picked up courage to start dating again, but the spectre of my failed relationships kept haunting me. Then I met a special person, quite unexpectedly (because I was not actively looking for love but more for friendship), and suddenly I was swept away.

Like the well-known Carpenters' song goes, we have only just begun, and I do not know where we will end up. All I want is the best for both of us - whether we will end up being together for the rest of our lives or for only a short while. Even if its only a temporary happiness ... even if one or both of us might get hurt ... even if things change and we find that we are not suited for each other ... I will still think its worthwhile.

I decided that I will not be afraid to share my life with my darling. God has given His great and perfect love to us - similarly I believe that God wants me to give my best to this relationship. Just as He has given us the best - His only begotten Son Jesus Christ - so that we the sinners can be reconciled to Him. God's love to us is unconditional, and so I will try to give my love unconditionally. I will have no regrets. I will not look back.

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My darling, below is a poem I've written for you as a declaration of my love, and an expression of the dilemma I am in. Without realising it, I've fallen in love with you, but right now I'm not 100% confident that I can secure your heart and I don't know whether we will be able to accept each other. But thanks for giving us a chance! Lets work hard and we can face life together as one! And I will grow to love you more each day ... *kiss*

Oh no! I have fallen in love again

Staring into the starry night I stand,
Thinking what the future had in store.
Is this the beginning, or its the end?
I had experienced this feeling before.

The one I like is full of charm and wit.
So kind, affectionate and sensitive.
Thoughtful and considerate and sweet.
So gentle yet so firm you won't believe.

The words we spoke are etched into my mind
Such that they cant be erased from my brain.
My heart had flown to him and his to mine.
Oh no, I have fallen in love again!