Suffering
Day 6 of November in the Year 2008.
This date will be forever etched in my memory for years to come. It is the day I was diagnosed with the dreaded chicken pox and had to be away from the office for 3 weeks.
I didnt know who I contracted chicken pox from but it must be from a public place because none of family members had suffered from it recently. I didnt even confirm that I had the pox initially because the symptoms took a long time to show.
The first mysterious papule (the water-filled blister characteristic of chicken pox) appeared on my back about a week before my diagnosis, and then it vanished. I thought it was a boil or insect bite and thought nothing of it. A few days later a few more papules appeared on my forearm, underarm, face, chest, and shoulders. I was having fever by 5 Nov but I still went back to work. Even my colleagues couldnt confirm that what I got was chicken pox. But that night when I got home I was getting severe chills and feeling very uncomfortable.
The next day I went to see the doctor. I was told that my case was quite rare, perhaps a sub-clinical form, which means I had the pox before so symptoms are less obvious. I was quite ok after taking paracetemol 500mg and I even declined the anti-viral medication, thinking my case was probably not severe.
The next morning I nearly died of fright when I looked in the mirror. My entire face and scalp was swollen with large papules and my shoulders appeared inflamed with red rash. It was as though I had been severely burnt or stung by fire ants. The following day was worse - thousands of tiny papules have formed in the centres of all the red patches that showed up the day before. My face had pus oozing out from the papules and I looked like I was a wart-covered toad or monster from a horror film. As I was washing my face, I think to myself: is this really my face that I am touching?! My face and body was unrecognizable. I didnt dare to imagine what will happen after I recover... No amount of facial treatment will work.
I felt so depressed. I wasnt able to eat as well because the gargle the doctor gave me to treat my blister on my gum had numbed my tongue; I think the fever also affected my tasting ability. Even with the anti-histamine medication I took, the sores prevented me from sleeping well and I was exhausted. I couldnt sleep well in the day either because the sores were so painful when I lie down on any surface. My right eye was red because one papule had appeared on my lower eyelid and irritated it.
I am not sure whether the worst is over or yet to come, but on Sunday 9 Nov the papules had spread to my entire torso (although not as compact as those on my shoulder, neck and face), legs, even my palm and fingers. It was really awful. The fever came on and off, making it worse because I tried not to wear any clothing so as not to irritate the sores but I felt cold when the fever returned.
To prevent myself from thinking about the discomfort and pass time, I started watching 雪の女王 The Snow Queen, a heartwarming Japanese anime about a brave girl's journey to look for her closest childhood friend and the amazing adventures that she had along the way. In one of the episodes, the Snow Queen made this comment, which struck a chord in my heart by the way it related to my situation:
"Only those who bore the cruel Winter truly know the joy of Spring..."
From one perspective, my suffering made me realise that I had been taking my health for granted and neglected to give my body enough rest and proper nutrition. After my suffering I would appreciate and cherish my body and health more. It also applied to many things that we took for granted in life and the occasional suffering or setback that we had to endure would remind us of what we lost, so that when/if we regained them then we would appreciate them more than when we first had them.
Fortunately my parents and 2 maternal aunts who are close to me have been taking care of me during this time. My other half, S, and other close frens have also been concerned and caring. I was glad that S came over on 6 Nov instead of the next day when more papules appeared, as I think S would have died of fright as well. I am eternally grateful to them for their love and I will definitely cherish them more now. Besides my loved ones, I am also thankful to God for seeing me through this rough patch. Hopefully my ordeal will be over soon, and I can look back at this experience and say "I've conquered!" For we are more than conquerers in Christ Jesus! Amen!
This date will be forever etched in my memory for years to come. It is the day I was diagnosed with the dreaded chicken pox and had to be away from the office for 3 weeks.
I didnt know who I contracted chicken pox from but it must be from a public place because none of family members had suffered from it recently. I didnt even confirm that I had the pox initially because the symptoms took a long time to show.
The first mysterious papule (the water-filled blister characteristic of chicken pox) appeared on my back about a week before my diagnosis, and then it vanished. I thought it was a boil or insect bite and thought nothing of it. A few days later a few more papules appeared on my forearm, underarm, face, chest, and shoulders. I was having fever by 5 Nov but I still went back to work. Even my colleagues couldnt confirm that what I got was chicken pox. But that night when I got home I was getting severe chills and feeling very uncomfortable.
The next day I went to see the doctor. I was told that my case was quite rare, perhaps a sub-clinical form, which means I had the pox before so symptoms are less obvious. I was quite ok after taking paracetemol 500mg and I even declined the anti-viral medication, thinking my case was probably not severe.
The next morning I nearly died of fright when I looked in the mirror. My entire face and scalp was swollen with large papules and my shoulders appeared inflamed with red rash. It was as though I had been severely burnt or stung by fire ants. The following day was worse - thousands of tiny papules have formed in the centres of all the red patches that showed up the day before. My face had pus oozing out from the papules and I looked like I was a wart-covered toad or monster from a horror film. As I was washing my face, I think to myself: is this really my face that I am touching?! My face and body was unrecognizable. I didnt dare to imagine what will happen after I recover... No amount of facial treatment will work.
I felt so depressed. I wasnt able to eat as well because the gargle the doctor gave me to treat my blister on my gum had numbed my tongue; I think the fever also affected my tasting ability. Even with the anti-histamine medication I took, the sores prevented me from sleeping well and I was exhausted. I couldnt sleep well in the day either because the sores were so painful when I lie down on any surface. My right eye was red because one papule had appeared on my lower eyelid and irritated it.
I am not sure whether the worst is over or yet to come, but on Sunday 9 Nov the papules had spread to my entire torso (although not as compact as those on my shoulder, neck and face), legs, even my palm and fingers. It was really awful. The fever came on and off, making it worse because I tried not to wear any clothing so as not to irritate the sores but I felt cold when the fever returned.
To prevent myself from thinking about the discomfort and pass time, I started watching 雪の女王 The Snow Queen, a heartwarming Japanese anime about a brave girl's journey to look for her closest childhood friend and the amazing adventures that she had along the way. In one of the episodes, the Snow Queen made this comment, which struck a chord in my heart by the way it related to my situation:
"Only those who bore the cruel Winter truly know the joy of Spring..."
From one perspective, my suffering made me realise that I had been taking my health for granted and neglected to give my body enough rest and proper nutrition. After my suffering I would appreciate and cherish my body and health more. It also applied to many things that we took for granted in life and the occasional suffering or setback that we had to endure would remind us of what we lost, so that when/if we regained them then we would appreciate them more than when we first had them.
Fortunately my parents and 2 maternal aunts who are close to me have been taking care of me during this time. My other half, S, and other close frens have also been concerned and caring. I was glad that S came over on 6 Nov instead of the next day when more papules appeared, as I think S would have died of fright as well. I am eternally grateful to them for their love and I will definitely cherish them more now. Besides my loved ones, I am also thankful to God for seeing me through this rough patch. Hopefully my ordeal will be over soon, and I can look back at this experience and say "I've conquered!" For we are more than conquerers in Christ Jesus! Amen!
posted by sunshine wallflower at 11:44 AM
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