2nd entry - 3rd Year Anniversary

S and I have been together for 3 years. Even today I feel that it is unbelievable and unthinkable that we have been a couple for so long! I often ponder at what makes our relationship work.

We are:
1) "Down-to-earth": we are pragmatic in our aspirations and daily decision making; we believe in harvesting the fruits of hard labor (though we occasionally admire people who are successful by being lucky); we like stability and structure; and we like to think of ourselves as honest most of the time

2) "Food loving": to the extent that we are critical of what we eat, and unlike people who just eat for sustenance we really appreciate good food, but we are also conscious of our meal budgets and menu prices. We do not consider ourselves as gourmet hunters who go to great lengths to enjoy the best food - instead, we are always on the look out for bargains e.g. one-for-one promotions and buffets. S is more picky and does not eat certain meats and seafood, and has a soft spot for sambal chili.

3) "Homely": on most weekends that we spend together, we are usually at home. We take turns to go online while watching TV/DVDs. S is into Facebook games like Mousehunt, but I prefer yahoo free-to-download games. We occasionally watch movies and go shopping when the need arises or we have vouchers or we happen to be in JB (where its cheaper).

4) "Metrosexual": we explore a variety of beauty products and visit a number of different beauty parlors for facial treatments. We are conscious of the ingredients used in the products and are willing to spend substantial amounts of our salary on maintaining the health of our skin and body. We often visit roadshows held by Natures' Farm and GNC to grab bargains for vitamins and supplements, and consume health products on a regular basis. The only thing we lack is regular exercise, due to our laziness and priorities.

Like a plant growing in a pot in a greenhouse, I have been blessed with a sheltered life in a supportive and close-knit family environment. The local education system prepared me well for a career in civil service after graduating from university. My life experiences are very much narrower than people who struggle to cope with broken families or who cling to the fringe of society. S on the other hand has lived away from home for most of his life, and encountered all sorts of obstacles, making him stronger, more resilient and independent.

S's philosophy in life is to better himself but not to the extent of harming others (at least not in a bad way). S cherishes the things he owns because they do not come easy, and guards them carefully. S does not waste time or resources on frivolous things (unless its for relaxation or enjoyment), and wants to make the best of everything he has. To some, S might appear to be more calculative or exacting. I am in contrast more wasteful and extravagant and tend to take things for granted. Over time I learned to be more like S in appreciating what I have and making the best of things.

Our perspective on relationships is perhaps the most fundamental difference between S and I. From young I was instilled with traditional family values by my parents, who chose to take simple and parochial perspectives in life. As I am by nature very cautious and risk adverse, I tend to surround myself with like-minded individuals who reinforce my value system, and even adopted a religious faith that I thought was aligned with my own perspective. I thus found it difficult to understand and accept other forms that relationships can take. S, on the other hand, has many friends who lead complicated personal lives and are involved in highly complex relationships. Gradually I grew to accept such "deviations".

Perhaps it is accurate to say that I am evolving, and the differences between S and I will be diminished or mutually accepted over time. Honestly, I never realized how alike S and I have become ever since we became a couple, until I wrote this blog entry. Most of the time we tend to scrutinize microscopically the insignificant differences between us and lose sight of the commonalities: perhaps this is the biggest reason why couples these days fight and break up (in fact S and I nearly broke up once because of this).

Recently, S and I were discussing about our work and bosses. S said: if you change your mindset from "its normal to have a good boss" to "its normal to have a bad boss", you will see that those who have had good bosses were extremely fortunate and hard to come by, but its also not so bad that you are having a bad boss now. Extending this perspective to relationships, I think I would adopt the mindset that "its normal to have a less than perfect relationship/partner". hah.