My first and last Blog

5th entry: A gift from my beloved

2011-08-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

On Singapore's 46th anniversary of its independence, my beloved gave me a Samsung Galaxy S2 for a present. Its not the first time he has given me an expensive birthday cum Christmas present - he bought a Panasonic Lumix digital camera with several functions that usually only a DSLR will have, and since then we have taken countless beautiful photos with it. My beloved wanted to give me an i-Phone 4, which I was reluctant to accept initially, but when we were at the phone shop today we were drawn by the National Day telco promotion and I succumbed to the smart-phone craze that has taken the world by storm of late. Soon I will have "joined the club"! What is more important to me than being a new and proud owner of a good phone, is that this is a gift from my sweetheart, and everytime I use the phone (as well as the camera), I make new and beautiful memories of our life together as One couple in the process. Of course, in time, the gadgets will eventually be replaced as they undergo wear and tear, but my love of, and my special relationship with, my beloved sweetheart will only grow deeper and mature.

*Darling, I love you... kiss kiss hugs hugs*

4th entry - Another In-camp Training

2011-08-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

Its my 6th in-camp training. My first was in 2005, then 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2010. Everytime I attend the training I learn something new about this camp and get to know interesting people.

In 2005, I got to know Richard, Bernard and Chun Yong. Richard is a father of 2 beautiful daughters and we were in the same cohort of NSmen for 4 sessions. He has since joined Chun Yong and Bernard in the Military Reserve, and he wrote in to volunteer extending his service with the SAF (he must be one of the rare few to do so) but he was unsuccessful. Chun Yong is a successful and aggressive broker, a father of 2 boys; we were only in the same cohort in 2005. Bernard is an easy-going foodie who got along really well with Chun Yong, Richard and myself; both of us are the only ones who are still single and also of the same age. He joined the military reserve earlier than Richard (2008 was his last in-camp).

I also met Ken, who was an ardent adventurer and trekker. He just returned from Spain, and has quit his comfortable job at DSO to pursue a career that he was more interested in. I wished I had his courage and his resolve...

In 2009, I met Yen Seng, a lifeguard. He was serving his active NS. The following year he was called back for ICT, and he is still a lifeguard. Although he was studying he deferred his studies to set up a pre-school with his fiancee in Jakarta. His motivation inspires me and I hope he succeeds! :)

This year, I got to know a training professor who enjoys research into politics in the region.

What I enjoy most about my NSmen experience is the opportunity to meet different people and widen my social circle. Sadly, it is difficult keeping in touch with all of them beyond the 2 weeks training.

3rd entry Googoo Gaga

2011-07-09T14:14:00.001+08:00

Lady Gaga's songs have taken the world by storm in the last couple of years. The music videos for Bad Romance and Poker Face were one of the most widely-viewed MTVs on youtube, and not surprisingly many funny versions of these popular songs have been spoofed as well. Somehow it seems funnier to hear humorous lyrics using Lady Gaga's songs than using the melodies of less popular songs...

Recently a National Day Parade (NDP) song was written using Lady Gaga's Bad Romance tune. Some commented that the lyrics on the fun pack were "retarded" because it sounded really silly, and many were embarrassed when they heard it because it was used for an event associated with National Pride. I am amazed how people could be singing it with such gusto.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQXDqjYnN5I&feature=related

Postscript:
The NDP organisers have decided to take the ditty off. Perhaps this was to spare the NPD participants the agony of singing the retarded song...

2nd entry - Changing

2011-05-30T00:46:00.001+08:00

2011 was not only a year of change for the political scene in Singapore, but it was also a year of change for me personally.

In the General Elections of 7 May 2011, I performed my duties as an elections official for the first time, and in spite of my inexperience, I thought I did reasonably well, given the feedback from the colleagues who worked with me. Further, during that period, my mother was going through surgery to remove her gallstones. Although she only had keyhole surgery and a scope procedure, I was worried for her given that she was diagnosed with diabetes a few months ago. Thank God, all went well.

The same could not be said for the ruling party, who lost a GRC to the opposition for the first time in Singapore's history. A bold move by the maverick Worker's Party to fight for the Aljunied GRC sealed its victory, and resulted in the loss of a few key people in the ruling party, including Foreign Minister George Yeo. MM Lee Kwan Yew, SM Goh Chok Tong, DPM Wong Kan Seng, National Development Minister Mah Boh Tan and Transport Minister Raymond Lim stepped down, giving way to other up-and-coming party members. The upheavals in GE 2011 set the stage for a new era of Singapore politics.

The proliferation of the I-phone and popularity of New Media played a significant role in the outcome of GE 2011, but they were merely the means through which a new and influential generation had voiced its unhappiness with the status quo and expressed its enthusiasm in what alternative voices in parliament had to offer. Whether such alternative voices could deliver what they promised remained a question that would be answered by the time we hold the next GE. I was sure everyone's eyes would be also on the ruling party, which promised improvements would be made after much "soul-searching". The big cabinet reshuffle was a first step in this direction, and hopefully it would be a prudent one for the nation.

As for me, my hope was that changes would be for the better. But what sparked me to write this entry wasn't the political upheaval in Singapore.

Recently, perhaps arising from its hope for winning more votes, my mayor ordered the town council to repaint my housing estate. It had been more than 7 years since I moved to Punggol, and they had only started major washing, repairs and repainting at my estate a few weeks before GE 2011. Coincidence? Whatever the underlying intention was, I was hardly impressed with the way things progressed. Had I not chosen to visit my mum in hospital and foregone my right to cast my vote, I might have voted defiantly against the ruling party. Not only did the contractors fail to wash the walls systematically or thoroughly, but also and more importantly, as a result of their painting work, I was compelled to part with my beloved cacti.

I started growing cacti since I was 14 years old. I took 3 small offshoots of a cactus plant that was growing in my maternal grandmother's garden (nobody knew how or when she started growing them, and she could not remember either). It was the only species that survived under my hands after all these years - of course, many generations of the parent plant had lived and died, and the original 3 that I adopted were no longer alive. I tried growing other varieties of cacti but most of them didnt make it. If they all survived, I would have had a huge cacti garden and at least 30 large pots of cacti. I guess I was lucky that 7 large pots made it, until today.

The painting contractor came by last week and told my dad that my cacti had to be removed from the walls (where I had hung the cacti pots) so that they could do their job. Fair enough, but where was I to relocate them? My neighbour found them unwelcome and put their stuff in strategic parts of the common corridor so that I could not place my cacti pots near them, and there was no available space at the common corridor to put them. My mother would never let me keep my cacti in the house. With great reluctance, I decided to place them at the rooftop garden on the 6th floor of the multi-storeyed carpark adjacent to my apartment block. Even though they would be exposed to the weather and nuisance of children and pets, at least they had a space to grow and enjoy the sun.

I felt really sorry for my cacti. No one else in the world were ever fond of them, except for me. They were like freaks in the plant world, with an intimidating appearance and a prickly personality that people were repulsed by. My neighbour's wilful child learnt to leave it alone after he playfully grabbed one cacti stem with his bare hand, and his painful ordeal nearly drove a wedge in the cordial relations between his family and mine. Of course, nobody blamed an "innocent" child of wrongdoing, and everyone blamed it on the menacing thorns even though it was no fault of the poor cactus. I suspected that my neighbour even attempted to kill my cacti slowly to avenge their child by overwatering them (she claimed that she was helping me to keep an eye on it since I seemed to be too busy to care for it).

The eviction of my cacti must have been a victory for my neighbour and my mother who always found them a nuisance - not because she was prejudiced against them but because she was driven only by materialism and pragmatism. My mother, who loved money and her possessions more than anything in the world (except herself), had told me on many occasions that my spending on fertiliser and soil and pots etc were extravagant and needless, and if I had given her the money instead she would have 101 better uses for it. But I was largely to blame for not being vigilant in protecting my cacti from the evil plots of my neighbour and my mother. Frankly I had neither the time nor the motivation to devote more resources into caring for them as I should; I was spending absolutely minimum time watering them and I scarcely gave them more than a glance everyday when I leave from or returned to my apartment. Rightly, I think I am not fit to be their owner.

My dad was worried that my poor cacti would get stolen from the 6th floor garden. That was not my worst fear - in fact I would be delighted if some kind soul would adopt them and care for them as I should and would have liked to. My greatest fear was that spolit brats like my neighbour's child would kick my cacti pots or kill the poor defenseless plants in vicious attacks. Irresponsible pet owners might also let their pets harrass the cacti with their urine or faeces, which would burn the cacti roots and injure them. But what right did I have to voice such concerns, without appearing as a hypocrite? After all, I was THE one who exposed them to the risks without making sure that they were adequately protected. If they died, their "blood" would be on MY hands.

I still remember how their ancestors looked like. They were 3 stoic-looking, stout cacti, hardly more than 3 inches tall. I had lovingly planted their prickly bodies into soft soil taken from the pot that nursed them. I imagined how happy they were, sitting in an acrylic pot placed at the kitchen window grille in my apartment in Bedok; basking in the sun, and growing well as they were sheltered from the wind and rain. They multiplied, and eventually became so large and so many that I had to repot them. One pot became three, and soon became six and more. Those I gave away to friends and relatives somehow didnt do well - perhaps they needed to stick together. I had wept when I heard that the first of the original three died, and its siblings soon followed suit. It was some consolation to me to know that many generations of their offspring had survived in spite of the odds, and in spite of me...

Ironically, the only living offspring of the original three probably never saw it coming that one day they would die at the reluctant hands of their irresponsible owner. They might even have been looking forward to me providing them with a better home and praying for better living conditions so that their offspring could thrive - a larger pot perhaps, or fresh soil from the nursery. Sadly, today they succumbed to their cruel fate helplessly as I brought them to the 6th floor garden. No doubt they must have hated me, for they speared my fingers with the only weapon they have, in silent protest; or maybe its their way of telling me their disappointment and heartache at my betrayal of them. Like Lady Macbeth I washed my hands compulsively afterwards, in a futile attempt to absolve myself from my heinous crime.

In life its inevitable that our priorities change; right now, honestly, I am more anxious about how my beloved is coping with the setbacks being encountered on the Taman Negara trip, and about a big project presentation at work next week. Tomorrow when I wake up I might even forget how disgusted I was at myself for letting my cacti go to their doom. I hope my cacti will forgive their useless owner, and remember the fond memories of their good ole days when I tended them like infants and fussed over the cute little babies that sprouted energetically from their parents' stems.

O Mighty God full of Grace, please have mercy on my cacti and protect the little angels from harm.

Cute Dog

2011-03-19T15:52:00.000+08:00

Er... Hey... What the... Hmm...

Cute Cat Enjoying Music

2011-03-19T15:46:00.000+08:00

1st entry - Fragile Relationships

2011-02-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

For some people, its not easy to find someone to fall in love with, especially if you hope that person also feels the same way about you - kind of. Like procurement, first you need to decide what you want (coming up with the basic "specifications") and ascertain your own readiness for commitment, then you need to find someone who more or less matches your requirements. Once you have zeroed in on your target (or targets), you can start your courtship - a mutual fact-finding process that is usually an enjoyable experience for most people - in fact this is the fun part. Ultimately, your objective is to know whether the person your had identified is "relationship material" i.e. someone you want to be committed towards.

The more fortunate ones (like me) eventually succeed in finding someone to love and are more or less certain that their feelings towards their beloved are genuinely reciprocated (or at least believes that the significant other also has similar honorable intentions). Begin "Phase 2" i.e. developing a relationship. If Phase 1 was difficult, the next Phase will be even more challenging.

When you are madly in love, you think that nothing else matters. Suddenly you are filled with irrational optimism that everything will work out, including the impossible. "Love conquers all". But as the dust settles and reality kicks in, you will quickly realise that you need more than love to build a sustainable relationship and maintain it. Any cause for mistrust or any unresolved dispute will undermine the fragile foundations that your relationship was established on. Differences, even the most minute, will become more painfully obvious and pronounced, whereas previously all you could see were similarities. Adjustments in your life that you once considered to be minor sacrifices may seem to be onerous and demanding. You may even begin to doubt yourself and your partner, and the word "regret" surfaces repeatedly in your mind. If you entertain even the slighest notion of giving up on the relationship, you will start on the slippery slope that will end inevitably with a breakup. Sounds familiar?

A relationship that is so difficult to grow and so valuable needs to be nurtured and guarded constantly. We need to stay vigilant of all threats, which can be both internal and external. External threats may emanate from well-intended advice from your loved ones. Internal threats may stem from insidious fleeting thoughts that you brush aside repeatedly instead of addressing them rationally. One must be discerning of what one hears from others (and not just who said it or how it is said), and be mindful not only of what is spoken to one's partner, but also what is not.

What do the tensions in Egypt and the Middle East, MM Lee's recent message about integrating Muslims with the rest of society in Singapore, and the British PM's critique against the policy of multiculturalism in the UK, have in common with romance and relationships? I think these suggest that a lack of trust, coupled with unresolved differences, can destroy a society the way they destroy relationships. People often forget how difficult it was to build relationships and fail to realise how easy it is to tear them apart. What takes years of hard work to establish can be washed away in a single disaster.

I think my new year resolution should be not to take my relationship for granted.

14th entry - 2010 - Year of Natural Disasters

2011-01-05T14:07:00.000+08:00

According to a website, 2010 was a record-breaking year for natural disasters, and many of which are climate-change related weather events. Five of the natural disasters recorded in 2010 were considered to be “great natural catastrophes” based on the United Nations definition: the earthquakes in Haiti (January 12th), the earthquakes in Chile (February 27th) and the earthquakes in central China (April 13th), the heat-wave in Russia (July to September) and the floods in Pakistan (also July to September).

An article on Asia One news website lists these disasters and reports on their impact on human lives around the world:

While the 7.0 magnitude earthquake in Haiti was the biggest killer, taking about 220,000 lives and burying most of the country's capital, Port-au-Prince, strong quakes also struck Chile, China and Indonesia, causing panic and loss of life. More lives were lost due to poor housing and infrastructure, densely crowded and vulnerable urban areas, government inefficiency and lack of emergency services and sanitation.

Just weeks after the Haiti earthquake, a much stronger one - 8.8 magnitude in scale - hit a large part of Chile. Fortunately, better building standards and lower concentrations of people kept the death to about 700. In New Zealand in September, a 7.1 magnitude earthquake struck the South Island, including the second largest city of Christchurch, but there were no casualties. This was largely due to the country's advanced emergency services and strict city planning and building codes.

Intense flooding killed about 6,300 people in 59 countries up until September, according to the World Heath Organisation. The most severe, in Pakistan, lasted for months and covered about a fifth of the nation's land area under water. About 2,000 people were killed and 12 million others lost houses, property and livestock.

Viet Nam was also inundated. In October and November, the central region, from Nghe An to Khanh Hoa province, was ravaged by five separate floods. They were the worst for many years.

Almost 200 people were killed, 197 injured and another 35 were reported missing. Economic losses were estimated at VND13.5 trillion ($694 million) as crops were devastated and irrigation systems destroyed.

In April, massive eruptions from Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano took no lives, but filled northern European skies with grey ash for weeks.

Air traffic was disrupted for weeks and the flights of about 7 million people affected. In November, the violent eruption of Indonesia's Mount Merapi killed 353 people and forced more than 350,000 people to flee their homes.

Then there was the record heat wave in Russia in July which led to devastating wildfires in August. An extremely cold start to winter brought blizzards across the US and Europe.

Singapore was spared natural disasters in 2010, but our nation also suffered the loss of three notable persons who have contributed significantly to Singapore: beginning with Dr Goh Keng Swee on 14 May 2010, followed by former Senior Minister of State for Foreign Affairs Dr Balaji Sadasivan on 27 Sep 2010, and finally, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew (Mdm Kwa Geok Choo) on 2 Oct 2010.

Hopefully 2011 will be a better year for everyone...

13th entry - Wind and Water

2010-09-21T14:12:00.000+08:00

I was fascinated by the profound study of geomancy - known by Chinese as wind and water ("fengshui") - since I was a child. It all started with a book that my aunt gave me when I was about 10 years old.

I got all sorts of books from her back then, as she was working in a local printing company and books that were discarded due to minor printing errors ended up as gifts of knowledge that she bestowed on me whenever I visited her. Books in English on geomancy were rare in those days, so I considered myself lucky to own one, without even having to pay for it.

In my youth, I had no idea about the significance of geomancy. The concept of living in harmony with your surroundings, harnassing the energy of nature (the flow of qi) for your benefit, was rather interesting but difficult to grasp. I was skeptical about how knowing when and where to position the furniture in your house etc would relate to improving your luck, your relationships with other people, your career and your health. To me, geomancy was unscientific, shrouded in superstition and totally old-fashioned. At one stage, I even believed that geomancy (as with all forms of astrology, occult practices and fortune telling) flew in the face of my Christian faith.
When I was studying in the University, I had the opportunity to work as a research assistant for a professor in information systems management. One of the projects that she assigned me was to transcribe an interview (conducted in Mandarin) with the founder of Way Geomancy Pte Ltd, which will be used for writing a case study for her postgraduate business management programme. I was impressed with how this company utilised modern information technology in a traditional business, to provide unique solutions to its clients e.g. using AutoCAD to draw floor plans of clients' homes and superimposing geomancy charts with annotations on them, which makes it easier to visualise where key positions (e.g. for wealth and health) in the house were. I also had the opportunity to understand more about the basis and logic of geomancy. This encounter made me realise that geomancy may still be relevant in modern society, and it has many useful applications in our lives.

In 2003, not long after I acquired the keys to the apartment that I am presently staying, and before I engaged an interior designer and started renovations, my family and I decided approached Way Geomancy to conduct a geomancy consultation for the apartment. It was not cheap - about $3,000 - but I thought it was money worth spending on because it would give my family and I a "peace of mind" when we moved into the new apartment. Although I am not sure whether the consultation paid off, I did not regret getting another perspective on the way the interior of my apartment was designed. At least, the consultation helped me to eliminate the options that were deemed unsuitable for me and my family, and I must admit that I am quite satisfied with the decor of my apartment in that it made my family and I feel quite comfortable in our home.

Recently, the topic of geomancy became of interest to me again. Not only is my bf, H, somewhat into geomancy, but a good friend of mine, KW, was also studying it in his free time. KW gave me an amateur "life analysis" which was consistent with that provided by Way Geomancy some time ago. However, I am still considering whether I should be making some drastic changes to improve my "fortune", such as changing my Chinese name. "What's in a name, for a rose by any other name smells as sweet". Yet according to KW, the number of strokes of the ideograms that make up our Chinese names have a bearing on the fortune of our entire life!

12th entry - Gambler's Paradise Macau

2010-09-11T11:59:00.002+08:00

This is a sad tale of an incorrigible gambler. No, I'm not talking about me or the other gambling addicts out there. I'm referring to my *sob* sweetheart ... *sob*

Ok, I'm exaggerating a little. After all, its not as though we lost $26million like that local businessman who gambled his fortune away at Resorts World Sentosa. H is only a small time gambler in comparison. But the mechanics is the same - first, they entice you with an illusion that you are on a money-making lucky streak when you step into their casinos, by giving you a beginner's luck win. Once you are hooked, they begin the macabre fleecing of your fortune, slowly but surely gnawing away your dignity, until every last shred of humanity is sucked dry. Gamblers walk around the casinos like zombies, staring lifelessly into the slot machines, their bodies mere empty shells controlled by Greed and Blind optimism that their luck will change for the better... Its like watching a helpless fly in the web of a hungry spider, oblivious to the eminent danger that it was facing.

That was how I felt when I was exploring the casinos in Macau as H was playing blackjack. H was winning initially, but then started losing until his capital was gone.

Macau is a city of Sin. Everything was built on the Blood and Sweat of hard-earned fortunes lost to the casinos. But the casinos were only elaborate instruments providing illusory pleasure to its patrons. The real monster is Human Greed in every gambler believing that they will get lucky whenever they visit the casinos. And the real pleasure is enjoyed only by the casino owners who laugh all the way to the banks when they see their profits climbing in spite of financial crises etc.

There is a silver lining. Like a venus fly trap, Macau offers sweet nectar of beautifully and lavishly decorated hotels such as the famous Venetian, City of Dreams, Grand Lisboa and MGM Grand; unique Macanese (Portuguese-Chinese) culture in the form of preserved historical buildings (such as the Ruins of St Paul) and cuisine (e.g. Portuguese egg tarts and sweet Macanese curries); and close proximity to Hong Kong and Zhuhai (China), which has a huge shopping centre containing a vast selection of cheap imitation goods, services (hairdressing, massage and spa) and various F&B outlets. The wise tourist knows how to enjoy these aspects of Macau without getting entrapped in its snares - the gambling dens.

It was my first visit to Macau, and it may be my last. H and I stayed in a relatively comfortable hotel, the Casa Real, which is located near the ferry terminal. From the ferry terminal, one could easily visit the casinos and many tourist attractions because of the free shuttle services offered by the major hotel groups. Macau is not a family-friendly vacation spot, however. The free casino buses did not allow passengers below 18 years of age to board because they were not permitted into casinos, and the only large-scale amusement park at the Fisherman's Wharf was closed. A decent meal in a hotel would generally be expensive and meals in street-side eateries were not very tasty (not to mention that service was appalling), unless you ventured into Zhuhai, where some hotels such as Charming Hotel served delicious HK dim sum at affordable prices.

First time visitors like me would enjoy the city view from the world's 10th tallest tower, the Macau Tower, and a stroll down Senado Square (not far from the Ruins of St Paul) where there are many eateries and shops. At night, the city comes alive with bright neon lights and occasional fireworks displays. In this aspect, Macau is quite similar to Las Vegas, except that the latter does not bother with any pretenses of a cultural heritage. There are also other attractions such as the Grand Prix and Wine Museum, and Ah Ma Temple. These attractions are described in detail in Tommy Ooi's website.

11th entry - Bintan Surprise

2010-09-11T10:31:00.000+08:00

My sweetheart gave me a wonderful surprise for my birthday! We planned to go Bintan for a short 2D1N stay in Nirwana Resort Hotel - it was supposed to be just the two of us... at least, so I thought.

Little did I know that he quietly "colluded" with my best friend, K, to strategise a surprise. K was also intending to give her partner, F, a surprise as a birthday celebration for F. It was only when F and I "met" at the Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal that we realised that something was amiss. F, who initially didnt see me, thought that H was there to send them off before going to work. I, on the other hand, had just bought some food at the cafeteria when I saw K and F at our table, smiling away. For a few seconds, I was in such disbelief that I froze where I was standing.

Eventually, it dawned on F and I that we didnt just meet coincidentally at the Terminal, but it was all part of an elaborate "scheme" hatched by H and K during K's birthday (which was another surprise that F planned with H and I). They figured out that it was difficult to orchestrate a weekend getaway as a surprise so they decided to keep as a secret the fact that we were going together as 2 couples. I really got to hand it to them, as F and I didnt suspect anything.

Our trip was fantastic! We enjoyed each others' company and discovered the many delightful things that the resort had to offer. Surrounded by lush greenery and beautiful landscaping, the resort was nestled deep within a large compound called Nirwana Gardens. From the huge swimming pool, we could see and directly access the white sandy beach of the private lagoon and dip into the clear, cool and shallow waters that extended far out to sea. Coral fishes and all sorts of jellyfish and crustaceans inhabited the beach and much to our delight, we could swim amongst them.

In the evening, after a day exploring the beach and sampling the local fare (e.g. gado gado and avocado milkshake with palm syrup) for lunch at the supposedly local market ("Pasar Oleh Oleh"), we had a bowling game at the recreational centre of the hotel before boarding the free shuttle bus to the Kelong Restaurant for a hearty seafood dinner. Their chili crabs and gong gong (boiled dog conch with dipping sauce) were so delicious that we finished all of them even though we were not really hungry!

Besides being a surprise because I didnt know F and K were joining us on the trip, this Bintan getaway held 2 other surprises: firstly, I never expected the Nirwana Resort Hotel to have such a beautiful tranquil and unspoilt beach; secondly, this being our first overseas trip with F and K, I was amazed that we didnt experience any of the usual problems that friends sometimes get when travelling together. After this, H and I were more confident of successfully organising trips elsewhere together with F and K in future.

10th entry - Singapore Youth Olympic Games

2010-08-15T21:07:00.000+08:00

After many months of preparation, the Singapore Youth Olympic Games (SYOG) has finally begun. SYOG is the 1st major sporting event to be hosted in Singapore between 14 and 26 Aug 2010, with the annual Formula 1 night race following suit one month later. Singapore is especially proud to host the SYOG because it is THE inaugural Youth Olympics, i.e. first of its kind in the world. Sadly, I think there are many areas that can and should be improved and I hope we all can learn much from the experience.

The opening ceremony could be critically described as a somewhat embarrassing ensemble of "al-cheapo" performances. Some of the lack-lustre dances with cheap-looking costumes were quite unbearable to watch e.g. the one with the "cha shao bao" or BBQ pork bun theme song. One could hardly detect any energy in the dancers and poor coordination between the foreground and background made each performance visually distracting. There were some "stunning" crowd-pleasers such as the unique "water stage" and the lighthouse lit by the olympic flame), and some of the music pieces were good. If the dance concept and choreography had capitalised more fully on the uniqueness of this "hardware", the effect of the performance would have been much better.

Some parts of the ceremony were quite humourous, but in the wrong way. During the segment when atheletes paraded on stage with their state flags, there many occasions where the flag-bearers walked in opposite direction to the volunteers holding up cards that spelt the names of the countries, instead of following behind the volunteers. Some of these "blur" atheletes were then seen running across the stage after they discover their blunder; one of the volunteers was even captured on TV sprinting across the stage to fetch the oblivious athelete to the rightful position. Another comic moment for me was when airport luggage trolleys were used to push musicians to the stage. Some of the costumes look quite ridiculous as well e.g. some dancers bearing glow-in-the-dark "lotus flowers" adorned fluorescent green clothing that made them look like radioactive frogs or aliens.

I wonder if the performers are really to blame, given that volunteers were not treated well. A volunteer took a picture of the meal he was served and posted it on his Facebook page, igniting a furore (see news article). Extracted from the article:

The meal, served in a plastic box, comprised a mound of rice, a meat fillet and six pieces of long bean.

Singapore Food Industries (SFI), a subsidiary of the Singapore Airport Terminal Services (Sats), provided the food. It had been awarded a $5.5 million catering services contract by the YOG organising committee.

When contacted, a Sats spokesman confirmed that the meal in the picture was part of a meal provided to the YOG workforce. A bottled drink and some fruit were also provided, she added.

'We have received feedback from the workforce regarding the meals served. We take their feedback very seriously and have promptly taken action to improve and ensure that the portions and variety served will provide the workforce with a balanced meal.'

In its response to the criticism, the YOG's organising committee said: 'Our workforce is key to the successful organisation of the Games and their health and physical well-being is important to us.'

Added a spokesman: 'We are aware of the feedback (on the meal) and have taken immediate action. We will work with the caterers to continually improve the meal standards.'

Many online forums that discussed this issue were apparently shut down subsequently, but many people were unhappy over how our volunteers were treated. A cursory glance through some of the forums on YOG indicate that there are many disgruntled voices over other related issues such as the astronomical amount of public funds set aside for YOG, earlier reports of volunteers becoming victims of sexual harassment by YOG overseas delegates, and the shabbiness of the Olympic facilities (including the NTU hostel that was converted into a village to house the atheletes, and some of sporting event venues that appeared run down and old).

Organising such a large-scale event is indeed a feat of epic proportions for Singapore, considering the amount of resources (not just time and money, but also manpower support) that had to be pumped in. I think it is all too easy to criticise the organisers and government for all the blunders and problems, as many fail to realise that it is actually the first time that Singapore is hosting such an event and slip-ups are bound to happen. On the other hand, members of the organising committee really do need to reflect on their mistakes, especially when the issue is about failing to have the right spirit and attitude.

Are we being too unforgiving and intolerant of others' mistakes? In a way, this could be a reflection of what the world has become. Even the Olympic Games is a harsh arena where the slightest slip can have devastating consequences and cost the country and its athelete a hard-earned medal. But is it a bad thing to be critical and demanding? How else can we make improvements, right? I think its ok to be critical and demanding of others, if we apply the same standards when reflecting on our own mistakes. Otherwise we will be practising double standards. I remember this saying: when we point one of our fingers at others, at least 3 of our other fingers are pointing at ourselves.

Check out the photos of the YOG Opening Ceremony.

9th entry - Meaningful Words

2010-08-02T00:52:00.000+08:00

Today (1 Aug 2010), my sweetheart expressed a desire to be together with me until we are both old and grey. It may be cliche and old-fashioned, perhaps even a little too optimistic since relationships are increasingly fragile and temporal these days. However, it meant so much to me to hear it from my sweetheart because I know he meant it from the bottom of his heart. He also echoed what I had wanted to say to him but didnt have the courage to articulate, for good reason too. In all my past relationships I had thought that the person I was in love with then will be the ONE I will spend the rest of my life with. So what makes H different from the other guys?

I guess its really the way we connect. I feel totally comfortable whenever we are together, and I enjoy doing everything with him. I look forward to seeing him every weekend - in fact, everyday! He makes me laugh, comforts me whenever I feel sad or down, and is a source of encouragement. An SMS from him will brighten up my day, and hearing his voice makes me so happy. He is also unbearably cute, and unlike the hunks out there that occasionally catch my eye, I never grow tired of looking at him.

In one months' time we would have been together for a year! It sure doesnt feel like one year! The past 12 months have been the happiest time of my life, all because H have been part of it. I hope our relationship will keep on going strong and stand up to the test of time.

Darling, I look forward to growing older with you, to eventually have a chance to wash your dentures at night when your teeth fall out, and to help you take your daily medication ... To remember when each winkle on your forehead was formed and to count the number of aging spots on your body... kiss

8th entry - Carpenters, without the "the"

2010-07-28T02:01:00.000+08:00

The Carpenters are one of my all-time favourite music groups, but till today I dont really know much about them, except that the highly successful brother and sister team made so many evergreen hit songs in the 1970s that still sound so beautiful today. Some of my favourite songs and why I love them are below...

Superstar

...Somehow I think the lyrics of this song are rather special. Its like pining for someone far away...

Rainy Days and Mondays

...Q: "Why do I think of you when I feel sad, and want to talk to someone?"
A: Because I love you, and I need you...

We've only just begun...

...This must be the best wedding song ever...

Close to you

... Expresses my desire to be close to my sweetheart...

Only yesterday

... Especially meaningful for me when I fell in love again, soon after a breakup...

... And the saddest song on earth for one who is heartbroken...! :'-((

Goodbye to love

...How often have you asked this question - "If you love me, then why are you hurting me?"...

Hurting each other

Here are some highlights from their official website:

1) Both Richard and his sister Karen had great musical talent, but Richard's gift was nurtured much earlier in life while Karen's magnificent vocals was only discovered in her teens. Naturally, what impresses most people about the group is Karen's unique, soothing voice...

2) The group did not have a smooth-sailing musical career even though they won a talent contest in the 60s (like the "American Idol" of today, albeit on a much smaller scale). It was after struggling for a few years that Carpenters became a huge success, earning recognition with Grammys awards and turning into a household name for a worldwide audience.

3) Karen Carpenter's tragic life came to an abrupt end when she succumbed to anorexia nervosa in 1983; it all started from a harmless desire to look slim (sounds familiar?). Richard, on the other hand, developed an addiction to a sleeping pill that he recovered from eventually. Richard still lives today and replies to fanmail. Karen is immortalised in the songs that she sung and the music that she and her brother dedicated much of their lives to creating, and their amazing legacy remains in the hearts and minds of many fans (including me).

7th entry - "Citizen journalism"

2010-07-06T10:58:00.000+08:00

I explored the Stomp website recently and began to ponder over the term "citizen journalism".

Stomp (acronym for Straits Times Online Mobile Print) is touted as "Asia's leading citizen-journalism website". On its "About Us" page, the website was said to resonate with Singaporeans. STOMP reportedly won the IFRA 2008 award for Best in Online Media, surpassing more established news websites like Australia's Sydney Morning Herald, South China Morning Post, Taiwan's Apple Daily and the Philippine Inquirer. According to IRFA, the award recognises publishers who have adopted digital media as part of their total product offer to meet the major changes in how people consume news and information.

The question I have in my mind is whether the success of STOMP is really a reflection of how Singaporeans consume "news". I even wonder about what "news" really means to Singaporeans.

Perhaps I'm too "outmoded" or even parochial in my perspective. To me, "news" is a term for a concisely written, carefully worded, thoroughly proofread and sensibly edited collection of articles published by professional journalists. News reflect what is currently important to society.

Of course, the type of news depends on the audience that the media is catering to. A major newspaper will report about political decisions, social phenomenon and economic issues that impact people on a larger scale. Local or specialty newspapers on the other hand zoom in on the details of everyday events that are nonetheless important to a smaller sub-group of people.

The way news is presented to readers has tremendous impact because of its power to influence public opinion, and with great power comes great responsibility. Hence, regardless of its scale, whether the focus is local or regional or international, news must be informational and factually accurate. News should as far as possible be unbiased, and opinion should be qualified. People who publish news must be mindful of their social responsibility.

To me, STOMP is essentially an opinion based online journal. One is unable to verify any facts being published there, and people who post "news" articles without needing to be responsible for being factually accurate. It does not matter to anyone whether they have verified what they see - they leave readers to decide for themselves. People are free to express themselves in any way.

I would caution readers of the website not to believe everything that they see and read on STOMP, or for that matter, anything they read online. They must be mindful that the contributors are not professionals and they do not need to post anything factual. And everyone knows that images can be digitally altered these days using imaging software. I also feel that people who post "news" on the website should exercise greater social responsibility. They should question their own motives for posting articles especially about seemingly "inconsiderate" members of public, and examine their own behaviour.

Let the ones who are sinless throw the first stone.

6th entry - Returning to Army

2010-07-05T12:36:00.000+08:00

Its been one year since my last "reservist" in-camp training, and I'm back again for another 2 weeks.

A flashback to last July: I was with more or less the same group of NS buddies who returned the previous year - Daniel, Ken, Richard, LZ and SW - plus a few new faces e.g. Michael (an actor and school teacher), YS ("lifeguard") and Tay ("CO PA"). YS and Tay were both the youngest in the group, as they were recalled not long after their ORD. Most of us had a lot of fun doing a whole lot of crazy stuff e.g. looking for durians around the camp.

Sadly, this year there are are fewer of us. Richard has served his NS liabilities and received his good service medal last year - he tried appealing to the SAF to extend his service but apparently they rejected his appeal to serve the country. I was quite sad after I came to know, as he really made good company during the 2 weeks. Daniel and Tay asked for deferrment but we do not know why... Its disheartening for the group, especially since Daniel was the "party livewire" and "class clown", and Tay knows the camp inside out and has good connections within the camp.

This year two new faces joined the group: Ng (another "CO PA") and Cheok (a horticulturist). Cheok seems pretty ok, and Ng is friendly but a bit more of a loner.

Morale among the group is lower but its not only because of the absence of our buddies. We were briefed that there was a possibility that we might be split up next year - the CO wanted to assign us to permanent vocations and projects and if they need to activate one vocation or project then the team will be brought back, so there will be no guarantee that the entire group comes back because all of us are put in different vocations...

It gets worse. Apparently, the discipline for NS-men is set to get stricter. Firstly, the Institute Sergeant Major is particular about uniformity in the dress code and the Regimental Sergeant Major is sticky about punctuality, so for the weekly runs on Wednesday and games on Friday, we need to wear the same attire and turn up on time. There is even a parade for us on the 2nd day at 0745hrs - a first for all of us. And we were told about 3 NS guys who were recently caught for using camera phones in the camp and got punished with 3 days of confinement.

Well, there is a silver lining. One of us in the group is going to walk away with a $100 voucher for the best performing NS-man in the group. I'm not sure how they will gauge our performance since most of us do not actually contribute very much in 9.5 days to be honest, but really - who the hell cares?! We are here to have fun, and have fun we WILL!!!

5th entry - My Trip to Bali

2010-06-28T19:59:00.000+08:00

On my 3rd entry, I blogged about Phuket - the so-called "Bali Thai" because one could easily feel as though in Bali even though its Phuket. Ironically, when I finally did go to Bali earlier this week, I felt as though I was in Phuket. Parts of Kuta town appeared somewhat similar to Patong town in Phuket, especially the streets where tourist souvenirs, clothing and fashion accessories were sold. Unlike Phuket, however, Bali had fewer roadside stalls selling local fare and fruits.

One aspect of Bali that I enjoyed was the traditional and distinctive architectural style of many buildings, and this is a major difference from Phuket. There were hardly any tall concrete or glass buildings, and most were 2 to 3 storeyed terraced houses (including shophouses). Many had facades with pagoda-like structures and steps leading up to a narrow gate. Even gift shops were built like traditional Balinese-styled temples. Interestingly, the predominant color of many walls of buildings in Bali is a dark orange (like the color of the setting sun) and these are framed by elaborate ornate designs (typically dark grey).

Another facinating aspect of Bali is its spirituality. Shrines of all sizes could be seen in almost all shops (except Muslim ones) and Balinese men and women made offerings and prayers throughout the day. The offerings of flowers, food and incense could be frequently observed at the doorsteps of shops, even at the airport Duty Free shops. Statues of Balinese gods and deities could be seen in many street corners, and some were wrapped in yellow silk cloth or grey-chequered cloth.

The rich cultural tapestry of Bali is undergoing change due to modernization and western influence. For instance, even the Barong dance, one of many traditional folk dances that Bali is reknown for, appeared to have modernised and been adapted for foreigners, resulting in a more light-hearted performance that one could easily relate to even if we are alien to Balinese culture. Rather than diluting the Balinese culture, I think such adaptations bring the culture closer to us so that we know Bali is more than just a picturesque paradise - it is also rich in culture and tradition as well.

I think I would love to visit Bali again. There were many interesting places that I didnt have a chance to visit on this trip as there was not enough time. Bali should be enjoyed at a slow pace, with a wonderful travelling companion, and when the weather was cooler such as during November or December. An unforgettable pleasurable experience awaits any visitor to Bali, for indeed it is as alluring (or even more so) than what many travel guides describe.

4th entry - Kelong Trip

2010-06-10T18:09:00.005+08:00

On 29 May, H and I went on a kelong trip. A kelong is a Malay term for a house built on stilts over the sea. Kelongs were traditionally built by indigenous Malay fishermen who laid nets across the stilts to trap fish that swam towards or along the shallow coastline for shelter and food. Kelongs are thus extended quite far out from the shore towards the sea. These days, farms for fish, crab, prawns and other seafood can also be built in the form of kelongs, as fish are increasingly difficult to catch along the coastal waters. A few, like the Kawal Kelong, have even turned into resorts, attracting many city dwellers who enjoy fishing as a hobby or seek a unique holiday experience.

My journey to Kawal Kelong started from Tanjong Pinang, a bustling port town on Bintan Island, Indonesia. Most Singaporean visitors to Tanjong Pinang and other parts of Bintan (for golf etc) take a 2-hour cruise ride from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. Upon arrival at Tanjong Pinang, mini buses and MPVs rented by Kawal Kelong were waiting to pick us up. A one-hour journey from town through the countryside on a bumpy pot-holed road brought us to the pier connecting the kelong resort to the mainland.

Kawal Kelong is a rustic, "homestay"-style resort. Supported by strong wooden poles, the resort has about 20-25 guest rooms (twin-sharing), half of which face the sea and the other half facing a "swimming pool" in the centre of the kelong. The pool is essentially part of the sea, enclosed by fishing nets, and one can enter it by either jumping in from the corridor or sliding down a water slide. Although the resort is considered small in terms of floor area, each guest room comes with the essential creature comforts such as attached shower rooms with toilet and a double bed, a wardrobe with hangars, and even soap and bath towels. However, the only air-conditioned room is a large karaoke room - each guest rooms is only ventilated by one electric fan. The lucky ones who get the sea-facing room have an excellent view that also brings in a cool breeze.

The resort owner Mr Lim is a Singaporean entrepreneur, assisted by his capable wife and a team of friendly local staff. A typical one nights' stay at the resort comes with 4 meals - lunch and dinner on the first day, followed by breakfast and lunch on the second day (before checkout). Lunch and dinner comes with a fresh, sumptuous local seafood spread prepared by Mrs Lim herself and her kitchen helpers - depending on the catch of the day, guests can expect delicious blanched dog conch ("gong gong") with a special chili dip, "flower" and mud crabs stir-fried in chili or black pepper, fresh whole fish ranging from sea bass to groupers, sambal chili prawns, deep-fried spicy chicken, fried calamari rings or baby squid in sambal sauce, assorted seafood soup and green leafy vegetables with garlic. For breakfast, guests can have western-styled bread and sausages with chicken eggs or oriential-styled rice porridge, fried rice vermicelli and egg noodles with otak-otak (a sort of chili paste with chunks of fish and squid). Sometimes guests can be treated to a supper of dessert soup and satay, chunks of spicy marinated and tender chicken, beef or mutton on bamboo skewers, grilled over charcoal fire.

The highlight of the kelong trip is a visit to one of the nearby islands. On this trip, we were brought on a one-hour speed boat cruise to a deserted island for an afternoon of swimming and fun. We saw tiny fishes feeding amongst the corals in the clear, relatively calm waters. If only we brought our snorkels... what a pity! Some of us also took the banana boat ride. Besides these, water-sports enthusiasts can rent canoes, kayaks and jet skies. Snorkelling masks and flippers as well as life jackets are also available for guests free-of-charge, and one can simply explore the clear, unpolluted sea around the kelong.

For those who seek a more laid-back holiday, there are mahjong tables and board games (e.g. carrom) and local television programmes that be viewed from the lounge area. One can also just sit back on one of the bamboo sofa couches and enjoy the sea breeze, chatting with friends over a can or two of beer or cool beverage (chargeble) or cups of hot beverages (free-of-charge). Unlimited drinking water is available throughout the day. Unbelievably, the entire trip costs only $160 per person (inclusive of return ferry tickets, taxes and land transfers, and 4 meals).

Perhaps the most memorable part of the trip for me was waking up in the morning to see the sunrise with H. At 6am, dawn breaks over the horizon in a spectacular splash of beautiful vibrant colors, with breathtaking cloud formations that are reflected on the calm surface of the sea. Shoals of fish swim in their thousands towards the kelong, as if queuing up for their breakfast; even box crabs can be seen climbing up the wooden poles, scuttling away in a hurry to the safety of the shadows when they are discovered. Kingfishers perch stoically on poles around the kelong, ready to swoop down into the shallow water for an unsuspecting fish or crab. H and I tried our best to take as many photographs of the picturesque landscape as we possibly could.

I tried to swim from the so-called boat jetty of the kelong to a floating platform tethered by a rope to the kelong, but the current that swept me back towards the kelong (away from the platform) were so strong that I was forced to give up. In that 15 minute swim, however, I was mesmerized by the shimmering sunlight over the bed of thick sea grass that swayed gently and rhythmically in the ocean current. For a moment, I felt as if I was floating over a lush green meadow on a summer breeze, and clouds were drifting over the meadow in the sky above my head, casting their shadows over the grass. The experience was unforgettable.

Before returning to Singapore, H took us to town where many bought local produce such as ikan bilis (dried anchovies), dried shrimps and oat nut crackers with chili (balingjiau or emping pedas). I believe that I would visit the Kawal Kelong again, provided that it does not succumb to coastal development, financial woes or environmental pollution...

3rd entry - "Bali" Thai (part 2)

2010-05-17T20:35:00.002+08:00

(...continued from Part 1)

Deciding on a place to eat was the first adventure that we embarked on in Phuket. We wanted to see what was on offer around our resort. There were several deserted eateries but these were mostly open-air restaurants selling Italian pizza and pasta, Mexican food, seafood/steak & grill and wine bars and fusion Thai-European cuisine, as well as pubs selling western finger/fast food. Fortunately we spotted a street hawker selling Thai noodles in soup (similar to Vietnamese pho) and thought it would be nice to try it. Despite having to endure the heat and discomfort of perspiration trickling down our faces and soaking through our bodies, we enjoyed the chewy texture of the noodles, its tastiness enhanced by the crunchiness of the fresh bean sprouts and kang kong ("morning glory") and the light but flavourful chicken broth. I added in some chili flakes and fried chili paste to give the noodle a bit more "kick", while H said that he preferred eating the noodles with mint leaves and another local vegetable.

After eating the tasty noodles, we explored Kata town a bit, walking as far as the Boathouse towards Kata Noi beach, before heading back towards the resort. Along the way we stopped by a coffee joint called Andaman Coffee - like a Thai version of Starbucks, ordered 2 cuppas (including a coconut flavoured iced coffee which was very unique and refreshing) and enjoyed the drinks in the air-conditioned comfort of the cafe. As we sipped our drinks and chatted, watching the people walking by outside, time seemed to have slowed down. For us, it was an ideal way to truly unwind and relax...

In the late afternoon, we took a cab to Patong Town and went in search of a local seafood centre that served fresh and cheap seafood. The place that we were looking for (Aroonsom Seafood Centre) was actually near Deevana Resort and Spa in the northern part of Patong, where I stayed in on a previous visit to Phuket, but at that time I could not remember where it was. We walked around Jungceylon (the largest shopping centre and cinema) where we had a facial for only 300THB each, but the restaurants were over priced and not to our fancy. We then found a row of open-air seafood restaurants (opposite Royal Paradise Hotel) where we had a fulfilling dinner of fried large prawns with butter, black pepper mud crabs, stir-fried asparagus with garlic and the highlight of our meal: one large deep-fried red snapper with Thai-style sauce. Our first night in Phuket ended with a stroll down the beachfront at the famed Bangla Street junction. Back at our hotel, we took a dip in the swimming pool just outside our room before we turned in for the night. The water therapy soothed our tired muscles but the irritating mosquitoes forced us to abandon the water for the safety of our air-conditioned room.

The next day, after a hearty breakfast, we took a local bus (30THB) to Phuket Town. The bus trip itself was amazing - although it was very warm inside the bus, we relieved by light occasional breezes as the bus slowly made its way to the Town. Interestingly, the driver made a stop to collect the bus fare from all the passengers just as we were approaching the terminal station which was near the Chinese Temple (junction of Patiphat Rd and Ranong Rd) and a school run by monks. Apparently this was the only way the driver could ensure that none of his passengers could run away without paying the fare. We took in the sights of the Town, stopping by occasionally to visit some shops or to take photos.

At the roundabout where Ranong Rd joined Yaowarat Rd (Chinatown), we chanced upon Coffee Max, a tiny corner cafe that had very limited drinks on its menu and only 3 tables with seats - but it felt like an oasis to us because we could take a short break from the scorching sun and high humidity outside, and freshen-up a little before we continued our exploration. Later we browsed through some art galleries, including one which impressed H very much, as well as some shops. On the way back to the bus station, we stopped at a roadside stall to try a favourite local snack of fresh mangoes with glutinous rice and a topping of coconut cream sauce (40THB for one mango). The mango was in season and very sweet, while the glutinous rice with coconut was slightly savoury and soft but chewy and a little crunchy due to the topping of some kind of fried beans. I thought the snack was absolutely divine!

The sunset at Karon Beach was beautiful. Karon Beach was en route from Phuket Town to Kata Beach on the local shuttle bus, and we stopped not far from the roundabout where an old fountain stood like a sad reminder of a more glorious past. Karon's beach was longer than Kata's and offered an unblocked view of the sunset and the entire coastline from the main road running parallel to it. Tourists were surfing and playing beach volleyball as the sun set behind the clouds on the horzion. The markets selling t-shirts and souvenirs looked rather quiet, and the open-air restaurants were very empty too. We wondered whether these shops would ever survive...

We took a taxi from Karon back to our hotel where we reserved a table for dinner at the Palm Restaurant. After a refreshing shower at our rooms, we treated ourselves to a BBQ seafood buffet with live music and a cultural dance performance (399 THB per pax). The food was acceptable, and the dance was mediocre, but the music put up by the xylophone was highly entertaining. A rain that started halfway through the dinner disrupted the evening as we were forced to take shelter in the pavilion. Instead of dancing on the stage, some of the performers mingled among the diners as those who sat at the back of the pavilion were unable to see the stage clearly. This allowed some diners to come up close and personal with the performers, which was rather delightful.

Our last day at Phuket was spent in our hotel and at the Kata beach. After a breakfast, we took a dip in the resort's old and new swimming pools and jacuzzi, and returned to our rooms to pack and check out. Leaving our bags with the hotel, we made our way from the Kata Beach Resort (where the Kata local bus terminal was) towards Kata Noi beach (further south). By mid-day the sun was too hot and we took some drinks and cake at the Summer Coffee House opposite Tropical Garden Hotel. We were so comfortable in the tastefully furnished cafe that we simply sat there for over an hour, chatting and surfing the Internet. As we walked slowly back to the hotel, we stopped by our roadside noodle hawker and ordered 3 bowls of noodles - effectively ending our trip with the same noodles that we started with on the day we had arrived in Phuket. Time seemed to have passed so slowly that it was as if we were in Phuket for much longer!

Our taxi ride to the airport (700THB) took about one and a half hours due to a traffic jam (unbelievable, considering that it was a Saturday evening). At the airport we bought some donuts and drinks to nibble on before we boarded the plane back to Singapore. There was time to do some last minute bargain hunting and washing up. All in all, our trip was most enjoyable not only because we got to do almost everything that we had wanted to do, but also because H and I spent quality time together - hence the saying that the company that you travel with makes a huge difference! With the right travel companions, travelling will be truly pleasurable and satisfying!!

3rd entry - "Bali" Thai (part 1)

2010-05-17T12:45:00.005+08:00

On 13 May 2010, H and I went on a 3D-2N holiday to Phuket, Thailand. We actually booked our air tickets and hotel way in advance, so we were really looking forward to the trip. We had such a wonderful time there that I felt it was a waste we couldn't spend more time there...

We booked a Tiger Airways flight departing from the Budget Terminal at 0800 hrs, so we arrived at the airport at 0600 hrs. While waiting for the boarding gate to open, we bought some drinks at MacDonald's and sat down to enjoy our cakes and egg tarts which I bought freshly-made from a stall at a coffeeshop near my office the day before. The airport transit area was surprisingly equipped with a large eatery in the atrium surrounded by several shops where one could buy anything from magazines to duty-free liquors and perfume. The corridor leading to the boarding gate looked like a deserted hospital corridor. The staff who gave us our boarding passes at the airline counter when we checked in was the same staff who checked our passes at the so-called "gatehold room". Given the tight competition among budget airlines and the need for them to cut costs to survive, H and I were joking that we might see the same staff doubling up as a flight attendant on board our plane and maybe even flying the plane as well!!

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is an important announcement. We are now approaching Phuket International Airport. Instead of landing the plane in the usual boring way, we are pleased to provide a special experience free-of-charge to our valued customers. Please grab the Tiger parachute below the seat in front of you and put it on, as we will not be landing. Instead, we will be opening the emergency exit doors shortly for you to jump off. We regret to inform you that most travel insurance does not cover this special service. We wish you a pleasant journey and hope to see you again soon!..."

Fortunately our plane did land the usual boring way - safely - in Phuket, and the above announcement was purely a figment of my twisted imagination. When we collected our check-in luggage, we discovered that H's luggage padlock was missing. After making a few enquiries with a number of taxi services outside the airport, we decided on one that charged 150THB per person. We were the last 2 passengers to join the mini-bus of about 10 pax. Along the way, the bus stopped at the office of the transport company "for checking of bus ticket". It turned out that they were using this as a pretext or opportunity for marketing their transport services, as their real intention was to check whether we were interested in booking a taxi from hotel to airport on the day that we departed from Phuket. Stiff competition indeed...

At 11am, we arrived at our destination: the Kata Palm Resort and Spa. Our resort was located in the heart of Kata Beach area in the south-western part of Phuket Island (about 20 minutes' drive from Patong, the most popular tourist spot in Phuket). The resort looked like a traditional Thai villa or small palace. Like many resort hotels, its main lobby was not air-conditioned but ventilated with open windows and ceiling fans. While the lobby was neither very spacious nor grand, guests would immediately feel relaxed in the warm, rustic decor, while enjoying the subtle luxury of gold-painted pillars, wooden carvings and frescos depicting traditional Thai life in the 15-16th century. The only complaint I had was the resort concierge's tardiness in registering us and some difficulty in communication because the staff's command of English was quite poor. But whatever frustration we experienced was quickly dissipated with the offer of a pleasant complimentary welcome drink and a room upgrade at 2,000THB per night (SGD177 for both nights - the discounted internet rate for the room was about 3,000THB per night).

We stayed in a Deluxe Pool Access room in the new extension, which allowed us to step out into the newer swimming pool from our large balcony/sunning deck. The room was spacious and well-equipped, with bathrobes, bedroom slippers and even flip-flops for outdoor use. Although it did not have a bathtub, the bathroom was quite spacious with all the necessary amenities. We had 2 complaints - there was no housekeeping service at night so we could only get our extra pillows the next day, and the mosquitoes were persistent and irritating! The room had a large fridge and kitchen sink with counter-top, and a King-sized bed with a firm mattress. With such a comfortable room, it made us hesitant to step out into the sweltering 34degree heat and stiffling humidity to explore the REAL Phuket, but being adventurous (and hungry) we soon mustered enough determination to leave the comfort of our "sanctuary".

(continued in Part 2...)

2nd entry - Ode to Thunder Tea Rice

2010-05-03T17:03:00.005+08:00

Within the months of February to May, I have dined a record high number of buffet lunches and dinners. Every special occasion e.g. aunt from Melbourne's visit, my sweetheart's birthday, celebration of performance bonus, farewell/thank you dinner for my colleagues, Mother's day etc warranted a trip to a buffet restaurant. When I went on a luxury cruise on board Superstar Virgo, it was literally a buffet trip because every meal was buffet-styled.

None of the buffets, however, could substitute the humble, nutritious and delicious Thunder Tea (Lei Cha) rice in Geylang. I first tried the Thunder Tea rice, a Hakka creation, with my best friend K, many years ago. We had gone to a particular coffeeshop in Geylang to try the dish after swimming, and it instantly became my favourite dish! The aroma of the hot green tea blending with the chunky vegetables such as pickled radish, groundnuts and winged beans made this flavourful and textured dish as unforgettable as it was irresistible. It became a special dish that my friend and I shared, and we introduced them to our sweethearts who also enjoyed this healthy and economical dish ($3.50 for white rice, and $4 for brown rice, and $0.50 extra for fried "dou gan" or hard beancurd stuffed with minced pork).

I have tried Thunder Tea rice at Amoy Street Food Centre (ground floor) and Suntec City Food Republic (ground floor), and while both have their unique recipes resulting in their distinct flavours, my friend K and I still liked the one at Geylang most. Even when it shifted quietly from Lorong 17 to Lorong 19 (apparently due to rental issues), we were determined to locate the shop. Our search was not in vain, as we were soon rewarded by the delicious dish when we finally found the shop. I even took a namecard from the elusive shop - lest it vanished again.

Alas, K told me today that the stall owners, an elderly couple, have retired and their delicious creation could no longer be enjoyed by its fans. I felt so sad that I immediately went to hunt for the Lei Cha recipe online, but I was unsuccessful in finding one that I felt was close to what I tasted. I wished I could have tasted the dish one last time before it began to fade into the distant memories of Lei Cha...

1st entry 2010 - Better late than never

2010-03-17T08:56:00.004+08:00

Its already mid-March 2010 and I didnt even realise that I have yet to update my Blog! In another 6 months' time I will be 34 years old...

In January, I was given a monetary award for 10 years' "long" service in my company. 10 years is hardly considered very "long" when the average length of time that many civil servants I know have been in service for much longer. Honestly, however, I never thought that this milestone would come so quickly, probably because I have done 5 postings during my tour of duty and you don't feel that you have spent a lot of time in one job. I don't know how long I will stay in my current and 6th posting but I realise that its pointless to keep moving unless I have nothing to learn or contribute, or I am very unhappy in my workplace.

February was a month of many celebrations for H and I. On the 7th, we had a pre-Valentine's tea cum photography outing at Tian Fu teahouse. The dim sum was quite fresh and tasty, especially the chewy knife-shaved noodles in sze-chuan chili oil. We were served a variety of chinese teas, each with its own unique aroma and flavour. A magnificent view of the city can be seen from the windows of the restaurant located at the highest floor of the UOB building in Raffles Place. It was difficult deciding which was more enjoyable - the tea, the dim sum, the ambience or the view, but one thing for sure was that H's company gave me the greatest pleasure.

For this year's reunion dinner, my family decided to have a different dining experience. We went to Serenity Spanish Bar and Restaurant at Vivocity instead of going to the usual Chinese restaurants, and ordered a seafood paella with the famous Spanish cocktail, Sangria (we tried the champagne version which was fabulous) as well as some tapas and other drinks (happy hour). H and I met up on the 2nd day of the New Year and spent a quiet time together.

On the 20th, H surprised me with a staycation at Traders' Hotel. He said that his Taiwan friend invited him to the hotel to use the pool facilities and being so trusting I didnt suspect anything. When we reached the hotel, he said his friend might have gone out to meet someone else and he left the key at the concierge for us. Upon reaching the room that was supposedly H's friend's room, H hugged me and said, "We are staying here for the night..." We spent a relaxing afternoon at the pool before returning to our room, where we made love in our luxurious bathrobes... We then went to Heaven's Loft at Orchard Central to meet our friend for dinner. The next day, we went to the Tanglin mall supermarket (I was wearing the hotel slippers...) and bought potatoes etc to our friend's place to cook potato salad. Our friend bought wagyu beef steak as a treat for H to celebrate his birthday on the 24th. After the delicious dinner, we played mahjong till late. It was definitely a weekend to remember!

The following week, H and I went to Oscar's at Conrad Hotel for a seafood feast. The food was fantastic! I especially enjoyed the crayfish and baby lobsters (yabbies) because they were so fresh and sweet! Needless to say, I put on quite a bit of weight...

March is the month where many civil service organizations get really busy due to the financial year coming to an end. One major project that I have been handling will also be completed in March. This financial cycle will repeat itself again the next year and so on. Its one of those inevitable events in life, like death ...

I am SO looking forward to April and May, for I have 2 overseas trips with H lined up and I can't wait!

25th entry - Reflections of 2009

2009-12-30T01:35:00.004+08:00

2009 has been a year of Change.

In April I started work in a different office, with new colleagues and bosses and in a different environment. My job scope was very different from those of my previous postings, but in a way it leveraged on all the skills, experience and knowledge that I had accumulated thus far, and I was glad I had a lot of opportunity to learn and grow and develop.

In June, I broke up with S, my partner of 3 years, and I plunged into a period of loss and hopelessness. Fortunately, a brief retreat to Tioman Island allowed me to recover my strength and optimism, and gave me courage to seek new relationships. In August, I met H, who is in many ways better than S, and my life was filled with renewed joy and hope.

In November, my involvement in APEC widened my horizons and allowed me to nurture new abilities, which were useful in a major project that I had to be in charge of in the following month. In the midst of trying to cope with the sudden spike in my workload, I had to grapple with a change in my immediate boss and the distinct management style that my new boss had, but in some ways it was better for me.

Of course, some things didnt change. One was the fact that I was still lacking in a sense of urgency and weak in time management. Another was my passion with food.

Overall, 2009 was an eventful and challenging year for me. At work, I'm hopeful that 2010 will be a quieter year, but with many of my work projects due, plus a major change in the senior management within my organization taking place in Jan, I doubt that I will get my wish.

For my relationship with H, I hope that I will gain a deeper understanding of H and our relationship will grow even deeper and stronger. I'm very optimistic because so far H is giving me positive vibes, and openness in our communication helps to foster mutual understanding and build trust between us. We are learning to accept each other for who we are, including our colorful histories, and we will strive to make our relationship work.

In terms of family, I feel blessed that my parents have been and will always be there to provide emotional support, and I hope to continue being a blessing to them as well. It isnt easy to maintain a harmonious and loving relationship with my parents, and occasional friction is inevitable (familiarity breeds contempt), but its satisfying to somehow manage to sort out our misunderstandings and grievances at the end of the day and provide each other with mutual positive affirmation and assurance.

24th entry - Romancing the Stars

2009-11-20T10:20:00.004+08:00

When I was in my teens I was drawn to all sorts of mystical stuff and religion, full of curiosity about the unknown and paranormal, and less skeptical about things that I read about in books. I used to read a lot of fantasy books and adventure stories, day-dreaming and wishing that I could embark on some adventures of my own.

I was a particularly avid believer of astrology, delving into books on what the star signs mean and even learning how to draw up star charts and interpret them. When I began to lean towards mainstream Christianity in my beliefs, I began to distant myself from astrology, as it was considered a form of "witchcraft" by the puritanical Christian community. My desire to live an "good Christian life", coupled with my disillusionment with "horoscope", which appeared to be unsatisfactory generic predictions about events in life and relationships, resulted in the rejection of all forms divinity, including astrology.

On the other hand, the love of my life, H, is quite into astrology.

H is a Pisces - supposedly mysterious and alluring, extremely talented, sensitive and tend to fantasize but often get disillusioned with reality. While these traits are coincidentally found in H, I am hesitant to believe everything that is generalised about a person based on their "star sign". Nonetheless, I noticed that H is indeed a Pisces who "often need to take lots of holidays (or time off) to recover from life's many diverse pressures" (from psychicguild.com), and this also means I need to give H more emotional support and personal space.

Whatever is said in general about a particular "star sign", one has to take with a pinch of salt. How an individual is brought up and socialised will have a greater impact on the innate personality traits associated with the "star sign". As for me, I am having the opportunity of a lifetime to learn how to love and care for my sweet Pisces...

23rd entry - Celtic Music

2009-10-25T23:33:00.002+08:00

Some pieces of celtic music have a surreal, enchanting and mysterious quality. Its unlike anything I've ever heard before and yet sounds so familiar - as if I heard them in a dream. I feel that celtic music seem to be a fusion of ethnic oriental (indian/arabic) and western religious (gregorian chanting) music (especially the drumbeat and rhythm, as well as the flute). Celtic songs have been used in the epic movie, Lord of the Rings - they can even pass off as songs from an imaginary, fantasy world.

I like many of Loreena McKennitt and Enya's songs. They are quite well-known artistes whose music are inspired by the celts.

Two of my favourite songs of McKennitt's are "The Mystic's Dream":

...and "All Souls Night" which was also sung by Chyi Yu, another one of my favourite artistes from Taiwan:

I've loved Enya's timeless music since I was in school... Many films and documentaries use her songs as theme or background music. My favourite are Book of Days:

... and China Roses

The lyrics dont seem to make any sense to me but are interestingly poetic...
E.g. The Mystic's Dream:

A clouded dream on an earthly night
Hangs upon the crescent moon
A voiceless song in an ageless light
Sings at the coming dawn
Birds in flight are calling there
where the heart moves the stones
there that my heart is longing for
All for, for the love of you

A painting hangs on an ivy wall
Nestled in the emerald moss
The eyes declare a truce of trust
then it draws me far away
deep in the desert twilight
Sand melts in pools of the sky
darkness lays her crimson cloak
lamps will call, call me home

And so it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
now I feel, feel you move
And every breath, breath is full
So it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
Even the distance feels so near
All for, for the love of you

A clouded dream on an earthly night
Hangs upon the crescent moon
A voiceless song in an ageless light
Sings at the coming dawn
Birds in flight are calling there
Where the heart moves the stones
there that my heart is longing for
All for, for the love of you

... and All Souls Night lyrics:

Bonfires dot the rolling hillsides
Figures dance around and around
To drums that pulse out echoes of darkness
Moving to the pagan sound.

Somewhere in a hidden memory
Images float before my eyes
Of fragrant nights of straw and of bonfires
Dancing 'til the next sunrise.

CHORUS:
I can see the lights in the distance
Trembling in the dark cloak of night
Candles and lanterns are dancing, dancing
A waltz on All...All Souls Night.

Figures of cornstalks bend in the shadows
Held up tall as the flames leap high
The Green Knight holds the holly bush
To mark where the Old Year passes by.

CHORUS

Bonfires dot the rolling hillsides
Figures dance around and around
To drums that pulse out echoes of darkness
Moving to the pagan sound.

Standing on the bridge that crosses
The river that goes out to the sea
The wind is full of a thousand voices
They pass by the bridge and me.

CHORUS TWICE

Another characteristic is that sometimes we cant really make out what they are singing unless we read the words of their lyrics. E.g. Book of Days:

One day, one night, one moment,
my dreams could be, tomorrow.
One step, one fall, one falter,
east or west, over earth or by ocean.
One way to be my journey,
this way could be my Book of Days.

Ó lá go lá, mo thuras,
an bealach fada romham.
Ó oíche go hoíche, mo thuras,
na scéalta nach mbeidh a choích.

No day, no night, no moment,
can hold me back from trying.
One flag, One fall, One falter,
I'll find my day may be, Far and Away.
Far and Away.

One day, one night, one moment,
with a dream to believe in.
One step, one fall, one falter,
find a new earth across a wide ocean.
This way became my journey,
this day ends together, Far and Away.
This day ends together, Far and Away.
Far and Away.

... China Roses lyrics:

Who can tell me if we have heaven,
who can say the way it should be;
Moonlight holly, the Sappho Comet,
Angel's tears below a tree.

You talk of the break of morning
as you view the new aurora,
Cloud in crimson, the key of heaven,
one love carved in acajou.

One told me of China Roses,
One a Thousand nights and one night,
Earth's last picture, the end of evening:
hue of indigo and blue.

A new moon leads me to
woods of dreams and I follow.
A new world waits for me;
my dream, my way.

I know that if I have heaven
there is nothing to desire.
Rain and river, a world of wonder
may be paradise to me.

I see the sun.
I see the stars.

22nd entry - Another milestone

2009-10-24T22:48:00.004+08:00

Today, another important milestone in my relationship with H was reached. What we had initially planned to be a date at the Singapore National Museum, had at the last minute became a "meet the parents" session in which both of us had afternoon buffet hi-tea at the Marriott Cafe with my mum.

I imagined how nervous and stressed out H must have been throughout the afternoon, especially considering that H knows how protective and sharp my mum is. Although I had checked with H whether H was comfortable with meeting my mum, I knew H would still be in a sort of dilemma, and it still took a lot of courage to go through it. For this, I love H even more.

H did really well. My mum was also in her best behaviour. I'm so grateful to God that the initial meeting turned out as well as it could have been, and it augured well for us because it meant my mum assessed that H is "safe" for me to go out with. Whether she liked for my relationship with H to develop is another more complex matter, but at least she has less reason to object to me seeing H.

Which is a very good thing, because I have come to be really fond of H. Ever since we became "exclusive" and then "official" as a couple, I am increasingly more and more in love with H. Not only do I enjoy H's company, but I also find that H and I are much more compatible than those I had dated in the past. H is mature and wise yet playful and cheeky in an adorable way; H is understanding and flexible for many things yet firm and uncompromising when it comes to things that mattered such as principles; H is practical and down to earth, but dares to dream and has ambitions; H takes control and initiatives in a sensible way, but also lets me take the wheel sometimes. All in all, we are achieving a sort of balance in our relationship which promotes healthy positve development.

I'm quite optimistic about how my relationship with H will develop. Of course, in life we can never be sure about what lies ahead, but I'm sure about how my heart feels about H and from what H tells me, my feelings are reciprocated.

21st entry - Alanis Morissette MTVs

2009-09-28T23:45:00.002+08:00

In the 1990s, when I was serving national service, I used to listen to Jagged Little Pill on the long bus journey way to camp in the mornings and evenings when going home. Her songs make me ponder at the way my life was going, especially when everything is going hay-wired... And I'd be thinking to myself - what the f**k did I do wrong this time?!

I love the song Ironic...

Basically, it tells me not to be too disappointed or bitter when things dun turn out in life the way they oughta. And her song Hand in my pocket tells me, Hey, its ok! Be happy! :-) in spite of everything, just be happy...

... and when I have calmed down, I listen to the wise advice in You Learn...

Gosh i miss those songs... so nostalgic to listen to them again after 10 years!!!

20th entry - Finding Someone to Love - Again

2009-09-27T21:40:00.004+08:00

After going through the heartache of a breakup only a few months ago, and experiencing 3 failed long-term relationships, I didnt expect to find the courage to start looking for someone to fall in love with - at least, not so soon. The fear of going through the same cycle of courtship, going steady, encountering problems, and finally breaking up, is rather daunting for me.

In life, I've come to expect the unexpected... and yes, I found someone to love - again.

About a month and a half ago, I started "dating". It was more with the objective of getting myself a distraction to overcome the loneliness and emptiness within me, arising from the breakup. I thought, well, if I do find someone who may be compatible, then good, if not, then the dating process itself gives me something to look forward to on weekends. Besides, I had no lack of distractions - re-igniting my passion for watercolor, re-engaging in my routine of swimming and jogging on alternate days, hanging out with friends I care about and whom I am close to, and discovering new interests like cooking as a group and trying recipes that I've never tried before. In short, I didnt consider myself to be "desperately seeking".

Two close friends of mine introduced me to 2 of their friends, and we went on group dates. Initially it was really awkward for me to be dating someone again. I didnt know what to do, and my self confidence was totally absent. Both my dates turned out to be uninterested in me, but fortunately one of them is now someone I consider to be a friend (at least we still keep in touch). Although my friends tell me to take it easy - you wont find someone so easily, etc - I was a little demoralized and concerned about my "market value" depreciating day by day, and even fearful that I would end up being single for the rest of my life.

One day, I decided to put up a personal ad, hoping to meet some nice people who may turn out to be someone I would fall in love with. The ad was simple and specific, and to avoid attracting people who were only going for certain types of looks, etc I included a recent photo of myself. Soon, replies came in, and I excitedly corresponded with those who responded to it. I was thrilled that most of the people who responded all seemed really serious about having a real long-term relationship with someone like me (based on what I described). Eventually, I chatted with some of them and arranged to meet them. I was terribly nervous at first. To make matters worse, I injured my ankle from jogging and it restricted my mobility. Yet in spite of all this, I managed to have an amazing time!

One of my dates, H, turned out to be the most compatible with me among the rest, and we began dating seriously. I was initially determined to let nature take its course with regard to the pace at which our relationship was developing. In the past, I guess I was too eager to "make things work" with my ex-es too early in the relationships and ended up ignoring a lot of warning signs that the relationships could not work out. While I know that its usually very difficult to find "a perfect fit" and effort needs to be put in to make relationships work, I discovered from past experience that if the differences between 2 people are too great, the strains in the relationship will inevitably lead to a breakup. So, I told myself - take it easy! kekekekee.....

Yet, as Alanis Morisette sings in You Learn (1995), life has a funny way of sneaking up on you... hehehhee........

On our first date, H and I hit it off really well. We spent a whole afternoon together at the Botanical Gardens, serenaded by the beauty of nature while enjoying a romantic picnic. In the evening, we made love for the first time, and it was magical! A few days later we went on our 2nd date, and decided to travel to Bangkok together in the following week. It was either a "Make It" or "Break It", and thankfully, the trip turned out to be fabulous (at least for me)! It was much more pleasurable for me than the past two Bangkok trips that Ive had. After the trip, H and I decided to date each other exclusively.

I'm excited about what the future holds for me and H. Even though life can be unexpected and many things can go wrong, I'm grateful to the Lord Almighty for the chance to meet someone who I can and want to learn to love, and cherish. Already, I know my heart is falling for H, and I already perceive H to be someone I can spend the rest of my life with. H has many qualities that are desirable and hard to come by, and the chemistry that we have is incredible considering the short time that we have known one another. H is also reciprocative towards me, and I think we are progressing at a comfortable pace together.

Well - who knows what the future will hold for us? Only God knows... que sera sera... and whatever happens, I will learn something from it, I guess.

H is a big fan of Josh Groban, and this is one of the best you-tube recordings that I've found so far. Ti amore ... this is for you!

19th entry - 2 nice anime theme songs

2009-07-13T22:25:00.006+08:00

I was in the mood for some "feel good" music and chanced upon these 2 cool theme songs. The first is from one of my favourite anime, D-Grayman. Its the ending theme song for the 8th series/season (not too sure also). Thanks to the wonderful person who uploaded the song to you-tube!!! What I like about it is the uplifting quality of the melody, and superb vocals of the female singer Stephanie (which blends rather harmoniously with the male voice).

The second is from an anime that I would love to watch because the visuals are so appealing. Its dark but cute at the same time, and less gory than the vampire anime I've seen. The lead character reminds me of Morrigan, a female vampire in Marvel vs Capcom (an arcade game that I was crazy about 10 years ago when I was still schooling...).

Some pictures of Morrigan ... she's old but she's HOT!!! Wish i were like her ...

18th post - An end and a new beginning

2009-07-09T14:59:00.003+08:00

"When one door closes on you, another door opens for you."

Three weeks after the end of my relationship with Sam, I made some new friends and got reacquainted with an old one. I also had time to attend church, after a long "sabbatical" from church.

At a church retreat to Tioman Island, I got to know some cool new friends. My roommate on the trip was a sweet bearded man - handsome, musically talented, a divorced grandfather from the US who was in Singapore to market his children's educational programme. My travelling companion was a friendly lady who enjoys snorkeling and adventure. We stayed at the Berjaya Beach resort, which had comfortable rooms (with bathtub) and well-equipped facilities. The food was quite good - there was even a BBQ dinner on the first night. I enjoyed a 60 minute detox facial (using clay mask) for RM160.

Last week, I learnt how to cook assam fish with a friend. He brought me to a wet market near his residence to buy the ingredients and then we prepared the dish at his apartment. It was quite a lot of work, but our efforts paid off as we were successful in cooking a tasty assam fish meal.

The messages delivered at Church were uplifting - reminders of who God means to us, and what we have to be thankful for. Many of the youngsters are very talented - one of them is one of 10 tenors in Singapore, another knows 10 different martial arts, and another is the art director of The Necessary Stage. I see a great future in our church - if these talents stay in Church and glorify God with their unique gifts and abilities.

At the time of writing this entry, I am undergoing 2 weeks of in-camp training, doing the most enjoyable activities that could ever be experienced by a national serviceman - swimming in low-chlorine pools, eating delicious glutinous rice balls at the canteen, chilling out in the library and jogging on a nature track. All in the name of serving the nation ... hahaha

Best of all, I have moved on.

17th entry - A trip down memory lane

2009-06-09T16:47:00.004+08:00

This is the second day of my breakup with S, and I am more stable emotionally to reminisce the wonderful memories of the past 3 years that we spent together. Regardless of whether S had been sincere or not, in order to preserve the beauty of those memories, I am writing on the assumption that the love we had was real and sincere.

How did we start in the first place? After a few dates, I assessed that S's character is full of good "C" attributes: caring, considerate (thoughtful), careful (meticulous), conscientious, committed, "cultured", calm (he can remain composed even under the most life-threatening circumstances), confident and courageous. He is also pragmatic and down to earth. When S asked me whether we could be a couple, I agreed even though we only knew each other for a relatively short period of time.

S was in many ways a caring lover - in fact he was the best lover I had so far. When I fell ill, he came all the way to visit me (even when I was suffering from chickenpox it did not deter him), and on many other occasions he even brought me dessert soup and herbal tea that he spent hours preparing. Back then, he was staying a good distance from my house - 45 minutes by train to be precise. Everyday he will ask about me, how is my day, did I sleep well, what did I eat... and on weekends when we are supposed to meet he will ask me what I would like to do, etc. Whenever we went dining out, he will ask me what I want to eat, etc. Even when making love, S would ask me whether the position was comfortable, and he was always worried that I would be too tired etc.

I was happiest during the first 6 months of our relationship. I guess it was our "honeymoon" period. We revelled in each other's company, and frequently talked about how we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, with our stuffed animals as our children. We exchanged greeting
cards and love letters, declaring our affection for and devotion to each
other. We shared about our past, and discovered new and exciting things
about each other.

Of course, no relationship is "perfect" without any hiccups. A few weeks
into our relationship, S shouted fiercely at me over a very small matter
that displeased him, and I remembered sobbing the whole night and wishing I
never went over to his place. Being afraid he would know, I went to the
living room and tried unsuccessfully to sleep, but the tears kept rolling
down uncontrollably. Just when I thought he would just continue to sleep
soundly in his room and that the sun would never come up, he found me on
the sofa and urged me to return to the room to sleep. I cant remember how
we patched up after that, but on hindsight this should have prepared me for
more sad moments to come. Love is blind, and I kept giving him chances. One
thing I never learnt to tame was S's explosive hot and quick temper.

There were other happy occasions that made the relationship bearable, but
these were often speckled with bits of unhappiness, which started from a minor matter that caused S displeasure. For instance, whenever we were having a meal together, I would naturally want to pick food for him, but he hated it so much that he would glare at me or shout at me. We never saw eye to eye on anything - either I would relent or he would go along with me. The biggest issue we had was about sex. S initially told me that he could love me without any physical intimacy with me, and that we could have a relationship without sex. Later he told me that actually its because he could not stick to one partner, and he was in fact meeting several other men for sex, and he didnt want to spread any disease to me. He felt that an "open relationship" could work. I disagreed: I could not imagine how we could be emotionally bonded in a relationship and not having any physical intimacy together, and yet having sex with different partners outside of the relationship. It would be no different than a twisted kind of friendship.

S envisioned the scenario that he would be living with a group of friends like this when he grew old, and everyone would take care of each other in a sort of commune. I guess this comes from the fact that he never had a close-knit family, and he was out staying among friends since he was a teenager. On the other hand, I was looking forward to growing old with only one person - my most beloved - holding his hand and looking at each sunrise and sunset while strolling down a beach, washing one another's dentures every morning and night, helping one another to bathe, cooking meals together. The physical intimacy in our youth would serve as a cementing bond between us, together with other little acts of love for each other, done with sincerity and tenderness. With such vast differences in thinking, our separation was inevitable. Perhaps it was best that the inevitable came earlier than later.

On my favourite US TV programme, Boston Legal, a tune that I was familiar with since I was a teenager coindentally surfaced - Que Sera Sera by Doris Day. How apt in my case!

16th entry - Post Mortem

2009-06-08T12:03:00.002+08:00

Although I had been through a few failed relationships, this is the first time that I felt the need to "formalise" my internal closure via a "post-mortem" (PM) on the relationship. I'm thinking that it will help me get over the relationship and assess what I have done well and what I can improve. To give a more "objective" view, ideally I should involve my partner, S, in the process of performing the PM but given my knowledge of S, he will think it a complete waste of time. Hence, I decided to target my assessment at the relationship rather than at the persons involved, although at the end of the day it is still a subjective assessment.

As of today, 8 Jun 2009, S and I would have been together for 3 years and 4 months exactly. Technically the breakup took effect on 7 Jun 2009, when he read the "Letter of Termination" that I had emailed to him in the morning. My emotions at this point are that of disappointment, sadness, bitterness, a sense of resignation and regret - these are expected to interfere with my assessment of the relationship.

I will attempt to examine 5 aspects of our relationship in this PM:
1) What I liked about the relationship
2) What I disliked about the relationship
3) What we did well in this relationship
4) What we could improve on in future
5) What lies ahead (immediate and distant future)

My Likes
I enjoyed the healthy shared activities that S and I engaged in together - eating at good food places such as Siam Kitchen and some neighbourhood hawker food; going on bargain hunting shopping sprees e.g. dietary supplement road shows and food fairs; traveling to KL, Bangkok and Phuket; spending weekends watching TV and cooking at home; having weekend getaways at hotels offering promotional rates; and going to spas for facials and massages. S's sharing with me the stories of his travels and life experiences also made me feel happy because I was interested in his past as much as his present and future. I like the time we stayed together in a rented room, battling bed bugs and cockroaches, feeding the landlord's pet chinchillas and observing our monthly anniversaries with small celebrations.

My Dislikes
The relationship was at times emotionally abusive. S has an explosive temper, which he showed from time to time, and liked to raise his voice at me, whenever I did little things that displeased him e.g. picking food for him when we are having lunch together. S often admonishes me for what he perceives to be "foolishness", without bothering about my feelings. S and I differed significantly on many things e.g. from our tastes in food, our taste in clothing, to our perspectives on love and relationships and about life in general. Sometimes I wondered how we could have become a couple in the first place when we were fundamentally so different and incompatible. As a result, we tended to compromise on many things, and this made both of us very unhappy throughout our relationship. I dont know about S, but the only thing that kept me going in spite of our differences and unhappiness was the belief that Love will Conquer All, which I only realise now is a cliche for impractical romantics.

What we did well
I tried my best to be accommodating, understanding and tender towards S. I think S tried his best to be patient, level-headed and caring towards me. I tried means and ways to make our relationship a happier one, by doing little favours for S (especially when he was studying for a course related to his occupation) and giving him little tokens of affection that he told me he appreciated. S also did the same for me. We chatted everyday, although sometimes there was nothing much to talk about or because S didnt feel like sharing (to me). We complimented one another on areas that we were weaker in.

What we could do better
I should learn to listen more and be more attentive to my partner's needs - what is spoken and what is unsaid. I should be more assertive in articulating my views instead of letting my partner lead in the relationship all the time. S should open up and share more candidly with his partner in a way that still shows his love and concern. S should learn to trust and respect his partner more.

In the horizon
In the immediate term, I will still meet up with S over some administrative matters. I will be occupied with work, catching up with friends and spending time engaged in my latest hobbies and distractions. In the longer term, I will be looking for a new partner who is hopefully more compatible and appreciates me more. It will not be an easy search, but I think I shall enjoy the search process more than the end-result. Its been a while since I dated anyone new, and I shall enjoy every moment of my "single and available" status.

15th entry - A breakup

2009-06-07T12:20:00.002+08:00

Just like the relationships I had before, I thought the one with S will last... Unfortunately it was my wishful thinking.

I saw it coming, when our intimacy became non-existent. In the last half a year, our phone calls became part of a routine, and sometimes even an annoyance. Whenever we met up on weekends, there would hardly be any tenderness. S told me it was part of a duty, an obligation, a carrying-out of responsibility, and S said that this was an expression of "love" - why else do something for me and not anybody else.

Truth is, I dont know who else S has been showing the "love" to. S told me that in the last half a year, S found several partners to have sex with. Some of the partners were even total strangers (ONS) and random encounters, and it didnt matter if the partner was totally not attractive. Such partners were able to fulfill S's sexual needs better than I could.

I was heartbroken and disappointed and angry. Even if S was acting all this time, I could not have known. S told me once that I was "S-T-U-P-I-D"... S could not have been more right.

Actually I am partly to blame too. About 1 year plus ago I confessed my betrayal to S. It was a ONS with S's friend. Back then, I thought S accepted my apology and forgave me. I thought we moved on and our "love" grew deeper. Now I know its all a big farce. I was really "S-T-U-P-I-D" to think that anyone could be generous enough to accept a betrayal.

Anyway, its over, and I'm glad I have enough experience of such things to know that time will heal my wounds.

(S, if you ever read this, know that I dont blame you for what you did, because I am no better (or maybe worse). The best thing you could have done, which you did, was to tell me now rather than later, and wake me up from my "S-T-U-P-I-D" dream earlier. All the best to you, and may you continue to find joy in your many many partners to come. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.)

14th entry - For the love of cakes

2009-05-23T17:41:00.006+08:00

For as long as I can remember, I love cakes. Not just eating them, but also admiring them. Of course, I am selective - I do not fancy sponge varieties like pandan cake or swiss rolls. I like cakes with tons of chocolate, nuts, real fruits and cream, but most of all I appreciate those with character.

So far, the best cakes that I have tried are found at:
1) Lana Cake Shop (see reviews)
At 36 Greenwood Avenue (Bukit Timah), this shop has been selling "homemade" cakes since the 80s (or maybe earlier). When I was growing up in the 80s, my parents would spend what was to us a small fortune to order a cake from Lana to celebrate occasions like Mother's Day and birthdays and even Christmas. Their fruit cakes wrapped in gold-foil are full of juicy raisins and crunchy walnuts, and it tastes moist and very sweet. At my 1st birthday anniversary celebration, my parents ordered for me a blueberry cake shaped like a large number "1". I believe it was my mother's favourite - back then, blueberries were considered a luxury. Later, I discovered that Lana was famous for its chocolate fudge cake. Ready-made cakes are not available at this shop - you had to order at least 3 days in advance and collect it in person. To me, Lana's cakes are like evergreen songs - one never gets tired of them!

2) Cedele (see
review for the Wheelock Place branch - the best so far based on several reviewers' comments)
The first time I bought my first carrot walnut cake from this shop, I was taken aback by its price. After eating it, I realised that you get what you pay for - excellent quality. The carrot walnut cake is soft yet coarse due to the chopped walnuts, giving it a rustic homemade feel, and its not too sweet. The thin layers of cream cheese blends fabulously well with the cake, enhancing the richness of its flavour. Cedele's carrot cake reminds me of "mother" - full of tenderness and love!

3) Secret Recipe

A few years ago, a colleague brought me to a Secret Recipe restaurant for lunch. While their set menus were nothing to rave about, I was attracted to the large cakes and curry puffs on display in their dessert counter. There were so many varieties of delectable cheese cakes and chocolate cakes that one may simply marvel at the chef's ability to create so many different and interesting flavours to suit their customers' varied tastes. Later, my other half, S, told me that Secret Recipe actually originated from Malaysia, and the prices of the cakes sold in its Singapore branches are twice those sold in Malaysia. I've tried the same cakes in Singapore and in Malaysia, and both taste the same to me, so I've been buying SR cakes from Malaysia ever since... SR cakes remind me of Art and endless creativity!

4) TCC (see website)
UOB Signature Card used to have a promotion in which customers could get free coffee at selected TCC outlets by producing a recent Signature Card receipt. S and I would sip our complimentary coffee and order some of TCC's cakes. One particular cake captivated my heart the first time I ate it - if I recall correctly its name is "Chocolate Indulgence" - a small cupcake-sized confectionery that had a liquid dark chocolate core. When I sank my fork into it, the chocolate filling oozed out. It was totally divine! Alas, the promotion ended and I've not had a chance to visit TCC lately... *sigh* TCC cakes are associated with the Modern, the Fashionable, the Trendy - Avant Garde!

S's favourite cake is blackforest cake. My dad's favourite is durian cake. My mum and I like all sorts of cake, but she prefers the fruity type while I prefer the chocolatey type. Nothing beats a delicious cake served after a satisfying meal, but I can eat cake anytime - just like our friend Keroberos in Sakura Cardcaptor!

12th entry - The First Gay American Idol?

2009-05-16T11:03:00.005+08:00

Article from Yahoo News, 1 May 2009:

Could Adam Lambert be first gay "American Idol"?

LOS ANGELES - Adam Lambert wears eyeliner and diamond stud earrings, sings like a dream and has won a rare standing ovation from tough-minded judge Simon Cowell.

With three weeks to go before the "American Idol" final, Lambert, 27, is favored to win the No. 1 U.S. television talent show and become, possibly, the first gay or bisexual singer to be handed the "Idol" title by millions of Americans.

Lambert, praised by "Idol" judges for taking risks with songs like Cher's "Believe", has never publicly confirmed his sexual preference, nor has he denied speculation about being gay -- a striking contrast to 2003 runner-up Clay Aiken.

When photos showing him kissing other men and dressed in drag circulated on the Internet last month, Lambert said simply: "I have nothing to hide. I am who I am."

Lambert ended in the bottom two for the first time on Wednesday night, but viewers have so far shown little sign of caring about his ambiguous sexual orientation.

An army of "Glambert" fans cheer him on, vote for him weekly and have made him the favorite to win.

"Some people are saying, wouldn't it be amazing that in the same year that the first African-American president took office in the U.S., we also elected the first gay and/or bisexual 'American Idol'," said Robert Thompson, professor of popular culture at Syracuse University in New York.

"I don't think that's comparable. Rather than being surprised, I am thinking 'Wow, have we really got this far without having one yet?'"

Gender-bender stars are nothing new in the music business -- Elton John, Prince and the androgynous Boy George. Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell are openly lesbian, and while TV stars like Neil Patrick Harris have come out as homosexual, Hollywood awaits its first huge gay male star.

"American Idol" may just give it to U.S. music fans. The show has become a cultural phenomenon in the United States in the last eight years and is as much a popularity contest as a talent show. The audience that averages 26.3 million viewers weekly has shown an openness to embrace everyone from 8 to 80 years old -- and it's the viewers who vote to decide who wins.

Aiken, the 2003 runner-up, dodged questions about his homosexuality for five years before publicly acknowledging in 2008 that he was gay.

Lambert, who donned a white silk suit and diamond ear studs for the show this week, is more flamboyant in his dress, vocal style and performances than most -- if not all -- contestants.

"Idol" judge Kara DioGuardi called him "confusing, shocking, over the top, theatrical -- but I like it!"

I went through several blogs and found comments from fans who love him "even though he's gay" etc., but by and large I found it heartening that most fans love him for who he is: a top-rate entertainer, a darn good singer and a Glam-rocker. The fact that he is homosexual is besides the point. I've always believed that Americal Idol is a competition for vocal talent, not so much for character or personality or any other aspect of the singer's life (unless it interferes with the ability to entertain or perform).

When asked about his sexual orientation, Adam replied, "I am who I am." I hope Christians will not find this offensive (it is taken from scripture) and homophobic fans wont withdraw their support of him. To me, from a celebrity starting out his career in an unforgiving (even brutal) industry, these words come across as brave, unpretentious and "in-your-face" rebellious - "whether you like it or not, I wont deny any part of me just to please you; I wont succumb to public pressure".
could have said. For this as much as his fabulous vocal talent, Adam has my deepest respect.

Another American Idol star who came out later in his career was Clay Aiken. Compared to many celebrities who go to great lengths to conceal their sexual orientation, I think he is considered quite courageous and honest. I wonder whether he will become unpopular because of his public admission, but from the comments made by many of his fans, they dont seem to mind very much. Similarly, I hope that Adam will also not lose his appeal because of his sexual orientation.

13th entry - How many tongues do you speak?

2009-05-09T23:53:00.005+08:00

"Speaking in tongues" according to the Bible is a gift of the Holy Spirit that I have never acquired. I remember that a group of concerned cell-group (or bible study group) members at a church I attended years ago had prayed fervently for me during a regular weekly meeting, to receive the gift of tongues from the Holy Spirit. After about 15 minutes of "praying in tongues", I knew in my heart that I did not receive any ability from God to "speak in tongues", which I attributed to my own lack of religious piety or faith. But seeing that my cell-group members were praying so earnestly and knowing that they firmly believed that I would (and should) receive this gift from God, I decided to act as though I had received the gift by pretending to speak in tongues (it was actually some incomprehensible gibberish stuff that I mumbled). My acting was quite convincing, for they immediately gave thanks to God and assumed that I had been given "the gift"... At that time, I felt really guilty for lying, and also depressed that God withheld this gift from me when everyone else seemed to have it.

Since then, I came to believe that "speaking in tongues" in a biblical sense is not absolutely necessary. Its not an issue of sour grapes, but rather I do not know what speaking in foreign tongues (which sound like gibberish) can be used for - it sure is not used for communication (unless its with God, but then its ridiculous because tongues are not needed for communicating with God anyway!). In the same vein, I also felt that Christians from different denominations who argue endlessly about whether "speaking in tongues" is a myth should really focus on other more critical issues, like their own walk with God - no point being able to speak in tongues (or for that matter being given any gift) and not using it for any edifying purpose. Needless to say, the number of "tongues" one can speak (in) is totally nothing to be boastful about and in fact its implications are rather contentious - does more "tongues" necessarily equate with a higher or greater "gift"-ing?

My colleagues were talking about a young man in Singapore with exceedingly high IQ who knows more than 10 foreign languages, including some that are rarely spoken by foreigners, like Hebrew. What is remarkable is that the guy is only in his late teens or early twenties. I admire people with great language ability, especially those who can not only master their own mother tongue and official languages, but also other foreign languages. They would be able to converse with people from other countries, learn about their diverse political and cultural backgrounds, and discover fascinating things about the world at large. I wished I was able to speak in many "real tongues", but it will be difficult for me. I didnt even manage to learn my mother tongue well when I was at school, and my short basic course in Arabic was a disaster... Sigh! I guess I just dont have affinity with languages...

11th entry - We don't want a cure!

2009-05-03T20:44:00.002+08:00

The title of this blog was inspired by the movie, X-Men - The Last Stand (2006). Mutants were offered a "cure" for their "abnormality" by the US government, after a gene that permanently reverses the mutant genes and makes mutants "normal" was discovered. In the story, mutants who saw this as a panacea for their suffering amidst persecution and marginalization in "normal" human society obviously welcomed the offer.

Others felt otherwise. Being a mutant is not like being sick. What there to cure? In the end, the polarised mutants took sides. Frustrated and angry ones joined Magneto in a bloody revolution against their human tormentors. Little did they know that their sacrifice was in vain, for they were merely used and exploited by the equivalent of a real-life heartless terrorist leader - much like the suicide bombers in the Sep-11 tragedy. The level-headed ones defended the humans, and gained not just political victory for the mutants but also won the hearts of many people.

We must have read, or at least heard, about how leaders throughout history had sought to bring about the systematic extermination of people whom they felt were somehow "different". What I feel is truly tragic is not only the many innocent lives were lost because of the abuse of political or military power that was supposed to protect them. The frightening truth that many of us are not even aware of, or would admit to, is that there are people who believed in the basis or source of discriminatory policies because of their own fear or paranoia, of those different from them.

Today, political correctness, feminism, racism, ageism and sexism have been used widely in jokes. But trivialising them is no laughing matter, especially when people still suffer, usually in silence, from various degrees of discrimination and persecution due to their differences or beliefs. Part of the fear and paranoia about people who are different comes from ignorance and phobia - both of which are "diseases" that plagued mankind since the Dark Ages. Ironically, is it not the "normal" humans that need a "cure" from their ignorance and phobia?

We may think that we have come a long way, but complacency is something we can ill afford when the fact is discrimination and persecution in various forms still exist. I wonder if we can ever be rid of it.

I read with interest about the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) saga that recently came to a close. The newly elected President of this women's rights/gender equality advocacy group, Ms Dana Lam, commented that she was surprised that the NGO, which was at the centre of much controversy because of its sexuality education programme in schools and its open acceptance of lesbians, received so much support and activism (read related stories reported in Channel News Asia article and the Straits Times forum discussion).

What interested, and indeed comforted, me most was that Pluralism won in this battle, even though by a very narrow margin, and the War still rages on. Scholar Terence Chong commented that "the warning against ‘playing the religious card’ is but a disingenuous attempt to pretend that such Christian activism does not exist in multi-religious Singapore. This is unhelpful. Instead, it would be more constructive to urge the more moderate and liberal Christians to speak out. The local Christian community is not homogenous but one that contains a gradient of values, and its time for those who are more inclusive and tolerant of differing life-choices to stand up and be counted (see full article at Opinion Asia). Like Terence, I believe that no political or social segment of the community should be allowed to dominate the political or social views of others.

How are Singaporeans reacting to the AWARE saga? Many, undoubtedly, will respond with cold indifference - "It's just a cat-fight turned ugly". How many Singaporeans will actually feel joyful for the modest victory of social activism, and breathe a sigh of relief that the development of civic society in Singapore did not suffer a blow because of the political ambitions of a religious minority?

I do not believe that bigotry should be fought with equal bigotry or even bloodshed. What the X-Men achieved could be achieved in peaceful means by the GLBT community as well. It may take time, and perhaps some sacrifice, but surely "normal" people can slowly and eventually open their minds and hearts to be more tolerant and accepting of those different from them. At least, this is my hope. The GLBT community do not need a cure - they just need to be accepted as they are.

10th entry - Nudism in Conservative Singapore

2009-04-17T10:57:00.004+08:00

In Jan this year (around the Lunar New Year period), a couple strolled in the buff down a famous drinking hole in Singapore. Their behaviour sparked a lively debate in several online forums such as Sgforum. Had it been caused by 2 drunks or mentally handicapped/unsound individuals, there would probably not be anything to sensationalize. What was apparently so interesting about this case was that the man was a Swedish exchange student, and the woman was a PhD scholar from A-Star, a leading local agency that drives Singapore's R&D sector. This couple knew what they were doing, and probably knew what they were getting themselves into (read more details in the Asiaone news article).

When I first came to know about this incident, my first reaction was: what on earth were they thinking?! Were they trying to make a statement, and if so, what?

In another more recent case, a Norweigian man was caught having sex in his car with his girlfriend and going at 100kph down a motorway in the UK. The woman was reportedly sitting on her boyfriend's lap and causing him to swerve about because he could not see what was in front of him while driving (obviously!) (read the details in a UK Telegraph article).

We must have read widely about "lewd acts" taking place in all sorts of public places - in swimming pools, on airplanes and trains, even in libraries and playgrounds. Many teenagers find it amusing to "moon" other road users from their car windows and speeding down a highway. Streakers have frequently appeared in the middle of soccer and golf games; some of them are protestors for a cause like environmentalism but most are usually just attention seekers or party spoilers. Due to modern technology, some of these incidents have been digitally filmed using high-resolution mobile phone video cameras and uploaded onto the Internet. Some advertisers even exploit such phenomenon to promote their client's brands.

Many people find exhibitionism rather offensive and would like to see perpetrators punished for their "perverse" behaviour. I would agree with these people in the case of flashers - men who expose their private parts to women to embarrass them or "outrage their modesty" - because I see them as being mentally unstable and therefore a potential threat to society. They should be treated for their mental illness or put away to prevent them from causing harm to others. One day they might expose themselves, but another day they might commit molest or even rape. Similarly, I feel that people who become exhibitionists due to intoxication should be punished not only because of the potential harm they might cause to others as a result of irresponsible drinking or drug abuse, but also because of the harm they inflict on themselves.

I feel that apart from those who are mentally ill or socially irresponsible, other forms of nudism such as those who desire to walk around naked in their own home (away from public view), those who merely want to tease others (i.e. they know that they are being silly) or those who want to make a social statement ("its ok to be nude" or "its my freedom to be who i want to be") should be allowed to do this. In some cultures, it is socially acceptable to appear in the nude in public.

In some specific situations, it might even be beneficial to encourage nudism, such as among children, as part of their education. In the book, Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi, pupils at Tomoe Gakuen were encouraged to swim in the school pool "without a stitch on" because the revolutionary Headmaster Sosaku Kobayashi "wanted to teach the children that all bodies are beautiful":

And why did he let them swim in the nude? Because he thought it wasn't right for boys and girls to be morbidly curious about the differences in their bodies, and he thought it was unnatural for people to take such pains to hide their bodies from each other.

Among the pupils at Tomoe were some who had had polio, like Yasuaki-chan, or were very small, or otherwise handicapped, and he felt if they bared their bodies and played together it would rid them of feelings of shame and help to prevent them developing an inferiority complex. As it turned out, while the handicapped children were shy at first, they soon began to enjoy themselves, and finally they got over their shyness completely.
(Page 55, 1999 Asian edition, Kodansha International, Kinokuniya Company)

Coming back to the case of our somewhat courageous but at the same time thoughtless nude couple, in view of the current context of conservative Singapore, what they did was apparently wrong in the eyes of our laws as stipulated in the Miscellaneous Offences (Pubic Order and Nuisance) Act, Cap 184:

Part IV, Section 27A - (1) Any person who appears nude — (a) in a public place; or (b) in a private place and is exposed to public view, shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $2,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 3 months or to both. (2) For the purpose of this section, the reference to a person appearing nude includes a person who is clad in such a manner as to offend against public decency or order. (3) Where an offence under this section is committed in a private place, it shall be lawful for a police officer to enter the private place without the authority of the owner or occupier of the private place to effect the arrest of the offender. In effecting entry under subsection (3), it shall be lawful for a police officer to use such force as may be necessary to enter the private place. It shall be lawful for any person whatsoever to arrest any person found offending against this Part and to deliver him to any police officer.

I wonder if this legislation needs to be reviewed. It seems to criminalize a whole lot of socially unacceptable behaviour that are being committed possibly hundreds or even thousands of times on a daily basis all over Singapore, and yet it is difficult (if not impossible) to be enforced by the Police:
1) spitting in public place like a coffee shop, market, eating house, school house, theatre or public building; on mass transport, or on any five-foot way or sidewalk of any public road [Section 11, sub-section (1)(f)]
2) burning materials [Section 6, sub-section (1)]
3) using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour in public [Section 13A, sub-section (1)(a)]
4) creating a ruckus (what about people who blast loud music from their car stereos or MP3/4 players on trains?) [Section 14, sub-section (1)]
5) being drunk [Section 18]

The impetus for reviewing the law is the changing norms in Singapore society - law/policy-makers should re-look at whether something socially acceptable or unacceptable decades ago is still relevant now, and whether it is worthwhile to have such laws when enforcement is impractical or even undesirable. Who or what are we really protecting with such laws?

Take "excessive noise" for example (Section 14). What is considered "moderately loud" to some is deemed "deafening" to others. I have a colleague who cannot stand people who talk loudly around her in the office or in public. She would not hesitate to ask someone who has a radio on to turn it off, when everyone else in the room is enjoying the pleasurable distraction. Needless to say, she is hardly popular with anyone, but it is not unimaginable for the law to rule in her favour if she charges her colleagues under the Act (Cap 184).

Yet, when people burn joss paper and all sorts of things during certain religious or cultural festivals or rituals, and produce choking fumes, air pollution, dirty the environment, destroy public property (if grass or concrete floors are burnt), and might even present a fire and safety hazard, we do not see Police enforcing Section 6. Are there double standards in the way we apply the law?

Compared to the foolish and horny Norweigian man and his girlfriend, the brainy Swede and his bright girlfriend were not endangering the lives of others by their "nuisance" behaviour. However, they have been charged in court and most likely to be convicted under the law, and their beautiful future as intellectuals would be over (see latest update by Channel News Asia). For the record, I am not suggesting that we pardon them because of their brains - that would be another set of double standards. My point is why are we so harsh on some people for expressing their views or for displaying socially undesirable behaviour?

Maybe I always like to challenge rules. For instance, I have a tendency to eat food like sandwiches or fruits on trains and buses, but this is not allowed: "No Eating or Drinking - Fine $500". As a rule, I always make sure I neither dirty the environment (e.g. by littering) nor eat something that will give out a strong aroma. Hence, I rationalised that so long as I did not litter or behaved inconsiderately to others, I am not at fault even when I broke this train rule.

However, once I was publicly humiliated by an over-zealous fellow train passenger who scolded me for eating a sandwich. It was 11pm and I was very hungry after working late, so I bought a sandwich and started eating it the moment I boarded the train home. I was observing my own rule and not causing any harm to anybody. As I unwrapped the sandwich and was about to take a bite, the man sitting next to me said "Are you going to eat that?". I said yes, whereupon he shouted at the top of his voice "You dont know how to read the sign is it?" I felt he didnt have the right to behave in that way towards me, and that the rule should only apply to people who littered or were inconsiderate, so I asked him "Why can't I eat in the train?"

Instead of explaining, the man shouted "You educated right? Cant read English ah?". I was puzzled and embarrassed, so I asked him why did he have to shout so loudly. Infuriated, he screamed "Why shouldnt I?!". At that moment many heads turned to look at us, as if we were a quarrelling couple. To end the matter, I apologised to the bully, but he continued his relentless tirade against my flagrant flouting of the rule. I could never understand why he was so harsh, but I ignored him. Nevertheless, this incident taught me a lesson - to be vigilant in reading the expressions of fellow passengers before eating on the train...

For more forum views and opinions on the hapless nude couple, read another fellow blogger's write-up.

9th entry - Moving On

2009-03-28T16:03:00.002+08:00

Come April 1st, I will be starting a new job. In the last 8 years, I moved 5 times to 6 different departments within the same parent organization. Fortunately, all the movements were voluntary and initiated by me, i.e. it wasn't as if my bosses wanted to get rid of me. To many people this could be considered fast.

My longest posting was just over 2 years, and it was my first posting and my first job after graduating. I witnessed several major changes there: shifting of office, which was a grand, historic affair and a logistical nightmare; 4 different bosses who came and left (boss no. one resigned 6 months after I joined, boss no. two posted out 6 months later, boss no. three took over as an interim measure for 3 months, and boss no. four joined the section for 8 months until I posted out); and 4 different co-workers in the same section who also came and left (2 of them posted out 6 months after I joined, and their replacements left just before I did).

The subsequent postings were all relatively short, but gave me greater exposure and more learning opportunities, including the chance to go for study trips overseas. My shortest posting was my last one - only 11 months and 14 days. It was tough coping with the changes and I have become quite tired of moving from one job to another. Adjusting to changes in the job, colleagues, bosses and working environment can be quite difficult as one ages. Right now I just want to find something I enjoy doing and stick with it, perhaps for at least 3 years or more.

Is it good or bad to keep moving on to different jobs?

8th entry - Lizards

2009-03-07T13:33:00.004+08:00

In the natural world, some animals are known to exhibit transgender characteristics in certain situations for survival.

Reptiles, the closest relative of the ancient dinosaurs in prehistoric times, for instance, can switch from male to female to increase their chances of mating. According to an article in Yahoo News, researchers reportedly found that young male Augrabies flat lizards in South Africa imitate females to fool aggressive older males into leaving them alone, in an example of transvestism among animals. Experienced males chase and bite their young rivals, so by becoming "she-males", the younger males can avoid being picked on, and thus increase their chances of mating. Every underdog has his day.

Stanford biology professor Joan Roughgarden postulated that the diversity of sexual behavior and gender roles, whether in the animal or human kingdoms, is not an aberration. Her research, published in "Evolution's Rainbow - Diversity, Gender and Sexuality in Nature and People" (University of California Press) showed that more than 300 species of vertebrates have sex with the same gender. There are gay sheep and lesbian lizards. Some animals change gender or have more than one type of male or female. History, science, even the Bible shows us the multiplicity of human nature. Gender is an expression of identity rather than biological expression. It is much like an occupation.

Roughgarden is not alone in her views. A 1999 review by researcher Bruce Bagemihl shows that homosexual behavior has been observed in close to 1,500 species of animals ranging from primates to gut worms, and is well documented for 500 of them. In most instances, however, it is presumed that the homosexual behavior is only part of the animals overall sexual behavioral repertoire, making the animal "bisexual" rather than "homosexual" as the terms are commonly understood in humans.

Another researcher, Petter Bøckman, the scientific advisor of the exhibition Against Nature? speculates that the true extent of the phenomenon may be much larger than currently recognized: "No species has been found in which homosexual behaviour has not been shown to exist, with the exception of species that never have sex at all, such as sea urchins and aphis. Moreover, a part of the animal kingdom is hermaphroditic, truly bisexual. For them, homosexuality is not an issue." Examples include giraffes and penguins, the latter of which may form same-sex pairings that mate monogamously for life (they even refused to mate with other sexes of their own species when compelled to do so).

However, Bagemihl cautioned against the scientific observations made about homosexual behaviour among animals: "We are in the dark about the internal experience of the animal participants... as a result, the biases and limitations of the human observer--in both the gathering and interpretation of data--come to the forefront in this situation.....With people we can often speak directly to individuals (or read written accounts)....With animals in contrast, we can often directly observe their sexual (and allied) behaviors, but can only infer or interpret their meanings and motivations."

Not everyone agrees that animals exhibit homosexual behaviour or transgender characteristics. Researcher Luiz Sérgio Solimeo argued that there is no "homosexual instinct" in animals. In 1996, homosexual scientist Simon LeVay admitted that the evidence pointed to isolated acts, not to homosexuality: "Although homosexual behavior is very common in the animal world, it seems to be very uncommon that individual animals have a long-lasting predisposition to engage in such behavior to the exclusion of heterosexual activities. Thus, a homosexual orientation, if one can speak of such thing in animals, seems to be a rarity."

Dr. Antonio Pardo, Professor of Bioethics at the University of Navarre, Spain, explains why homosexuality does not exist among animals: "For reasons of survival, the reproductive instinct among animals is always directed towards an individual of the opposite sex. Therefore, an animal can never be homosexual as such. Nevertheless, the interaction of other instincts (particularly dominance) can result in behavior that appears to be homosexual. Such behavior cannot be equated with an animal homosexuality. All it means is that animal sexual behavior encompasses aspects beyond that of reproduction."

Actually I find that both Pardo and LeVay do not deny the existence of homosexual behaviour in animals - rather, they are saying that homosexual behaviour is uncommon (and abnormal) among animals and animals that engage in homosexual acts do so for other reasons than the fact that they preferred having same-sex relations. Many scientists and doctors such as Solimeo and Dr Charles Socarides seem to have a judgmental "right and wrong" perspective towards homosexual behaviour among animals, just as they would judge homosexual behaviour among humans.

I think that such scientists and doctors in no position to criticize other scientists for being unscientific in "reading" human motivation and sentiment into animal behaviour. Humans have been "humanizing" animals in cartoons, movies and documentaries, and live animal shows in zoos etc. Science and religion can be interpreted in any way individuals want to because both are based on faith - believing in what we cannot see or understand after making certain assumptions about the Truth. I do not think that there is anything right or wrong with our interpretations so long as we are not imposing them on others.

7th entry - My first taste of Fugu

2009-02-28T11:22:00.003+08:00

On 20 Feb 09, I had my first taste of fugu (河豚, 鰒), the infamous Japanese puffer fish that fascinated me ever since I heard that people risk their lives to eat it. Having a penchant for exotic food, I have always believed that it must be quite a thrill to eat fugu - like taking a bungee jump. The meat must be so sweet and delicious that people pay so much and still risk fatal food poisoning to taste the fish.

So, how does fugu taste like? Well, rather bland and rubbery, unfortunately. I was quite disappointed, really. If not for the single drop of sweet plum sauce that accompanied the slab of translucent white meat laid on top of a ball of sushi rice, the fugu sushi was practically flavourless. Even yellowtail (hamachi) or tuna (maguro) had more taste than fugu. The texture is nothing like the "out of this world" sensation that Japanese artistes described of their experience on Japan Hour, shown on Channel News Asia every Saturday evening at 7.30pm and repeated on Sundays at 8am and 1pm.

A recent TV programme Dining with Death on Okto channel that featured the puffer fish and other poisonous fish as delicacies in various cultures, shed some light on why my fugu experience was such a let down. Due to increasing demand for this delicacy, the rare and tastier wild puffer that fishermen caught in the deep sea has been gradually replaced with puffers reared in fish farms across Japan. The taste of farmed fugu is much milder, weakened further by mass production processes - large quantities of the poisonous fish are prepared daily under watchful supervision by trained workers and the processed meat are shipped to various parts of Japan and exported abroad to restaurants such as the one in Singapore.

I'm not convinced that I ate the REAL puffer. Perhaps I should travel to Japan to try their famous fugu kaiseki, where the entire meal consists of various preparations of the fish, including sashimi presented in the shape of a chrysanthamum flower (symbolising death in Japanese culture) and sake with puffer's fin.

6th entry - Adrian Tan's speech "Life and How to Survive It"

2009-02-19T21:25:00.002+08:00

Taken from address at NTU Convocation 2008 by Adrian Tan (author of Teenage Textbook)

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.

5th entry - Jap anime theme songs

2009-02-19T11:08:00.003+08:00

A significant part of my enjoyment of Jap anime comes from the opening and ending theme songs. I find that if I like a theme song of a particular anime, then I will usually like the anime as well, and vice versa.

Here are some nice theme songs I picked up from you-tube (i'm so grateful to all those who put in the effort to upload these songs! *muacks*):

Basilisk
The Opening song's heavy metal beat prepares audience for the heart-stopping action and plot twists. The 2 ending songs feature nice vocals and music by J-pop artistes.

Opening song (Onmyouza - Koga ninpocho 陰陽座甲賀忍法帖)

Ending song 1 (Nana Mizuki - Wild Eyes)

Ending song 2 (Hime Murasaki)

The Twelve Kingdoms
A soothing melody in Chinese-classical style is followed by fast-paced, swash-buckling action rhapsody - a very unique composition!

Opening music

Diamond Dust Drops
The opening is a cheery and energetic girly J-pop tune to warm the hearts of the young and young at heart. The groovy R&B tune of the ending song lets one listen in quiet contemplation of one's ups and downs in life.

Opening song

Ending song

Sakura Cardcaptor
My all-time favourite anime!
Opening 1 is super cute and innocent, drawing the audience immediately to the main character and her friends, leaving you full of expectation for what comes next. Opening 2 brings audience closer to the inner world of the main character who by then would already be familiar to her fans. Opening 3 invites audience to a dream-like world where the most unexpected happens... The uplifting and child-like innocent quality of the music soothes the tired soul after a hard day in the harsh world.

Opening 1

Opening 2

Opening 3

4th entry - Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea

2009-02-07T15:37:00.008+08:00

I watched Studio Ghibli's latest movie, 崖の上のポニョ, Gake no Ue no Ponyo (Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea) with eager anticipation recently. Having seen the TV trailer and heard the cute theme song, I had high expectations of the movie.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed after watching it. There was the usual elements of a Goro Miyazaki movie that distinguishes it from many Japanese anime - fantasy, childlike innocence, lively movement (动感) and beautiful illustration and color. However, I had felt that the plot was a little too simple and meaningless. I found it unbelievable that Japanese and Hong Kongers could rave about this movie.

Just when I was going to write off the movie in my mind and on my Blog, I chanced upon some information while surfing the Internet that changed my perspective about Ponyo. The first piece of information was from Wikipedia:

Ponyo was an entrant in the 65th Venice Future Film Festival
(Telegraph). It received a special mention, for "the high artistic and expressive quality of animation able to give form to wonderful imagination of the worldwide cinema master".

WHAT?! I asked myself. Am I missing something here?? Still unconvinced but my confidence faltering, I decided to check out why Studio Ghibli made this movie. That was when I found this article:
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER & FORMER PRESIDENT OF STUDIO GHIBLI SUZUKI TOSHIO REVEALS THE STORY BEHIND PONYO

It turns out that unlike the elaborate CG animations we have been pampered with in this Hi-Tech age, Ponyo's animation was drawn entirely "by hand". The movie is also intended for kids, rather than for adults - hence its simple plot. Miyazaki personally drew the sea waves, which had come alive in the movie - both due to the plot (magic was used to control the waves) as well as skillful animation. This was critical as the Sea was the central theme of the movie.

What I liked most about the movie was the theme song. Besides being cute and childlike, it was terribly catchy and moving. It sounds like Doraemon's theme song, which is uplifting and lively (活波). I kept replaying the song again and again on my computer but I just can't seem to get it out of my head! The theme song was even spoofed by some Cantonese jokers who combined it with Jackie Chan's advertisement for a hair-growth tonic, which was totally hilarious...

3rd entry - Q: Would you go Gay for Pay?

2009-02-01T23:37:00.003+08:00

A: Why not?

Tyra Banks recently highlighted a (what I consider to be) controversial issue on her talk show "Tyra": Men who are Gay for Pay. I found it rather interesting and decided to express my views about this issue (perhaps my perspective will change again in future so I thought I should put it down in writing and review what I wrote in time to come).

Before I comment about the issue, I first like to say that I enjoy Tyra's shows because I find them very entertaining. Although the issues she discusses are primarily for a female audience, and they are not dealt with in intellectual or analytical depth (unlike some of Oprah Winfrey's shows), she is able to draw out responses from her interviewees and her audience in an amazing way. Sometimes she raises some pretty difficult questions that many of us have thought about privately but are afraid to confront especially in public or even articulate to others.

In the show, many of the interviewees who acted in gay porn but were self-confessed straight men revealed that the gay porn industry is more lucrative than straight porn. They claim that they were "forced" to act in gay roles for the money because they were only getting paid $500 a scene to act in straight porn but they could earn ten times more in gay porn. They apparently "force" themselves to perform sex acts by mentally preparing themselves before each scene. Judging from their growing fan base, they were pretty good actors.

My first comment is that I am convinced that not everyone in this world is totally straight or gay; some of us are perhaps more one way than the other at some point in our lives - what is commonly termed "bisexual". Society at large has been artificially categorizing us as being straight or gay or bisexual, when in fact I believe that everyone is bisexual in various degrees. I dont have scientific proof, but plenty of anecdotal evidence. I know of numerous men and women who are more gay or straight some time in their lives, or who believe that they have made conscious choices to be gay or straight (i.e. their preference). Of course, there are rare exceptions of people who are neither straight nor gay - like the European guy who reportedly will only have sex with cars (yes, through their exhaust pipes, and yes, always with a condom) and some rumored shepherds who are curiously attracted to certain members of their flock...

My second comment is that there is nothing morally wrong with (watching) porn. Lets face it - watching sexual acts being performed by adult actors/actresses is a lifestyle choice that should be respected like any other hobby. If I cannot accept it, I simply do not watch it, but I wouldnt stop others from watching and enjoying it. Besides, I think porn in itself does not sensationalise sex or promote fornication - do thriller movies like "Saw" or "Psycho" promote psychotic acts or murder? People who cannot distinguish between fact and fantasy should be counseled or banned from watching TV - period. Above all, I think its wrong to judge others. Masturbation with the assistance of porn is even touted as an alternative to sexual promiscuity and unsafe sexual practices; it might even save marriages in situations where men and women have incompatible sex drives.

Similarly, there is nothing morally wrong with being a porn star. Its a job, and a tough one at that. I admire porn stars for their professionalism - I imagine that its not easy to get sexually aroused in front of the camera especially when the partner is a total stranger (or someone who the star is just not attracted to), much less perform picture-perfect karmasutra feats in front of the camera with the person (usually in as few takes as possible), and the typical weak plots/scripts probably do not help the stars very much in terms of preparing them mentally for their roles, either. Porn stars are quite pitiful even - facing all sorts of pressure and challenges in showbizz (on and off stage) and getting NO recognition for their professionalism whatsoever.

Remember the romantic comedy, Zack and Miri Make a Porno? Given the current economic downturn and possibly prolonged recession, porn seems like a very lucrative option for those who lost their jobs and have difficulty finding new jobs. After all, isn't the government encouraging "re-training", "skills upgrading" and "employability"? I would not hesitate if I were given the opportunity to act in porn, regardless straight or gay. Problem is, I think I am quite unlikely to get accepted at the auditions with my physique and appearance (if I am auditioning for mainstream porn). Maybe I would have better luck as a director or a producer (I dont even mind being the guy who puts oil or makeup on the stars if I can stay on the production set)...

Hmmm - I wonder whether there will ever be a talent competition for porn stars in the future - The American Porn Idol or America's Next Top Porn Star and a Best Porno Award in the Oscars/ Emmy/ Golden Globe...? For now, we shall be content with voting for our favourite stars only on porn sites.

2nd entry - 3rd Year Anniversary

2009-01-30T09:49:00.005+08:00

S and I have been together for 3 years. Even today I feel that it is unbelievable and unthinkable that we have been a couple for so long! I often ponder at what makes our relationship work.

We are:
1) "Down-to-earth": we are pragmatic in our aspirations and daily decision making; we believe in harvesting the fruits of hard labor (though we occasionally admire people who are successful by being lucky); we like stability and structure; and we like to think of ourselves as honest most of the time

2) "Food loving": to the extent that we are critical of what we eat, and unlike people who just eat for sustenance we really appreciate good food, but we are also conscious of our meal budgets and menu prices. We do not consider ourselves as gourmet hunters who go to great lengths to enjoy the best food - instead, we are always on the look out for bargains e.g. one-for-one promotions and buffets. S is more picky and does not eat certain meats and seafood, and has a soft spot for sambal chili.

3) "Homely": on most weekends that we spend together, we are usually at home. We take turns to go online while watching TV/DVDs. S is into Facebook games like Mousehunt, but I prefer yahoo free-to-download games. We occasionally watch movies and go shopping when the need arises or we have vouchers or we happen to be in JB (where its cheaper).

4) "Metrosexual": we explore a variety of beauty products and visit a number of different beauty parlors for facial treatments. We are conscious of the ingredients used in the products and are willing to spend substantial amounts of our salary on maintaining the health of our skin and body. We often visit roadshows held by Natures' Farm and GNC to grab bargains for vitamins and supplements, and consume health products on a regular basis. The only thing we lack is regular exercise, due to our laziness and priorities.

Like a plant growing in a pot in a greenhouse, I have been blessed with a sheltered life in a supportive and close-knit family environment. The local education system prepared me well for a career in civil service after graduating from university. My life experiences are very much narrower than people who struggle to cope with broken families or who cling to the fringe of society. S on the other hand has lived away from home for most of his life, and encountered all sorts of obstacles, making him stronger, more resilient and independent.

S's philosophy in life is to better himself but not to the extent of harming others (at least not in a bad way). S cherishes the things he owns because they do not come easy, and guards them carefully. S does not waste time or resources on frivolous things (unless its for relaxation or enjoyment), and wants to make the best of everything he has. To some, S might appear to be more calculative or exacting. I am in contrast more wasteful and extravagant and tend to take things for granted. Over time I learned to be more like S in appreciating what I have and making the best of things.

Our perspective on relationships is perhaps the most fundamental difference between S and I. From young I was instilled with traditional family values by my parents, who chose to take simple and parochial perspectives in life. As I am by nature very cautious and risk adverse, I tend to surround myself with like-minded individuals who reinforce my value system, and even adopted a religious faith that I thought was aligned with my own perspective. I thus found it difficult to understand and accept other forms that relationships can take. S, on the other hand, has many friends who lead complicated personal lives and are involved in highly complex relationships. Gradually I grew to accept such "deviations".

Perhaps it is accurate to say that I am evolving, and the differences between S and I will be diminished or mutually accepted over time. Honestly, I never realized how alike S and I have become ever since we became a couple, until I wrote this blog entry. Most of the time we tend to scrutinize microscopically the insignificant differences between us and lose sight of the commonalities: perhaps this is the biggest reason why couples these days fight and break up (in fact S and I nearly broke up once because of this).

Recently, S and I were discussing about our work and bosses. S said: if you change your mindset from "its normal to have a good boss" to "its normal to have a bad boss", you will see that those who have had good bosses were extremely fortunate and hard to come by, but its also not so bad that you are having a bad boss now. Extending this perspective to relationships, I think I would adopt the mindset that "its normal to have a less than perfect relationship/partner". hah.

1st entry (2009) - We are one another's Angels

2009-01-02T23:27:00.004+08:00

Angels: genderless beings with a pair of white feathered wings; a gentle countenance always bearing a kindly and happy smile, and sometimes having a golden halo around the head. This was my earliest impression of what angels are. As I got older, angels took the form of innocent children wearing white tunics, singing hymns or carols.

Later in life, the Christian perspective of angels appeared to dominate: angels are the heavenly attendants of God, always singing His praises. They are also messengers of God, protecting the children of God from evil demonic forces or bodily harm. On a television programme I watched, some people even related personal encounters with "angels" who came to their rescue in life-and-death situations.

In the Christian Bible, angels appeared to have hierachies, like legions of heavenly soldiers. They were given names (e.g. Michael and Gabriel) and played significant roles in biblical history. And the devil was supposedly a fallen angel - banished from heaven because it thought it was greater than God.

A well-known drama serial, Touched by an Angel, like many Hollywood films, depicts angels disguised as humans, receiving missions from God to help people in need. A famous romance movie released 10 years ago, City of Angels starring Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan went one step ahead to explore the possibility of humans having romantic (and even carnal) relations with angels and vice versa. Angels occasionally feature in Japanese anime/manga too, and in some anime/manga the conventional meaning of and associations with the word "angel" is subverted e.g. D. N. Angel. and Burst Angel.

Angels are not unique to Christianity (or Islam and Judaism). According to wikipedia, in Zoroastrianism, each person had a guardian angel called Fravashi. In the Bahá'í Faith, angels are actually humans who through the love of God have consumed all human limitations and have been endowed with spiritual attributes. Angels probably existed in folklore for as long as fairies, deities and supernatural beings have. Interestingly, Hinduism and Buddhism do not have similar parallels. Devas (देव) are technically not angels although they have some similar characteristics (e.g. invisible to humans, genderless, and having supernatural powers). Buddha or various Bodhisattvas (बोधिसत्त्व) are certainly not angels.

I believe angels exist, but I do not believe that they are the only ones capable of doing good in this world. So what if angels really do come to the rescue of those in trouble? Do we fold our arms and do nothing to help? We can be one another's "angels" - by helping another fellow human being with our whatever God has blessed us, and supporting those around us in times of need. Like the caption of the picture in Beautiful.mag's website says, we are angels with only one wing (each) - we can only fly when we embrace each other. How apt!

18th entry - End of 2008 already?

2008-12-31T18:57:00.007+08:00

Another Christmas just flew by. Like Garfield in the comic strip, I waited so long for it, and then, its gone. The New Year has arrived, and as I was writing this blog entry, I realised I had forgotten the details of how I had spent the first day of 2009.

The love of my life, S, came to fetch me this morning to the neighbourhood that I grew up in. The first thing we did when we arrived was to visit the marketplace where I used to buy breakfast on weekends and holidays, or whenever I was neither schooling nor working. Eating the food that I would usually order when I went to the market brought back memories of my childhood and adolescence - thosai masala (a crispy, thin vegetarian pancake with mild potato curry filling) from the Indian hawker stall, handmade bao and steamed glutinous rice with chicken & mushroom, you-tiao (crispy fried dough sticks), and minced pork and mushroom noodle.

I downloaded a picture taken of the market by another netizen and fellow blogger (Source: ZM's blog). The marketplace is quite typical of many "neighbourhood centres" built during the 80s by the Housing and Development Board, which enables residents to gain easy access to grocery and sundry goods shops, and cooked food eateries (known colloqially in Singapore as "hawker centers" and "coffee shops"). Neighbourhood centres will typically also have small bakeries, clinics, barbers/hairdressers as well as small furniture, stationery and clothing shops. These centres are slowly diminishing, giving way to large, air-conditioned buildings (aka "shopping malls") like those in Tampines and Sengkang.

After the meal, we explored the neighbourhood centre. Most of the shops facing the main road were open and some of them were even doing quite well considering that picky Singaporeans these days prefer to shop comfortably in modern malls. As expected, the row of shops nearest to my apartment block were quieter; in fact one entire row of shops had been left vacant. The owner of the bakery that I frequented (not because of the variety or quality of bread sold but because of convenience) recognized me and lamented that people's tastes were changing, implying that it was struggling to keep up. I guessed that it was only a matter of time before the owner would decide to wind up the business.

Next, S and I visited the apartment block in which I had lived for about 28 years. I noticed that the lift was quite small and dark compared to the one in the apartment that I am currently staying, and it did not stop at every floor. When we reached the floor, we were greeted with the nearly panoramic and unobstructed view of many neighbouring estates and even a glimpse of the sea and the Central Business Destrict. Having a penchant for nature, S commented that I was lucky to live just opposite a large park with lush greenery and tall trees.

On this trip down memory lane, I was greatly saddened by 2 things. Firstly, the Primary (Elementary) School that I studied in for 6 years had been demolished. I knew it closed down a few years ago, but I had hoped to catch a glimpse of it before the building was no more. When I saw the empty field overgrown with grass where my primary school building had stood, I felt as if it never existed - a most frightening thought, like waking up in the Twilight Zone and realising I was trapped in a different time-space dimension.

Secondly, I discovered that my former apartment had been rented out to some foreign workers or students. There was dried paint splashed all over the front steps leading to the doorway, indicating that one of the subsequent tenants or owners of the apartment owed money to "loan-sharks" (illegal money-lenders). What was once a glossy, beautifully polished marble floor in the living room (which we loved to sit and even sleep on) had turned into a dull, dirty surface that nobody with clean bare feet would consider stepping on. The sand-tex (a rough type of wall surfacing popular in the 80s) walls that my parents were so proud of were painted over in a ghastly shade of pale green, and the tenants pasted sticky brown tape all over it to keep wires in place. I felt as though my former apartment was disfigured and abused - like an innocent and lovely woman who had been violated by a vile rapist and beaten up.

Only five years ago, this apartment had housed a small, contented family. It shared this family's joy and laughter in better times, and gave warmth and shelter to this same family in bad times. It was almost a part of the family. Now, it was like a prostitute's den, used as a temporary living quarters for transient foreigners who did not know of its past, nor cared of its future.

I weep uncontrollably as I write this. I feel much, much sadder now than when I moved out of the apartment 5 years ago. And angry. Why didn't the subsequent buyer(s) take good care of the apartment? Mostly, I am upset with myself. I blame me for not choosing a good buyer or tenant. I should have been more thorough in screening those prospective buyers and in selecting a responsible agent who was not merely keen to close a deal and earn a commission.

Too much emotion over nothing? That maybe right, since I cannot do anything about the reality. I suppose the "old me" is simply unwilling to accept the reality that the "new me" sees.

2008 has not exactly been a good year for me. I realised that I didn't enjoy my current job and it was unsuitable for me, but I had not found a better substitute and my career future was uncertain. The financial turmoil sparked off by the US credit crisis not only ruined my hopes of making any profit from my investments, but also threatened to wipe out my hard-earned savings and made me fearful of losing my job. Tons of money spent on facials, beauty products and vitamins went down the drain after I contracted chicken pox, which made me loathe my appearance and lose my self-confidence. Due to a lack of exercise I gained a couple of kilos (5 to be exact) and this dealt yet another blow to my self-esteem - not that I think being fat is wrong (although I tend to agree that being overweight is bad for health) or that I dislike being fat per se (hmmm, actually I do, but this is besides the point), but I allowed myself to degenerate. Its like, I look in the mirror and discover - HEY! This isnt me!! This is NOT how I am SUPPOSED to look!!!

Looking at the political uncertainty in Thailand, the Middle East, Afghanistan and India/Pakistan, "World Peace" is definitely not something we can expect in 2009, though I hope its not all doom and gloom like what the Prime Minister warns in his New Year message. I will be contented if 2009 turns out to be a slightly better-than-expected year for me...and for everyone out there as well.

P.S. Check out the Garfield website for more Garfield comic strips.

17th entry - Legend of the Seas (Part 3)

2008-12-22T18:49:00.007+08:00

Continued from Part 2

Information dissemination
(a) Comprehensiveness (covering all essential aspects of the cruise experience, including safety, directions) - [my score:5] guests received a daily schedule of all the activities going on concurrently throughout the day, including the meal times, the locations where the activities would take place, and highlights of main activities. However, there was a lack of proper instruction given on the gratuity (tipping) for the room attendant and fine dining restaurant staff. The prepaid gratuity coupons did not arrive with the envelopes meant to put them in, and my parents and I were clueless as to what we should do with the envelopes as there was no clear mention of the acceptable methods of giving the gratuity i.e. either to give the envelopes personally to the ones deserving of it, drop them off at the Purser's Desk when settling the bill or leave them in the room.

(b) Timeliness (not just without delay but ample enough for guests' decision making) - [my score:6] the daily schedule and fact sheets for the next day would always be neatly placed on our beds a day before when the room attendant prepared the bed for nighttime.

(c) Simplicity (easy even for "intellectually challenged" persons to read/understand) - [my score:5] The text on the fact sheets and schedules were relatively easy to follow in terms of language but due to the fine print, close line spacing and blue font color I thought it was easy to miss out information unless we went through the info sheet slowly.

Guest Relations, Room Service, Housekeeping
(a) Ease of access - [my score:6] Guest relations officers who took care of most of guests' needs (including requests for information), room service and housekeeping services were available 24 hours a day and all guests needed to do was to dial a button on the phone.

(b) Speed of response - [my score:5] On the 2nd day, I asked for 2 extra pillows for my aunt and myself. After 45 minutes nothing came, so I called again and the operator apologised and assured me that it would be arriving soon. When I put down my phone and went outside, I bumped into my room attendant, "Fox" and told him I called housekeeping etc. He told me that he would get on it right away, and true enough he returned with 2 pillows faster than the Flash!

(c) Staff friendliness - [my score:6] Besides the guest relations and housekeeping staff, other staff were also smiling and ever ready to greet guests (also sometimes I would be the first to greet the staff rather than the other way around).

(d) Helpfulness and sensitivity to guests' needs - [my score:6] My room attendant, "Fox", was a very warm and courteous man who not only made sure that the room was clean and properly made up, but also arranges special patterns (e.g. swan, snowman) with the towels and puts them on the bed to surprise guests! My parents and I loved these little gestures, especially the nightly chocolate mints placed on the pillows for us. Guest relations officers were a little mechanical, but helpful nonetheless.

Accommodation
(a) Overall comfort - [my score:3] I stayed in a twin-sharing ocean view stateroom which had a porthole window. The level of comfort I experienced was comparable to a 3-star hotel. The beds were relatively small and not firm (old spring mattress), and the pillows were too soft. What I disliked most about the room was the air-conditioning - I could not feel cool when I adjusted to the lowest temperature setting, and the air temperature along the balcony was actually lower than in the room. One of the light switches were faulty. However, the bedlinen and towels were of superior quality. I liked that the TV was placed on an extendable frame that could be adjusted to turn at a 45 degree angle so you can watch it on the bed or on the sofa couch.

(b) Helpfulness and sensitivity to guests' needs (including for those with disabilities) - [my score:3] the wardrobe had ample clothing-hangers and space. The dressing table and side table had lots of drawers and cabinets to put clothing etc even though some of them needed to be lubricated because they were difficult to open. A hair-dryer was available but mine didnt seem to be working; the kettle was extremely efficient but relatively small. However, the room was small and basic toiletries (e.g. toothbrush) were not provided, and mineral water was not given free of charge (unlike in Star Cruises).

(c) Cleanliness - [my score:3] the room was acceptably clean in general but there were areas which could be improved e.g. the window ledge was dusty, and the toilet towl, sink and vanity top, shower cubicle and floor was not cleaned thoroughly. I suspect that the sheets and pillow cases were not changed daily. The cups were not washed thoroughly as well. The walls, decorative cushions (which the room attendant placed on our beds!) and sofa couch were also rather dirty.

(d) Size - [my score:2] the shower area was so small that I constantly hit my elbows against the walls when soaping myself: I got so fed-up that in the mornings I preferred to take my shower in the spacious showers at the Men's room in the spa. I had to move the coffee-table up against the wall to make space for walking. If the detachable single beds were configured to be a single queen bed, an average American person would have difficulties walking along the sides of the bed without turning sideways, his back pressing against the wall.

(e) Amenities - [my score:2] only 2 bars of soap were given for 3 nights' stay, and there was no bath foam, toothbrush/paste, shower cap, shoe-horns, slippers or bathrobes. Facial tissue paper must be taken from the bathroom. The complimentary tea and coffee were not replenished daily, and there were no welcome fruit basket etc (probably because we were not staying in a suite). The white bath, face/hair and hand towels were made of soft, good quality material but some were stained. The water from the room tasted funny even after it was boiled - twice.

Ship facilities, Shopping and Activities
(a) Variety of choices - [my score:4] you could buy a wide variety of goods in their shops - ranging from fashionable clothes to essentials like swimwear, underwear and socks; from cuddly toys to latest book titles; from beautiful jewellery and perfumes to rare wines and liquors, cigars and tobacco; from sinful chocolates to creams, medicines and vitamins. Some were even offered at great bargains. The sales service could be improved, though: the staff failed to deliver the right quantity of liquor that I bought at the shop, and the sales staff didnt provide good product information even when approached. In terms of activities, there was nearly something for everyone from the very young to the very old - rock climbing and miniature golf tournaments, line dancing sessions, table-tennis, yoga, origami, mahjong and various card and board games, electronic arcade games and bingo. I especially enjoyed the gym and spa (steam and sauna) facilities, but I felt that the jacuzzi and pools could be bigger. The large lounge/discos (Anchors Aweigh and Crown Vista) had plenty of tables and seats but these facilities were usually under-utilized. The casino was small and had relatively few tables and slot machines; the staff were also not very patient or friendly.

(b) Cleanliness and maintenance - [my score:5] Facilities on board the ship were quite well-maintained. I could see cleaning staff working tirelessly round the clock at the public-area toilets, stairways and practically everywhere, cleaning and repairing light bulbs etc. However, the "grass" carpets at its miniature golf course were quite worn-out, and the puts were rusty or damaged.

(c) Aesthetics and design - [my score:6] I liked the interior decor on board Legend of the Seas. One feature I noticed was the amazing works of art on display everywhere and the statues and potted plants placed strategically around the public areas - I felt I was in a museum or art gallery! Information about the layout of the ship could be found on all lift lobbies so directionally challenged individuals (like me) could navigate effortlessly around the ship unassisted, but staff seemed ever ready to give directions if required.

(d) Quality of Entertainment (i.e. whether enjoyable) - [my score:6] If there is one thing I enjoyed most about this trip, it would have to be the evening "live" performances. On the 1st night, the Royal Caribbean singers and dancers put together an interesting programme combining popular songs from the 50s to the 90s accommpanied by professionally choreographed dancing. Guests were treated to a magic show on the 2nd night, which was entertaining for both children and adults. The best performance was reserved for the last night, when Ilia and Valerie, the acrobatic couple (and their 4-year old son) performed a sequence of amazing acrobatic moves. Ilia, a Russian, had such a chiselled, toned, tanned and muscular figure that he appeared more like an personal trainer/model/actor than an acrobat. His wife Valerie, a French woman, was tall and beautiful like a model, graceful like a ballerina and agile (their opening act was body contortion in which Valerie was pulled out from a luggage bag). I was fortunate to be chosen by Ilia to go on stage to participate in their second act, in which Valerie changed rapidly into a series of evening gowns in front of the audience and me and pretended to "wed" me - I was told to walk out on stage with a baby doll after a brief moment backstage to the comical delight of the audience (see the youTube clip embedded below). Besides the main evening entertainment, there were live music performances all day, free Ben and Jerry's ice-cream in the afternoons. At midnight on the 3rd day, an engaging performance was put up by the Cruise Director and his staff with a rock and roll theme, in which they sang and danced with the guests at the centrium area - they ran from deck to deck to encourage shy guests to let down their hair and join in the fun.

On-Shore Excursions
(a) Speed of processing embarkation/ disembarkation - [my score:6] In spite of overwhelming demand to disembark for the Penang excursion, the crew managed to allow the guests to disembark within minutes of tendering. Re-boarding was also hassle-free and efficiently managed.

(b) Variety of choices (i.e. provision of a range of programmes to suit different needs) - [my score:3] according to the shore excursion programme sheet, about 3 package options were available for guests to choose from, but there was little flexibility for guests to customize these packages to suit their needs as they needed to adhere strictly to the itineraries. On the other hand, guests could choose to go free and easy but these were entirely at their own expense and little assistance were given.

(c) Land Transportation - [my score:1] RCL did not charter shuttle buses to ferry guests between the port and the city center or designated tourist areas. In contrast, SuperStar Virgo provided shuttle bus services and timings were also made known to guests to facilitate their own itinerary planning.

On the whole, I had a good cruising experience on board the Legend of the Seas. Normally I found cruises rather boring, but on this trip I never had a dull moment. Most of all I got time to spend with my parents, which was itself a luxury because of my busy work schedule. My aunt, my parents and I had fun playing card games and UNO while waiting for dinner, and the fine dining experience was quite enjoyable. My mum and I unexpectedly bumped into familiar faces on this cruise - she bumped into her primary schoolmate, while I ran into 2 former colleagues. My trip left me some fond memories (my first stage debut, for instance), which shall be cherished dearly.

16th entry - Legend of the Seas (Part 2)

2008-12-22T11:43:00.005+08:00

(Continued from Part 1)
My own simple (and untested) customer satisfaction scale measures 7 items representing aspects of a cruise experience; each item is calibrated on a 6-point semantic differential scale (i.e. 1 for least satisfied to 6 for most satisfied):
1) Embarkation/disembarkation process - (a) Orderliness (systematic), (b) Speed (efficiency)
2) On-board Dining - (a) Freshness of food, (b) Quantity of food, (c) Taste of cooking, (d) Variety of dishes and beverages on menu, (e) Ambience of Dining Area, (f) Service of Head Waiter, Waiter and Assistant Waiter
3) Information dissemination - (a) Comprehensiveness (covering all essential aspects of the cruise experience, including safety, directions), (b) Timeliness (not just without delay but ample enough for guests' decision making), (c) Simplicity (easy even for "intellectually challenged" persons to read/understand)
4) Guest Relations, Room Service, Housekeeping - (a) Ease of access, (b) Speed of response, (c) Staff friendliness, (d) Helpfulness and sensitivity to guests' needs (including for those with disabilities),
5) Accommodation - (a) Overall comfort, (b) Helpfulness and sensitivity to guests' needs (including for those with disabilities), (c) Cleanliness, (d) Size, (e) Amenities
6) Facilities, Shopping and Activities - (a) Variety of choices, (b) Cleanliness and maintenance (assumption: guests will be less satisfied using many poorly maintained facilities than using a few well-maintained ones), (c) Aesthetics and design, (d) Quality of Entertainment (i.e. whether enjoyable)
7) On-Shore Excursions - (a) Speed of processing embarkation/ disembarkation, (b) Variety of choices (i.e. provision of a range of programmes to suit different needs), (c) Land Transportation

Embarkation/disembarkation process
(a) Orderliness (systematic) - [my score:5] On arrival at the Harbourfront Cruise Center, there are clear signages and many personnel guiding and assisting guests to check-in. We received a queue number and was told to board when our number was called. As expected, there were many "kiasu" people who crowded around at the boarding area; for further improvement, some staff could be deployed to do "traffic control" e.g. by gathering guests with the same queue number and making them assemble at designated areas. The checking-out was very systematic as well. I liked the fact that guests could leave anytime after breakfast because passports were collected the night before and all the billing etc was also settled earlier. This meant the avoidance of long and stressful waiting time and unpleasant queuing because guests could leave comfortably on their own timing.

(b) Speed (efficiency) - [my score:6] Due to the orderliness of the process, I was quite happy with how fast I could check-in and out of the ship. We took only about 45 minutes to board and 15 minutes to check-out (including a few minutes of photo taking). The immigration clearance was quite fast as well.

On-Board Dining
(a) Freshness of food - [my score:5] except for boiled wontons that were not fresh at the buffet dinner for 2 consecutive nights, everything else was fresh. The only problem was that the food is prepared many hours in advance so some food items such as bread, cake and cheese were a little dry.

(b) Quantity of food - [my score:5] except for the delicious chicken satay (spicy BBQ meat on bamboo skewers) that perpetually ran out at the buffet lunch on the 3rd day, there was more than ample food throughout the trip. I put on at least 2 kgs after the trip ...

(c) Taste of cooking - [my score:4] On Captain's Night at Romeo and Juliet (the fine dining restaurant), I was treated to a delicious escargot appetizer which was firm but not too chewy, and the butter sauce was fragrant yet light; it really made me look forward to the main course, which was also very satisfying. My beef steak was probably the best I had ever eaten in my life up to now (although I must admit that I have never taken a lot steak in the past) - it was so tender that it practically melted in my mouth, and the sauce was flavourful and tasty but not too salty. The turkey that I took for the 3rd night was also amazingly juicy, and the accommpanying cranberry sauce blended perfectly with the gravy and the meat.
Some of the desserts, like the B52 dessert and banana souffle, were absolutely divine! The B52 dessert was a marvel of culinary skill - I was able to taste 3 distinct layers starting with the light buttery crust, followed by the fragrant vanilla egg custard just beneath the crust, and ending with a rich chocolate sauce that oozed out from the centre of the cake.
The frozen banana souffle was another surprising creation. It looked like banana mousse but its texture was actually closer to bread pudding, and drops of clear golden syrup flows out as the fork penetrates the fluffy upper strata, revealing a light yellow inner strata that melts away in the mouth, leaving the characteristic banana flavour lingering on almost mysteriously.

Sadly, my parents and aunt were not so fortunate. My aunt's sea bass and pan-seared salmon for the first 2 consecutive nights were dry and totally bland, and her tomato pasta on the 3rd night tasted as though it came out of a can or microwave-heated TV-dinner. My parents and I felt that the Asian dishes were not authentic in spite of Asian (Chinese and Indian) chefs being on board (can you imagine sake sushi using smoked Norweigian salmon, and tom yum soup that is neither spicy nor sour?), and after the first day I completely avoided such dishes (except the satay, which was acceptable). Some disgruntled Indian guests were so unhappy with their food that they even complained to the chef at the buffet lunch on the 3rd day and made a scene right in the middle of the Windjammer's Cafe (the buffet restaurant).

(d) Variety of dishes and beverages - [my score:6] Compared to Star Cruises, the variety of western food on RCL is considerably better. The fine dining dinner menus offered 5 appetizers, main courses and desserts that change daily in addition to a another 3-4 "staples". Many of the dishes were not only unique but also well-prepared, showing the chef's creativity and skill. When it came to Asian cuisine, however, the variety was deplorably limited. I can almost always see the same old curries used in the Indian food (and only 2-4 types) at the buffet; there are no Chinese or Japanese restaurants and totally no Japanese food served at the only 2 restaurants (except the fusion sushi at the buffet dinner on the first night). The wine and liquor list is quite limited although one is able to sample some rarer labels. In contrast, SuperStar Virgo and Leo have 6 restaurants each, plus cafes that serve all sorts of cuisine. RCL's cocktails are quite good, though. My mum had a mixed fruit Mai Tai which she enjoyed.

(e) Ambience in Dining Area - [my score:4] In terms of layout, I think the buffet restaurant was quite cramped and empty tables in the air-conditioned area during lunchtime are quite difficult to find. People were always overflowing into the poolside tables outside, where it is less comfortable. However, their gingerbread house centerpiece, numerous fruit carvings and decor appeared very aesthetically pleasing, and the Christmas theme was present to give a warm festive atmosphere but to the extent of being overwhelming. The buffet area was also not as "canteen"-like as SuperStar Virgo/Leo's; I really felt that I was dining at a buffet restaurant in a 4-star hotel, complete with napkins (not serviettes) but minus the usual table service. The equally cramped fine dining restaurant had modern European decor with complimentary dining cutlery (e.g. industrial stainless steel salt and pepper shakers with matching butter bowls, sugar jars and even escargot plates) yet interestingly the chairs appeared to be more classic than modern - rather out of place. A plus point is that both restaurants had wide ceiling-to-floor windows that provided diners with a panoramic views of the ocean as they dined, but you needed to be sitting near the windows during the day to enjoy it.

(f) Service of Head Waiter, Waiter and Assistant Waiter - [my score:5] Besides being friendly and polite, the young, pretty Waiter at the fine dining restaurant and her equally young, cute assistant, were also knowledgeable and candid in recommending the food choices. Being Chinese nationals, they tried their best to introduce the dishes in English and were always sensitive to the needs of the guests and very eager to please. What they lacked in terms of experience and finesse they made up for in terms of sincerity (ok, at least they were good actors). I didnt see the Head Waiter at all except on the first and last night (only for a brief minute or two) but I suppose he was busy attending to other tables or affairs. To the delight of many guests, on the 3rd night many of the staff gave a commendable song performance "Its Now or Never" in Italian. Over at the buffet restaurant, service was a little slow during the crowded breakfast times (in terms of clearing the plates and replenishing nearly empty trays of food), and most of the Asian staff appeared to be poorly trained.

Continued in Part 3... (sorry this is a LONG piece!)

15th entry - Legend of the Seas (Part 1)

2008-12-18T16:45:00.007+08:00

My parents and an aunt are taking a cruise on board Royal Caribbean Line's Legend of the Seas this weekend. Over the next 4 days and 3 nights, we would be sailing on the high seas to Penang and Port Klang, experiencing the luxury of a 4-star hotel, with fine dining and a wide spread of international cuisine, and enjoying refreshing sea breeze and fabulous views of the Straits of Malacca... or so we are led to believe.

It was a last minute decision by my dad to try this liner. Costing nearly $700 per person (including taxes and pre-paid tipping - which just doesnt seem right in principle - shouldnt we be giving gratuities if we feel that service is good, rather than assuming that it will be so, and pre-paying according rates determined not by us but by the service provider?! Anyway...), the trip seemed a little expensive. A similar cruise on board Star Cruises would cost only $500 per person (for the same type of room we got, which was the stateroom with window at the lower deck). Sometimes there are even discounts, and off peak rates are also lower. The million dollar question in my head - is it value for money?

The representative of the agency selling RCL cruises in Singapore boasted that most customers who went for both Star Cruises and RCL tours preferred the latter. This was hardly reassuring and certainly not convincing because I have a low opinion of Star Cruises. I sailed on board Superstar Leo, Virgo (twice) and Gemini some years back and I felt that the food quality was mediocre and the menus were repeated for meals within the same day and throughout the trip so we hardly got to eat anything new; the service personnel were not quite as friendly or helpful (most didnt even speak proper English) and the room amenities and facilities were old and not well-maintained (there were stains on the old sofa and the stench that it was giving out was quite unpleasant; all sorts of stuff were floating in the pool, which was hardly used, for good reasons).

Surfing online, I discovered that many patrons of RCL (Legend of the Seas in particular) left their comments on cruise websites. Some reviews by professionals and guests were good, but on the whole I felt that the cruise experiences were mixed depending on where you embarked, so I gather that the standard of service delivery is quite inconsistent for this liner. One really bad review (the only one coming from a customer who embarked from Singapore) caught my eye. Fortunately, this customer who complained about the service and room appeared to be one who gets pampered on luxury travels and had really high expectations, so she was disappointed when many things didnt go smoothly (e.g. long waiting times during embarkation and disembarkation etc). I just hope that the service level has improved since then, and there are enough systems in place to ensure that staff knew what to do when things went wrong.

Having good systems and frameworks in place are important, but unless precision robots are delivering the service or staff are so well-trained that they can deliver the service consistently even under the most adverse conditions (like in an earthquake), hiccups are inevitable because of human factors. Good service recovery is just as important as good service delivery because people tend to remember bad incidents that they had to suffer during a bad experience and expect remedial action to be taken by the service provider. What's really important is how service personnel (especially the frontline managers) deal with the problems to provide effective service recovery.

I've developed a simple scale to measure the delivery and recovery standard on this cruise, which I will test on my trip.

(To be Continued ...)

14th entry - Beauty Tips

2008-12-06T16:19:00.006+08:00

Recently I was attending a series of seminars on beauty and health, organised by Nature's Farm at Suntec City. As expected, the main aim of the seminars were to educate participants about the benefits of Nature's Farm products on improving skincare and general health and well-being. Two of the main "ingredients" of both beauty and health are pycnogenol and pro-biotics.

Pycnogenol is touted as one of the best anti-oxidants in the world right now. Made from the bark of the French Maritime Pine Tree (pinus maritima), this supposedly natural product reportedly has an antioxidant action that is more than 100 times more powerful than Vitamin C and E, and 16 times more active than grapeseed extracts. From the official website, I learnt that the pycnogenol extract has four basic properties – antioxidant (fights free radicals that cause aging and cancer), anti-inflammation (both internally when consumed and externally when applied topically), selective binding to collagen and elastin (to make skin firmer and reduce fine lines/ wrinkles), and helps to produce endothelial nitric oxide which helps to vasodilate blood vessels (improving circulation). When applied to the skin and absorbed, it apparently helps to reduce the harmful effects of UV radiation from the sun.

Probiotics are friendly bacteria that help our body to digest food effectively. Such bacteria fall into 2 groups, Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium, with different species and strains within each group (e.g. Lactobacillus acidophilus). Specific probiotic formulations are used to treat diarrhoea and irritable bowel syndrome, to prevent and treat urinary tract infections. For most people, introducing live probiotics into our gastrointestinal system reportedly helps our bodies to maintain an effective immune system and fight diseases, and aids digestion and absorption of food and nutrients which is important for general health and well-being. It is important to consume the probiotics in the proper manner i.e. in freeze-dried capsule form, taken after/with meals to ensure that the bacteria are viable ("alive") even after passing through our gastric system till it reaches the intestines to colonize them. I am currently taking Kyo-Dophilus, which is freeze-dried and does not require refrigeration (which is apparently ideal because moisture "activates" the bacteria, and they would die quickly unless consumed immediately).

An "independent" website known as "Smart Skin Care" containing various information on skincare and beauty stated that:

You cannot build a house without a solid foundation. You cannot prepare a soldier without basic training. And you cannot, or at least you should not, embark on a sophisticated skin rejuvenation program without getting the basics right. In fact, neglecting the basics is almost guaranteed to make the rest of your skin care program far less effective.

While I do not believe that all of us need to take pycnogenol, I feel that to be beautiful and healthy, it is important to take care of what is inside our body instead of focussing only on what is skin-deep, and make adjustments to our lifestyle e.g. drink more water, sleep well, eat fresh and healthful food, protect our bodies from harmful elements, exercise regularly etc. We should pay attention to what we eat and what we put on our skin. As the "Smart Skin Care" website also states,

An optimal skin care product should contain one or more active ingredients in an effective concentration. Its inactive ingredients should not interfere with the active ones and, whenever required, should provide safe and adequate preservation, stabilization and delivery into the skin. Also, all ingredients should lack significant potential to cause skin damage.

Check out the Smart Skin Care website for more information on how to look beautiful.

13th entry - Japanese Kimono

2008-11-13T13:33:00.004+08:00

For as long as I can remember, I have always been fascinated with Japanese culture both old and new...

From the pink cherry blossom
(sakura) in Spring and Hokkaido lavender fields in Summer, to the crimson Japanese maple leaves in Autumn and snow-frosted juniper bonsai in Winter.

From sushi (rice) and sashimi (raw food) to takoyaki (octopus balls) and okonomiyaki (pancake with egg, vegetables and tons of bonito flakes) to ebi tempura (deep-fried prawn or shrimp) and cha soba (green-tea infused into buckwheat noodles)

From geisha strumming their shamizen (3-string lute) or koto (Jap zither) and performing fan/umbrella dances to samurai/ninja killing each other with katana (Jap sword)/shuriken (throwing knives)

From Japanese anime to TV drama/variety shows

From trendy J-pop/rock (e.g. Ayumi Hamazaki) and Cos-play to traditional enka and Jap classical tunes and kimono

I also love the woody decor of country-side, traditional Jap houses with tatami mats and sliding doors, and best of all the hot spring baths or onzens

Among the items mentioned above, I am most fascinated with the elegant kimono, the iconic traditional clothing (wafuku) of the Japanese people.

Kimono dates back to 800AD, but as I learnt from several websites, Japanese people have gradually simplified and adapted its style and design through the years. The kimono known to have remained till today was developed during the Edo period (1600-1868) - consisting of a number of robes secured finally with a sash (obi). A typical woman's kimono consists of twelve or more separate pieces that are worn, matched and secured in prescribed ways (apparently having symbolic meanings). There are also different kimono for different important occasions or stages in a woman's life:

1) Furisode - Young girls and unmarried women wear this type of kimono, featuring long sleeves that sometimes reach the ankles and appearing in vibrant colors rich with patterns. Both traditional silk fabrics as well as polyester are popular but the latter is much more afforable.

2) Tomesode - Elderly women or those who have married, wear this kimono with shorter sleeves. Designs are more elegant, and tones more muted. Variations of tomesode are worn for different occasions: the Houmongi (訪問着), a formal attire usually for attending weddings or parties; the Kurotomesode (黒留袖), the most formal dress worn only by mothers at their childrens' weddings; and the Iromuji (色無地), a mono-chrome dress worn for tea ceremonies (Chado/Sado) and flower-arrangement classes (Ikebana).

3) Yukata - made of cotton-fabric, this form is often worn in Summer and tend to be more brightly colored and come in short sleeves. Japanese hotels sometimes offer the cheaper (thinner) versions as gifts for their guests, and they come in especially handy for visiting onsens.

4) Mofuku - an all-black kimono worn at funerals

5) Uchikake - the wedding silk kimono is an extremely long and ornate robe, usually with auspicious motifs and heavy brocade. An obi is not tied around this kimono as it is meant to be an overcoat.

6) Susohiki (or Hikizuri) - worn by geisha or by stage performers of traditional Japanese dances. This kimono is the longest of all and the skirt is supposed to trail along the floor (Susohiki literally means "trail the skirt"). A normal kimono for women is normally 1,5-1,6 m or 4,7-5,2 ft long, while a susohiki can be up to 2 m or 6,3 ft long.

For more information:
Wikipedia offers great insight into the different types of kimono and associated garments.
Japan Zone offers a nice pictorial history and other useful information about the kimono.
Japan Lifestyle and Go Japan also offer information on other aspects of Japanese culture.

Hope

2008-11-11T13:41:00.005+08:00

After writing about the suffering I experienced from chicken pox, I reflected further and realised that my pain was really nothing compared to what many others have to endure for much longer periods. Like...

1) People with cancer, AIDS and other chronic illnesses who are battling within their bodies a real and intense physical agony, ten or perhaps hundreds of times worse than mine, and trying to overcome the psychological fear of dying anytime, losing everything precious to them...

2) People facing daily acts of violence, persecution and harassment due to systematic gender/ racial/ religious/ ethnic discrimination, or war/terrorism or even crime, who live in constant fear of what would come their way...

3) People whose children or loved ones are missing for days, followed by months and then years, waiting for the tiniest bit of news of their loved ones' whereabouts - or at least of their confirmed deaths - and even entertaining cruel prank calls or cheats trying to take advantage of their plight...

Perhaps the worse of the lot above are those without any Hope. For someone without Hope, being alive would be worse than being dead. In the anime, Jigoku Shoujo (Hell Girl), many who are living in a state of despair seek to be avenged from those wronged them, but they know they will eventually pay the price by also being sent to hell when they die eventually.

In the anime Snow Queen, the lead character Gerda discovered in her adventures that it was important to have Hope. She met a little girl suffering from a chronic illness, and wanted to help her get well. The girl's mother already lost hope after hearing the doctor say that the girl's days were numbered; of course, the girl didnt know that she was dying, as her mother had no heart to tell her the truth.

One day the girl told Gerda that she had planted some snow peas in a planter box and wanted to see them sprout in Spring. She said her mother told her that in Spring little shoots would emerge from the soil, and she loved to see snow peas grow and pop in Autumn as they ripen. Little did she know that the peas that she had planted were cooked, and her mother had lied to her to give her something to look forward to.

In order not to disappoint the little girl, Gerda searched high and low for live snow peas and planted them secretly in the same planter box. As the snow of Winter melted, little snow pea shoots sprouted from the planter box, and the little girl began to miraculously recover as well. Her mother who didnt know what Gerda did also thought it was a miracle and found new hope and strength to continue taking care of her daughter.

Indeed, Hope is very powerful. I personally believe it is a gift from God to help us overcome our problems in life. The saying goes, "All is lost without hope." Of course, hope can be abused as well. For instance, the chronic gambling addicts are deceived by a false sense of "hope" to continually lose their hard-earned money to the casinos. Members of doomsday cults and extremist-terrorist groups are misguided by twisted-minded leaders of a "hope" of a better tomorrow once their enemies are eradicated. A perhaps less negative example is the "miracles" that beauty products and exotic health supplements promise to give anyone who consume them, albeit at ridiculous prices. These examples exploit human weaknesses (greed/ vanity/ ignorance) and use false Hope as a disguise to lure the guileless.

I truly believe that genuine Hope can make our lives better. Without Hope, man could never have built airplanes or invented electricity. Many life-saving medicines and medical treatments would never be discovered. Without Hope, many people would have chosen to end their lives in desperation, pain and sorrow. If I can choose between Hope and the world's riches, I would choose Hope. With Hope, I know I can be happy, but I might not necessarily be happy if I owned all the wealth in the world.

Suffering

2008-11-09T11:44:00.003+08:00

Day 6 of November in the Year 2008.

This date will be forever etched in my memory for years to come. It is the day I was diagnosed with the dreaded chicken pox and had to be away from the office for 3 weeks.

I didnt know who I contracted chicken pox from but it must be from a public place because none of family members had suffered from it recently. I didnt even confirm that I had the pox initially because the symptoms took a long time to show.

The first mysterious papule (the water-filled blister characteristic of chicken pox) appeared on my back about a week before my diagnosis, and then it vanished. I thought it was a boil or insect bite and thought nothing of it. A few days later a few more papules appeared on my forearm, underarm, face, chest, and shoulders. I was having fever by 5 Nov but I still went back to work. Even my colleagues couldnt confirm that what I got was chicken pox. But that night when I got home I was getting severe chills and feeling very uncomfortable.

The next day I went to see the doctor. I was told that my case was quite rare, perhaps a sub-clinical form, which means I had the pox before so symptoms are less obvious. I was quite ok after taking paracetemol 500mg and I even declined the anti-viral medication, thinking my case was probably not severe.

The next morning I nearly died of fright when I looked in the mirror. My entire face and scalp was swollen with large papules and my shoulders appeared inflamed with red rash. It was as though I had been severely burnt or stung by fire ants. The following day was worse - thousands of tiny papules have formed in the centres of all the red patches that showed up the day before. My face had pus oozing out from the papules and I looked like I was a wart-covered toad or monster from a horror film. As I was washing my face, I think to myself: is this really my face that I am touching?! My face and body was unrecognizable. I didnt dare to imagine what will happen after I recover... No amount of facial treatment will work.

I felt so depressed. I wasnt able to eat as well because the gargle the doctor gave me to treat my blister on my gum had numbed my tongue; I think the fever also affected my tasting ability. Even with the anti-histamine medication I took, the sores prevented me from sleeping well and I was exhausted. I couldnt sleep well in the day either because the sores were so painful when I lie down on any surface. My right eye was red because one papule had appeared on my lower eyelid and irritated it.

I am not sure whether the worst is over or yet to come, but on Sunday 9 Nov the papules had spread to my entire torso (although not as compact as those on my shoulder, neck and face), legs, even my palm and fingers. It was really awful. The fever came on and off, making it worse because I tried not to wear any clothing so as not to irritate the sores but I felt cold when the fever returned.

To prevent myself from thinking about the discomfort and pass time, I started watching 雪の女王 The Snow Queen, a heartwarming Japanese anime about a brave girl's journey to look for her closest childhood friend and the amazing adventures that she had along the way. In one of the episodes, the Snow Queen made this comment, which struck a chord in my heart by the way it related to my situation:

"Only those who bore the cruel Winter truly know the joy of Spring..."

From one perspective, my suffering made me realise that I had been taking my health for granted and neglected to give my body enough rest and proper nutrition. After my suffering I would appreciate and cherish my body and health more. It also applied to many things that we took for granted in life and the occasional suffering or setback that we had to endure would remind us of what we lost, so that when/if we regained them then we would appreciate them more than when we first had them.

Fortunately my parents and 2 maternal aunts who are close to me have been taking care of me during this time. My other half, S, and other close frens have also been concerned and caring. I was glad that S came over on 6 Nov instead of the next day when more papules appeared, as I think S would have died of fright as well. I am eternally grateful to them for their love and I will definitely cherish them more now. Besides my loved ones, I am also thankful to God for seeing me through this rough patch. Hopefully my ordeal will be over soon, and I can look back at this experience and say "I've conquered!" For we are more than conquerers in Christ Jesus! Amen!

10th entry - Looking and Being Beautiful (Part 2)

2008-11-04T09:45:00.008+08:00

And then all this media exposure about how we owe it to ourselves to look beautiful ("Because you are worth it") and how we can do achieve this by spending our hard-earned money on beauty products, actually got me guilty and concerned about how little attention I was paying to my appearance. Suddenly I began to notice the blackheads, blemishes and other skin problems - not only on myself but on others as well.

When I stepped into the cosmetics section of a department store one fateful evening in the middle of Year 2001, I never anticipated that my venture would have had such a lasting impact on my perspective towards beauty. My first investment on skincare products cost me nearly $100 in a single purchase (I still remember the brand - Biotherm
), when the most I would normally spend on an off-the-shelf facial cleanser in the past was between $2.20 to $2.60 (depending on where I bought it and whether a sale was on). I was convinced then that I was spending good money on quality products that were better for my skin.

Well, I still didnt know whether what I bought improved my complexion as promised, because I was ruining whatever positive effects I received from the product by my exposure to the sun and chlorine whenever I went swimming. Over the years, the only clearly visible trend has not been improvement in my skin condition; instead, it has been an ever increasing expenditure on skincare. From Israeli brands like Ahava to European brands like Nivea and
L'Occitane en Provence, and Body Shop, as well as an upcoming Singapore brand O2 Skin. Buying the more expensive products made me "feel" good using them because I think that I am pampering myself with good quality products. But is it always true that the more expensive brands or products are necessarily better than cheaper ones?

It really depends. For instance, one of my favourite brands is Aloe 80 Organics, which does not contain artificial coloring, preservatives and fragrances. Most of its products are made of organic Aloe Vera, a miracle plant with 18 amino acids, plus Vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B6, C, and E. Aloe also contains minerals such as sodium, potassium, calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, and chloride, traces of magnesium and zinc as well as many naturally-occurring vitamins. More importantly Aloe is filled with Aloe Polysaccharides which are the naturally occurring active components that promote absorption, digestive health, immune qualities, anti-inflammatory and overall health benefits. More information can be found in articles like The Healing Power of Aloe. I am a firm believer of the benefits of Aloe (both for beauty and general health) because a friend's dad diagnosed with colorectal cancer was healed after consuming Aloe gel. Aloe 80 Organics and Lily of the Dessert products do not come cheap, but the proven benefits of the products convinced me that they are worth every penny I spend on them.

On the other hand, sometimes cheap stuff can be really good as well. Take the ordinary Tomato.
It contains lycopene and carotenoids
, which eliminate the harmful effects of free radicals that cause oxidation of cells/DNA, thereby reducing the risk of cancer and aging. I watched a korean documentary on TV featuring the health benefits of tomato, and was amazed by how wonderful a cheap, commonly found fruit (or vegetable) can be. The Centenarians in Southern Italty attribute their longevity to consumption of large amounts of ripe tomato with olive oil in their daily diet. Tomato and olive oil are apparently complimentary - nutritionists claim that cooked ripe tomatoes in olive oil give four times the health benefits than uncooked ripe tomatoes alone, because olive oil (which has health benefits on its own) helps our bodies to absorb better. A meal of tomato cooked in olive oil and pasta costs only at most SGD3.00 if you buy all the ingredients, make it yourself and eat it at home, and not more than SGD20.00 if a chef prepares it for you in a restaurant with a nice ambience where you can dine in luxury.

My point is, looking good and being beautiful does not always come with a price tag. Besides, only a small fraction of the price we pay for expensive cosmetics and beauty products actually go into the product itself. What we are actually paying for are the stuff we cannot use but deceive us into "feeling" good about buying the products - the Packaging. An article from The Independent implied that beauty products sell because of the large investment by manufacturers and marketing distributors on advertising and packaging:

The cosmetics packaging industry was worth £6.7bn to manufacturers worldwide in 2005 and is tipped to grow by more than 10 per cent to £7.5bn by 2009. Nearly two-thirds of all cosmetics packaging is made from plastic, with around one-fifth made from paper. Figures from Lush, a soap maker and cosmetics company that shuns packaging, show that packaging often makes up more than 80 per cent of a product's total weight. Mark Constantine, Lush's founder, said: "Packaging is unnecessary, bad for the environment and uneconomic. If you get rid of it, then manufacturers will have more money to spend on the content and you get more product."
- The Independent, 13 April 2008.

Doesnt it seem illogical to be spending so much money to make ourselves "feel" good? If we spend a few minutes each day to tell ourselves in front of the mirror that "I AM BEAUTIFUL!", our self esteem will receive a big boost and we will be confident and ready to take on the challenges of the world. And its absolutely free!

9th entry - Looking and Being Beautiful (Part 1)

2008-11-01T14:16:00.010+08:00

"If you think you are beautiful, you will be beautiful."
- tagline for TV commercial -

For someone who believes that Beauty is more than skin deep, I have become increasingly particular about the skincare products I use on my hair, face and body, and also more interested in skincare knowledge.

Although I hold firmly to the belief that human kindness, discipline, diligence, sense of morality and justice (what I consider to be "inner beauty"), I have always appreciated aesthetic beauty in the form of good looks and physique, natural landscapes and various works of art/design. In my younger days, I spent more of my time consciously pursuing the former. Honestly, when I look back, I think my rationale was more to please others and to be accepted by those around me, than to do what I think is "right". My "character building" activities included attending church, standing up for what I think is "right", being filial towards my parents and doing volunteering work.

As my life experience grows, I start to realise that I am no longer consciously pursuing these things. This is not to say that I am satisfied with whatever I have achieved or moulded through "character building" - there is plenty of room for improvement. I'm glad that I had a solid foundation, without which I would not have a good anchor in a society where moral standards keep shifting and people say "nothing is absolute and everything is relative". In my daily life I do reflect on my deeds and misdeeds and ponder over what I see or experience to make sure that I do not get sidetracked or lose my sense of direction.

In school I was conscious about my appearance, not so much because of vanity as because of peer pressure. Simply put, geeks or "country-bumpkins" were not acceptable by the standards upheld by teens - being "hip" or trendy was a pre-requisite to popularity and happiness as I knew it.

During my army days, the importance of a neat and well-groomed appearance was underscored by periodic disciplinary enforcement in the form of "extra duties" or punishment that the Regimental Sergeant Major meted out to all the enlisted national servicemen. The message was clear: either you cut your hair short or you will have your precious weekends cut short.

When I attended business school at university, I learnt that a professional image leaves a good impression and is a key ingredient to success. Image is especially pertinent in sales and marketing, which I specialised in. I always knew which of my schoolmates had project presentations on a particular day because a group of them would be clad in color-coordinated business attire, huddling around a laptop, with a stack of papers (presumably scripts or presentation notes) in their hands.

Where I am working now, good appearance compliments actual performance and ability (not only to meet or exceed work targets but also to get along with bosses and colleagues). Although I dont meet clients or attend external meetings very often, colleagues tend to make comparisons and gossip about how others dress up in the office, and I noticed that the better-looking ones tend to be get ahead in the corporate jungle.

(continued in Part 2)

8th entry - Studio Ghibli

2008-10-14T18:49:00.006+08:00

My love for Japanese anime started way back when I was growing up in the 1980s. In my younger days I enjoyed the quirky adventures of Doraemon and his friends. When I started attending school, I began to watch less cartoons and read more books, so I kinda lost touch with cartoons, watching only occasionally like during festive holidays. However, it wasn't till I was 16 that I re-discovered my interest in animations.

I was on a trip to Hong Kong with a friend, and I put up at his residence. I still remembered that he was so excited to share the animation with me. Not knowing that the movie was titled Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (風の谷のナウシカ - Kaze no tani no Naushika), I was facinated by the vivid colours and lively movement of the characters and their facial expressions, which was so different from the stylised and often comical manga-type expressions in mainstream Jap animations. The storyline has greater depth and meaning than any of the animations that I had watched then. I had little idea that the director of the animation was so famous and that he made so many films, some of which I had watched on TV but I didnt even realise it.

It was only when I started working that I met colleagues who were fans of Jap anime, who explained to me what Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki were about. I began searching for the collection of animations, and to my pleasant surprise I realised that many DVD/CD shops carried relatively complete sets of Studio Ghibli anime. I bought one set (at a bargain price) and thoroughly enjoyed the anime movies.

My favourite movies are:
1) Kiki's Delivery Service (魔女の宅急便 - Majo no takkyubin), a story about a teenage girl aspiring to be a witch like her mother. As she embarks on her journey towards self-discovery and adulthood, she encounters several setbacks, challenges and all sorts of people, including a nice boy with whom she falls in love with. The main theme of the movie is finding out what we really want in life and having the determination and effort to make our dreams come true. In the movie, Kiki went through a personal crisis of losing her magic to realise why she needs her magic - to help others, especially those who she cares about. Fortunately she regains her confidence and at the critical moment her magic came back to her and she activates it to rescue someone important to her.

2) Whisper of the Heart (耳をすませば - Mimi wo sumaseba), a teenage girl's romance and growing up story. Unlike the pure fantasy-type plots that characterise many of Studio Ghibli's productions, Whisper of the Heart merges reality and with an element of fantasy. A high school girl who has a talent for creative writing chances upon a boy who initially gave her a bad impression (this is rather consistent throughout many of the movies - do all girls really hate boys at that age?!) because he criticised her song writing skills. Later she discovers that he is a remarkable violinist and violin craftsman, and falls in love with him. Inspired by his talent and ambition, she tries to write a book and succeeded. I felt that the movie was about the beauty of the transcience of life - and we should listen to our heart, "seize the moment" and act on that ONE chance in a lifetime to realise our dream (while we are still young) and fight for our happiness, even if it means going against societal norms or expectations, before its too late...

3) My Neighbour Totoro (となりのトトロ - Tonari no Totoro)
Perhaps the most famous anime movie by Studio Ghibli, I like this movie because of it has all the best signature elements of Studio Ghibli movies: childhood innocence, love for family, kindly neighbours, beautiful countryside, love for nature and mythical fantasy. A pre-teen girl Satsuki and her younger sister Mei discover Totoro, an imaginary creature (supposedly a mythical chinchilla), who lives in the forest behind their new home in the countryside. Totoro has magical powers that can help trees to grow and only the kind and innocent are able to see it. He used its powers to enable the anxious girl and her sister to visit her sick mother in the hospital. The simple movie delivered a simple message: love nature!

For more information, please access the following links:

English site

Japanese site

7th entry - D.Grayman (part 3)

2008-08-18T22:06:00.004+08:00

(Continued from Part 2)

The Exorcists of the Black Order

Now, the good guys… Exorcists are gifted super-humans compatible with Innocence, a holy power (with the appearance of a glowing green crystal) that can destroy Akuma. When Innocence finds a compatible human “host”, it can be controlled by the host and evolve as an anti-Akuma weapon. Simply put, new Exorcists are recruited by existing ones, as directed by Komui, an authority of the Black Order (science department supervisor), upon his detection of Innocence. The precise process is somewhat convoluted, but I had the impression that the evil Akuma are usually the ones who detect the Innocence first, and because they start congregating in the area to destroy it and stir up mayhem noticeably, Exorcists are dispatched to deal with the offending Akuma, and thus stumble upon the Innocence and the compatible hosts (potential recruits) in the process. New Exorcist recruits are brought to the Black Order for their Innocence to be assessed and crafted into anti-Akuma weapons (fused together with their compatible hosts). They are then trained to synchronize with their Innocence, as well as to engage in mortal combat.

Not all the potentials succeed in becoming Exorcists; I remember one young girl who was compatible with a powerful Innocence that could enable Exorcists to predict the future. Unfortunately it was destroyed in battle by one of the Ancient Family members (I think it took the form of a cat that could transform into a woman, but I cannot remember its/her name…). But so far at least 2 important potentials managed to safely reach the Black Order and be trained as Exorcists: Miranda Lott and Baron Aleister Crowley (introduced below).

While Exorcists are super-human, they are far from invincible; they can be killed in battle against powerful Akuma and Ancient Family members. In fact, numerous Exorcists are killed; some episodes focus on the tragic deaths of Exorcists at the hands of the enemy. For instance, Soman, an Exorcist who was recruited because he needed to provide for his family, died a painful and horrific manner. He made a pact with Tiki on one occasion to spare his life, and in so doing his Innocence rebelled within him and went berserk. Allen tried to save him but failed, and instead nearly lost his Innocence (pardon the pun) at Tiki’s hands.

The “Heroes” consist of:

1) Allen Walker - the protagonist of D.Grayman, a teenager with a voracious appetite (but who never puts on any weight...!), great fighting power and skill, and a big heart. Allen loves his friends and does his utmost to protect them; he also has compassion for the suffering souls trapped within Akuma and makes it his goal in life to free them. He is equipped with a "cursed eye" that automatically detects Akuma. This left eye turns red by itself when Akuma are near and enables Allen to differentiate between real humans and Akuma disguises. His Innocence is embedded in His left arm as a cross-shaped mark. Normally Allen’s hand looks like an ordinary one but when his Innocence is invoked, it transforms into a claw. At one stage his weapon evolved into a powerful cannon.

After his innocence was shattered by Tiki and his arm amputated, he managed to recover in a special hideout. There he miraculously develops the Crown Clown weapon by gathering the Innocence fragments around him, and acquires new fighting skills and abilities. In the battle with Tiki while inside the Ark (which Allen won), it was hinted that Allen was slated to be a new General (albeit he was rather young to be one). The latest twist (Aug 2008), however, is that he was supposedly linked to the “Musician” of the Ancient Family (the 14th who was for some unrevealed reason killed by the Ancient Family) who knew the secret 14th room of the Ark and this earned him suspicions from the Dark Religious Organization that he was allegedly a spy for the Ancient Family. General Cross Marian, Allen’s mentor and master, will be investigated together with Allen for these allegations because he was also unable to explain how or why Allen was recruited in the first place, and Cross’s mysterious and unconventional working style only fuelled further suspicions… His trial is a parody of Jesus Christ’s trial by the Jews and Romans – the savior of mankind was wrongly accused and ultimately sentenced to death. Will Allen suffer the same ill fate?...

2) Kanda Yuu

Kanda is a cool, highly skilled and highly tenacious Japanese Exorcist who wields a deadly sword. Although he appears unfeeling, frowning (or wearing a serious expression) all the time and rather unfriendly to everyone, he is attractive as a mysterious brooding who is always focussed, courageous and chivalrous (especially to his friends, whom he wanted to protect at the start of the battles in the Ark - he fought sweet-toothed Skin Boric). From time to time, there will be flashbacks about Kanda's mysterious past, e.g. a lotus flower suspended in a glass jar, adding to his aura of attractiveness. I also like his tattoo on his chest above his heart, not to mention his great looks.

Kanda has an amazing ability to heal rapidly, and even when his sword was broken he manages to muster his Innocence with his blood to bring the sword back and continue fighting. His famous stance is Mugen (Six Illusions, lit), but he also has a mass attack stance Kaichuu Ichigen which unleashes horrific bugs against the enemies.

3) Linalee

One of the few female heroines in the anime, Linalee is the adorable younger sister of Komui. Linalee has been at the Order with her brother since young, as their parents were killed by Akuma. She seemed to have had many unhappy experiences as a child, although she had good memories of happy times with her brother and other childhood friends in the Order. She is kind, considerate, thinks of her friends all the time, and cares a lot about Allen. Her innocence is syncronised with her legs which enables her to kick some enemy ass, but sadly they were injured very early in battle (she was kidnapped by the Ancient Family and trapped in the Ark until her friends rescued her...)

4) Lavi and his grandpa, Bookman (Senior)

Lavi is a hothead with loves fun and friends. The successor of his grandpa, Bookman, Lavi is particularly close to Allen. His weapon is the Big Hammer Small Hammer; when dormant, the hammer resembles a little kid's toy kept in a holster on his thigh. The hammer is versatile, however, and can be used to smash his enemies when enlarged or invoke incantations: Hiban Gouka Kaijin - fire; Tenban Raitei Kaiten - lightning; and Mokuban Tenchi Bankai - ability to control nature. The hammer handle can also extend rapidly at will to bring him to safety or closer to his enemy.

Bookman (Senior), Lavi's grandpa, is a name as well as title for the one who records "hidden history". Bookman is an expert healer using acupuncture. He manages to heal many Exorcists along the journey. His attack is a scroll which destroys his unsuspecting enemies with spells, as well as Heaven's Compass, where thousands of needles are thrown at the enemies to immobilize or destroy them.

5) Miranda Lott and Baron Aleister Crowley
Miranda was initially a pitiful woman ostracised by her townsfolk because she’s clumsy and freakish. Her life changed when she was blessed with Innocence from an antique grandfather’s clock that was abandoned in an antique shop. With it, she could control time but only temporarily. Her weapon, Time Record, a disc-shaped device attached to her arm, was made from her clock. When Miranda invokes her Innocence, she is able to create a time bubble in which the effects of time (such as past injuries) could be stopped or reversed, albeit temporarily. Another stance, Recovery, enables her to create a protective field that causes all physical damage to vanish.

Baron Aleister Crowley is a vampire, except he drinks Akuma blood. Interestingly, he has shown himself to be highly emotional and sensitive, almost wimpish, when not engaged in battle. But once he is angered, especially when his friends are injured, he fights to the death. His teeth resonates to the presence of Akuma, and his Innocence allows him to regenerate and his strength to increase tremendously when he drinks Akuma blood.

6th entry - D.Grayman (part 2)

2008-08-17T17:56:00.002+08:00

(Continued from Part 1)

As with all "evil" characters, the story of the Ancient Family is much easier to narrate than their "good" counterparts. And as with most anime with a zen-Buddhism subversion of Christianity theme, we are led to ponder eventually whether the bad are absolutely ALL bad and whether the good are REALLY that good, because it would seem that everyone in this world have both good and bad qualities.

The “Baddies”, aka Ancient Family, consists of:

1) the Earl of Millennium - the leader of the Family, a fat man with an evil broad grin and glasses. He wears a tall hat, carries an umbrella and dresses in a 3-piece suit with a large coat. He resembles Victorian middle-class capitalists in the 19th century who exploit the poor, except his “factories” make only Akuma and bring nothing but misery to humanity. Initially portrayed as a hard and heartless person, he gradually reveals a softer, emotional side to his character, such as crying uncontrollably when members of his ancient family are killed in battle by Exorcists.

2) Lord Camelot (or “Road”) - an eccentric teenage girl with spikey hair and striped socks. She possesses the ancient family's "Dream" and the power to penetrate the minds of humans and creates illusions to kill them. She is also able to enter easily into different dimensions and camouflage herself so well that she cannot be located easily and killed (unless the person has extraordinary strength of will and intelligence). Interestingly she has a soft spot for the protagonist and her enemy, Allen Walker (there is even a scene in one episode where she steals a kiss from him). Lord Camelot is accompanied by a talking umbrella, Lelo, who has a Jack Lantern face and makes comical relief.

3) Sir Tiki Mic - a proud, well-dressed young gentleman who is really a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”. He possesses the lethal ability to penetrate anything. He is also a master of disguise; he appears initially as a geek to Allen and even befriends him. I feel that he is one of the most fascinating to watch in the anime because he sometimes broods about Allen although he would only admit that he respects Allen as one would a worthy opponent. In battle he fights with uncanny high speed and agility; sometimes he sends out a swarm of killer butterflies and sometimes he uses his hand like a spear. At the battle in the Ark he transformed into a terrifying monster (after apparently losing to Allen) but he was nearly killed by General Cross (Allen’s master) if not for the Earl’s timely rescue …

4) Jasdebi - a bizarre member of the Ancient Family. Very little is known about the pair of non-identical twins, Debitt (impatient and smart) and Jasdero (good-natured but crazy), except for their incompetence (they were assigned to locate and kill one of the Generals but kept failing their mission), until the battle in the Ark. They are the “Trouble” of the Ancient Family – known for unpredictability and swiftness. To become Jasdebi, they needed to shoot each other in the head with their pistols; their bodies then merge into one long(golden)-haired deadly fighting machine. Jasdebi’s hair can pierce through anything and has amazing strength and endurance.

5) Skin Boric - a large muscular man who likes sweets. Like Jasdebi, Skin was virtually unknown until the battle in the Ark. He possesses the “Anger” of the Ancient Family. He is a man of limited intellect and words (his famous line, “Unforgivable, absolutely unforgivable”). Like the Incredible Hulk, Skin transforms when agitated, but that’s where the similarity ends: ultimately he is merely an oversized golden monster able to blast its enemies with an incredible amount of electrical power, but having no depth of character (unlike Tiki and Camelot). Before his memorable showdown in the Ark, we see a glimpse of his past, how he developed the painful, cursed crosses on his forehead (which all the Ancient Family members have) as a human, which no human doctor was able to cure, and how the Earl managed to find him and reveal to him his identity as an Ancient Family member.

6) Lulubell - the "colour" of the Ancient Family, armed with the skill of metamorphosis, Lulubell is the cool butler lady who slashes her enemies using her arrowed whip. Like a chameleon, she can disguise herself as any person to avoid detection. She appears sometimes as a cool black cat, but she is not at all cute.

(to be continued in Part 3)

5th entry - D. Grayman

2008-08-12T13:49:00.004+08:00

One of the Japanese animations that I enjoyed very much is D. Grayman. This animation is in some ways a typical Good-Battles-Evil adventure animation set in imaginary 19th century Europe. The Good is represented by a group of super-human heroes known as "Exorcists" of the Dark Religious Organization (supposedly linked to the Vatican), formed to counter evil forces and save humanity from destruction. The Evil is represented by the Ancient Family, which is headed by the Earl of Millennium who vows to cleanse the world of humanity with a "flood" (a subversion of God's destruction of sinful men in the great flood during Noah's time) and dominate it.

The anime (also available in manga) is very popular around the world, and the latest episodes (#90+) are telecast on Arts Central in Singapore the same week in Japan. I suppose the main attraction of this anime is the colourful and complex characters, as well as the way the plot gradually reveals.

The Millennium Plot

When a loved one dies, those left behind are often filled with unbearable grief and loss. Like Satan, skilled in the art of deception and exploiting human weakness, the Earl will appear to these people who are at their most vulnerable point and make them an offer that they cannot refuse: to bring their loved ones back. Unknown to them, by accepting the Earl’s offer, he will have power to call back the soul of the deceased and create Akuma. The soul is eternally trapped in the Akuma and compelled to do the Earl’s bidding. Ironically, the first victim that the Akuma claims is usually the loved one who gave the Earl the authority to call them back; after the murder, the Akuma will assume the form of their loved one and hide among the living to destroy more humans and create mayhem.

Akuma have the ability to evolve (like Pokemon) into more powerful and “intelligent” monsters. As it does, the human soul trapped within it becomes consumed until it is merely supporting the existence of the shell. Fortunately, the tormented souls within Akuma can be freed if the shell is “exorcised” by Innocence, the power of Good. One might wonder how the Earl will come to know of humans whose loved ones are dying. Well, the Earl makes use of human conspirators who notifies him of such people. These heartless people may even pretend to be friends of those grieving for lost ones. So much for trusting people who appear to be nice … The “blood” of Akuma is evil and contagious. Only those with Innocence (e.g. Exorcists) do not get infected by the blood.

The big question is: can the power of Innocence overcome and power of evil as represented by the Millennium Earl and the Ancient Family who want to destroy humanity with their undead Akuma army?
For more info on this anime, visit animenewsnetwork or dgraymananime (I owe most of the facts about the characters through this website).

Here's a video clip from the recent episode where Allen Walker miraculously plays the piano and saves his comrades and the Ark. I like the music - it has a dreamlike quality and the vocalist sang with much feeling. The plot now revolves around how Allen can play the score of this music on the piano when he has never learnt it. Could he be a spy for the enemy, or a maligned savior of mankind (subversion of Jesus Christ)?

(To be continued in Part 2)

4th entry - Jigoku Shoujo (Hell Girl)

2008-08-07T19:44:00.009+08:00

About 9 weeks ago, Arts Central started showing a re-run of the first season of Jigoku Shoujo (Hell Girl), a 26-episode Japanese anime about a mysterious girl who has the power to carry out revenge for people. Those who have been wronged or suffered injustice, or who have witnessed others suffering injustice, can log into a website at 12 midnight and send the request. Hell Girl will then assess the situation with the help of her 3 companions - a kimono-clad prostitute, a trendy young man in jumper suit and an old man wearing a hat, and respond to the requesting party.

Are her services free? Not really. So what are her terms?

Hell Girl will exact revenge on behalf of the requesting party provided that he or she makes restitution to her. She will recite the following words to her requesting party:

"When a person is cursed, 2 graves are dug..."

Basically, both the requesting party and the target of vengeance will both end up in Hell. The target will go immediately, of course. The requesting party will go eventually when he or she dies. To ensure that the requesting party knows in no uncertain terms what Hell is like before the mind is made up, he or she will go through the "appetizer" first.

A straw voodoo doll with a string tied around its neck is presented to the requesting party to let him/her "think about it" carefully. (Incidentally, her 3 companions are actually her voodoo dolls: the black one is the old man, the red one is the prostitute, and the blue one is the young man. Bizzare...) Once he/she decided to proceed, he/she can pull the string and enter into a contract with Hell Girl. A mysterious voice will announce that Hell Girl will execute the revenge immediately.

The standard modus operandi of Hell Girl in executing her vengeance is in my opnion really fabulous. She will go to the target and enact a scene with her companions. This scene is related to the target, choreographed specially to make him/her realise the wrong that he/she has done. The targets are allowed to confess the sin and repent but they usually don't. Thats when Hell Girl will proceed to say...

"Pitiful shadow cloaked in darkness... Do you like to see what death is like?"

The next scene will show the target lying in Hell Girl's boat, being ferried personally by Hell Girl, through the Gate of Hell. The river is full of eerie lanterns, and sometimes hands of tormented souls will appear to torture the target. Gruesome ......

What happens to the requesting party?

Back in the "real world", the situation will mysteriously improve for the requesting party. Not only will "justice" be restored for the requesting party (or the person for whom he/she had exacted vengeance), sometimes a windfall may be experienced. The requesting party will then bear the sign of the Hell Girl: a tattoo marked on his/her chest. Hell Girl will carve that the name of the requesting party onto a lit candle to remember that she has to ferry his/her soul to hell when he/she dies, eventually...

What I like about the anime is the vibrant colors and beautiful artwork. The stories tend to be quite similar, evolving around pitiful situations where people become desperate enough to go to hell so as to have their revenge. I've always been brought up to think that revenge belongs to God; we are to leave it to God to "take care" of moral justice. While I don't agree with Hell Girl's concept, I relish the joy of seeing evil people get what they "deserve"... heeheehee ...

Read more about the anime on animenewsnetwork.

The Japanese website for this anime can be found here.

This is one of my favourite anime theme songs (the full version of the ending song for season one).

3rd entry - An unwelcome visitor

2008-07-28T16:39:00.004+08:00

On 21 Jul, a bat visited my apartment. It probably flew in sometime during the day, and my mum was the first one to discover its unwelcome presence when she returned home from work in the evening. She was scared silly at first because she didnt know what it was (she didnt turn on the lights), and when I called her at around 8 plus in the evening, she was hiding in her bedroom, refusing to go out. "It flew around and around..."

When I returned home at close to 10pm I didnt see anything strange in the apartment at first. My mum, who had by then mustered just enough courage to shower and return to the safety of her bedroom, was unsure whether the "thing" was still at home. Anyway, I went to open all the windows in the house just in case, and nothing strange happened until I switched on the lights in the living room. Thats when the bat stirred and started flying around the house in circles.

I panicked. I was all alone in the kitchen. Not knowing what to do, I dialled the number for the police using a phone in the kitchen. An officer picked up the call and patiently asked whether I had opened the windows. I was then told to call the Town Council (the estate management) and then the officer hung up. I tried to shoo the creature out of the house but it refused to fly away. At my wits end, I armed myself with an umbrella and walked to the bathroom to shower, then quickly hid in my bedroom.

In the morning, the unwelcome visitor was nowhere to be found. However, it left behind a trail of tiny, pellet-shaped droppings all over the living room. It probably dropped the "bombs" from the air as it circled the room in panic the night before. Although our encounter was brief and terrifying, I was quite happy that something extraordinary happened. I guess I must have been really bored with my life to have found myself enjoying such distractions...

2nd entry - Reflections of 2007 (part 2)

2008-07-11T16:26:00.007+08:00

(Continued from part 1)

On a personal front, I was mostly busy with work in 2007. There were many changes in my workplace and adjusting to them was very challenging. First of all, a nice boss left and I had to adjust to the new boss's working style which is very different. Then, Two co-workers in the same section who I befriended and enjoyed working together with subsequently left, which made me feel very sad. Of course, I had to get to know new people who joined the section, but fortunately they turned out ok.

In the middle of 2007 I started looking for a new posting because I was disillusioned with the direction that the section is going, the fickleness of my boss, and I was increasingly convinced that I was unhappy with my work. After a series of interviews, I finally got accepted at another department dealing with purchasing. I wanted to be able to learn a lot more and try something totally different from what I had been doing previously.

In Apr 2008 I started work at the new post. To my dismay, I got more than what I had wished for: there is too much to learn and I was overwhelmed by it. By Jun I was once again on the hunt for new posts, hopefully with better chances of finding happiness and satisfaction with my job.

Updates for 2008

In early 2008, I discovered the job of making kimchi, a korean dish consisting of preserved radish, white cabbage ("wong bok" in chinese) and carrot, seasoned with korean fish sauce, chili flakes, sea salt, sugar, garlic, (spring) onion and ginger. The recipe is as follows:

1) sprinkle the cabbage leaves with sea salt and soak in cold water until soft (just put enough water to cover the leaves). drain, wash and soak the softened leaves in clean, unsalted water for 15 minutes (the cabbage should remain salty but excess salt should be removed so that fermentation can take place properly). drain and chop the cabbage leaves into 1-inch segments.

2) shred carrot and radish. usually the proportion is one medium radish and two red carrot to one kg of cabbage.

3) process garlic and ginger finely in food processor/chopper. i would use about 3 cloves of garlic and 1 large piece of ginger for the amount of veggies mentioned in point 2 above.

4) if you like spring onion, cut the stalks into 1-inch segments. if you like shallots, you can substitute the spring onion with these but make sure you also add them to the food processor with the garlic and ginger. about 4-5 shallots should do it.
5) in a mixing bowl, put all the veggies in and add about 6-8 tablespoons of fish sauce and 6-8 tablespoons of chili flakes (can add more if you like). add 3-5 teaspoons of white sugar or 2 sachets of Equal. wear plastic gloves and mix the veggies with the seasoning until evenly mixed. the color should be bright red.
6) leave veggies in room temperature to ferment in containers (preferably with lids). glassware would be ideal but ordinary tupperware or disposable, clear plastic containers will also suffice (the chili will stain plastic containers). the fermentation of veggies can take anything from 6-8 hours to overnight or even up to 1 day. the longer the fermentation, the more sour the kimchi will get.

1st Entry of 2008 - Reflections of 2007 (part 1)

2008-07-10T16:28:00.006+08:00

It may have seemed odd to some of you that my 42nd entry was dated 31 Dec 2007 when I had mentioned about my Phuket trip in Jun 2008. Well, there is no mystery: my draft was last saved on 31 Dec 2007 and Blogger published my post as at that date.

The real mystery is: what happened to the writer of this blog for the past 6 months?Let me begin with the latest happening.

I am back in the same unit doing in-camp training. Obviously its the only time when I am free and in the mood to Blog, given that work is so hectic these days that I hardly have energy to Blog at all. There were some changes implemented since my last in-camp training but it was mostly the same - spending time in the library blogging, swimming in the luxurious pool, having unlimited teabreaks and free lunch, enjoying 2 "official" sports activities in the week which takes up the entire morning each day, and a lot of merry-making with the other guys.

Winds of Change

In 2007, my dad retired from his job in a retail store in early 2007. After resting at home for 2 months, he tried working as a security officer for 3 months but didnt like the shifts and the nature of work. He then started working with a recreation club, manning the fruit/jackpot machines, where he is still working today. He is still subject to a shift system and the work is also mundane but more bearable. He was quite happy after visiting Las Vegas with my mum - it was his dream for many years. Gambling is his only passion (besides cooking) and he is so serious about it that he even reads up on casino management and gambling games etc.

My mum started working at a company specialising in providing non-medical care for the elderly. One of the pioneer staff in the company, she became a "star" of a documentary programme on television, which was about elderly care services. In the programme she spoke about her work, and enacted a scene with one of her clients to give a demo of the service provided by her company. Later she was offered a promotion to an administrator job, with higher pay and more responsibility. She was even sent for an overseas training course in Chicago, USA in early March 2008. It was an all expenses paid trip. She didnt like the cold weather there, but she felt honored that at her age she is still considered for such training opportunities that were difficult to come by. Frustrations with work and colleagues abound, but she had found a way of coping - by complaining to me and my dad. haha......

In 2007 I had witnessed 2 deaths in the family. The first one was my maternal grandmother who passed away on the eve of Vesak Day in May. The second was my cousin (mother's brother's eldest son). Both deaths were shrouded in mystery. According to my 2 maternal aunts, both of whom were beside my grandmother when she died, my grandmother's entire room was filled with the fragrance of flowers and she bore a peaceful, serene expression just before she breathed her last breath. The phenomenon only lasted for a few minutes. They believed this phenomenon to be the manifestation of the coming of the Buddha or a Bodhissatva to bring my grandmother's soul to Western Paradise.

My couin, on the other hand, died alone in his home about 72 days later and was found in a pool of dried blood at least one or two days after his death. The cause of death was internal bleeding caused by trauma to the skull, apparently due to a fall that caused his head to hit the floor (there were no signs of forced entry and foul play was ruled out). He was only 40 years old and he was in the pink of health, eating only organic vegetables and not suffering from any diseases. The circumstances surrounding his death were similar to his father's more than 30 years ago - alone in the house, died after a fall. I guess that a momentary blackout caused by stroke probably caused his fall, but my mother's theory was that it was grandmother's soul who returned to bring him to Paradise with her.

(continued in Part 2)

42nd entry - Stories from Travels

2007-12-31T12:48:00.007+08:00

On 29 Dec 2007, S and I had an enjoyable weekend getaway at Copthorne King's Hotel. S booked a executive club room which was the most spacious in the hotel aside from the suites. Soon after I arrived at the lobby, I was ushered to the Club Lounge for a welcome drink and snacks. When I reached our room, S surprised me by bringing our lovable giant-size Winnie the Pooh bear and his 4 little new "Poohlets" dressed up in different costumes, and displayed them all on our bed! We then explored the hotel's facilities and exercised a bit at the gym before going for our evening cocktail. We had a hearty buffet breakfast next morning and went back to the room to watch Surf's Up DVD (S brought it to the hotel as I fell asleep before completing the show the last time when we watched it togther at home) before showering and checking out.

I was so touched by S's surprise! I felt that S put in a lot of effort to make the weekend special for us. Although S seems quite practical and cool in our relationship, I could sense that S can be quite romantic and passionate as well. At the Phuket trip that S and I went together on 12 Jun 2008, we rekindled this precious love and passion for each other. Thanks to S's hard work finding the cheapest airfare and cheapest 4-star hotel online, we enjoyed a romantic holiday for 2 with fabulous savings!

Well, our trip didnt start out romantically at first. In fact, we very nearly couldnt make it alive to the hotel after landing at the Phuket airport. To say that our taxi driver was reckless is a gross understatement - he was more like a Daredevil racecar stuntman who wasnt afraid to die. S got into the cab first, as I loaded our luggage into the boot. When I finished and opened the rear door of the car to get in, the car moved off. I was so stunned that I had left my left foot in the car while hopping on the other foot and trying to get the driver's attention. Our cab then sped off and barely reached the main road outside the airport when it hit the rear bumper of another car. Unfazed, the driver simply got out, spoke a few seconds of rapid Thai to the driver of the other car who was examining the damage, and "settled" the matter before driving off again. The cab then drove at an average speed of 120km/h, overtaking almost every vehicle in front of us (even when it seemed impossible, not to mention illegal, to do so). At one stage the car nearly bumped off a couple of customers patronising a watermelon stall hawking by the roadside - the roads were without any kerb and our cab simply swerved onto the grass patch when there was an opportunity to overtake another car in front of us, even at the risk of hitting innocent pedestrians. All this time, our driver was smoking a cigarette with one hand and talking on his mobile phone on the other, even when his car was going at top speed.

I cant remember exactly, but I at one point I turned to S and said "If we were to die right now, I want you to know that I love you..."

We reached the Deevana resort hotel at Patong in 20 minutes - a modest Phuket record. On the day we departed from Phuket, we had booked the airport transfer from the hotel concierge. The safe and scenic route by the hotel's driver took us to the airport in 45 minutes.

What I liked about Patong in Phuket was not the white sandy beach (we didnt see any nice beaches as we didnt go island hopping); instead, I liked the relaxed atmosphere and conveniences - shopping, beach activities, nightlife and food were all within walking distance. We went to JungCeylon, the largest shopping center in Patong. A full facial at one of the many beauty parlours there only cost 300 BHT per pax (SGD12+). A big salad buffet spread cost only 99 BHT (SGD4+) per pax. At one roadside seafood hawker center, one plate of crab and one plate of 4 large prawns costed me only 310 BHT in total. Its amazingly cheap!!!

The beach was quite disappointing - its comparable to Desaru's, which we visited on 2 Dec 2007. There were some parasailing, F1 boat rides and deck chairs for visitors but we didnt go for them. In the end we spent quite a bit of time relaxing in the resort hotel, exploring the 2 swimming pools and playing pool and table tennis. S fell ill on the last night of our trip, which dampened our spirits a little. Overall, I felt that it was quite a good trip.

41st entry - A Timely Message

2007-07-19T09:21:00.000+08:00

When I opened my email inbox this morning, I was hardly expecting to receive a timely word of advice from God. Perhaps that's why people say that God works in mysterious ways.

The article was actually a "daily bread" message dated 4 Apr this year. For those not familiar with this term, I am referring to short passages written by Christians to encourage other fellow believers to live Godly lives. The one I subscribed to sends me such messages daily, free-of-charge, via email.

I feel that God was telling me that I should continue to perform to the best of abilities with whatever that He had given me, at my current workplace. Instead of always thinking about leaving and about other jobs and what I could be doing, I feel that God wants me to concentrate on doing my work well. Maybe there is something to learn from my experience now that would be useful to me (or for God to use me to carry out His work) later.

Recently, when I went through 2 successful interviews I thought that it was certain I would be employed at another workplace soon. I was overjoyed at how smoothly the interviews went and I was enthusiastic at my present job because of the prospect of leaving. When I received the unexpected and shocking news later that they were unable to offer me a job, I was devastated. Gone were my hopes of starting anew and leaving my current job.

At the time of writing, I had just gone for an interview and was awaiting results. This time, I will tell myself not to put my happiness in the hope of leaving. Instead, I will perform my tasks as if I was not leaving any time soon. I think my changed attitude will allow me to acquire the knowledge and experience that I was resisting to learn previously. This might come in handy as I embark on new career paths.

--------------

Somewhere else
by Jon Walker

“For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11 NIV)

Community — Have you ever been somewhere you didn’t want to be? Maybe it was a job, a town, or a marriage. Maybe it was a stage in life, like singlehood, or a state in life, like a disability. It’s very possible that as you read this, you’re wishing you were somewhere else – anywhere else – living a different life, but you know it’s not likely that anything is going to change any time soon.

God has a word for you. It’s the same word he gave a group of people when they were stuck in another country, exiled from their homeland. They’d folded their arms and said, “We’re going to wait this thing out, and when we get home, we’ll start living our lives.”

Through the prophet Jeremiah, God told them, “You’re not going home any time soon, so start making your lives here. Plant gardens, buy homes, let your children get married, and pray for the peace and prosperity of the place where you’re currently living because, by doing that, you too will be blessed with peace and prosperity.”

To use a modern cliché, God was saying, “Bloom where you’re planted.”

Don’t invest your energy in hopes of leaving; instead invest your energy in the people around you. The Christian martyr Jim Eliot expressed it this way: “Wherever you are, be all there.” Don’t be physically present but mentally somewhere else, thinking of the future or the past, thinking of someplace else. Our journey with Christ requires that we be fully present in the present.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer called it “this worldliness,” and said, “It is only by living completely in this world that one learns to live by faith.” This focus allows you to see that your life is centered in God and not the place you live or work, not the person you’re married to – or not married to – not how you feel or how you look.

Investing in the people around you is exactly how you find life. Jeremiah even told the exiles that God had arranged for them to be in exile. So it was God’s plan all along to push them to the edge of their existence, so they would end up centered solely on God.

You may feel like you’re in exile too, but God is still working in your life; and his message to you is: Dig in and fully embrace the life around you.

So What?

· Center your life in God, not in your circumstances. God is constant; your circumstances are temporary. Ask God, “What do you want me to learn or to do in these present circumstances.”

· Change me, God – Instead of asking God to change your circumstances, ask him to change you in the circumstances.

· Practice being in the present – Today, whenever you find your mind drifting to another place, bring it back to the present, and ask God to help you stay in the present.

· Determine to be a good steward of what you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Make the most of what God has given you.

© 2007 Jon Walker.

--------------------------------

40th entry - a perfect weekend getaway

2007-07-17T13:23:00.000+08:00

On 14 Jul, S and I had a wonderful weekend getaway at Grand Copthorne Waterfront hotel at Havelock Road, which is along the Singapore River. We were given a high floor Superior Plus room, which had a great view of the Singapore River as well as the city centre, a large marble bathroom with separate shower and bath, and a nice king-size bed. Cost? Nothing.

No, we didnt win any lucky draw. Neither did we know anyone in the hotel to get the free stay. It was all because of a feedback form.

S and I booked a weekend getaway package deal with the hotel in June to celebrate our anniversary and also spend time together. We booked the Superior Room package for SGD180+++ with breakfast for 2. At the end of the stay, we felt that the bathroom was giving a bad sewage smell and although we asked for a bathtub we got a shower, and instead of the river view we got the city view.

Disappointed, we wrote our feedback in the hotel's usual form. Not long afterwards, the Manager called us to find out more about the lapse in service. I wrote quite a lengthy email detailing the problems we faced. To convince us that the hotel was sincere in improving their service, the Manager decided to invite us back to the hotel for a complimentary night stay.

I had never encountered such excellent service recovery here in Singapore - in fact, ever, in my life! Because of this manager and the hotel's excellent service attitude, S told me that we should return in future for another stay using the ABN-AMRO bank discount voucher.

The cherry on top of the cake was that at 8.15pm we could see from our hotel room window the magnificent fireworks display from the National Day Celebration Rehearsal at the Marina Bayfront. Hugging each other tightly in the hotel's comfortable complimentary bathrobes, we kissed and made love under the fireworks... It was the most perfect weekend getaway we ever had!

Back in Time

2007-07-17T12:38:00.000+08:00

The story continues with my search for meaning in life... please try not to yawn.

I think I have been searching all this while for something, or to do something, which would make me feel that my life is meaningful. Why? Doing so will make me happy. Or so I thought.

If life is about the search for meaning, then perhaps mine was about the search for happiness. To me, life is meaningless if I can't be happy while being alive. What's the point of living if I am unhappy? The question is: what makes me happy?

I think that its important to be happy about your work. It seems that not many people in this world are. They are usually in a job for the money, to earn a living to support themselves and their family. As for me, if I am unhappy with my work, I cant dedicate 101 percent of my effort into the job. And if I do not commit myself fully into the work, I will not be happy.

Recently, I realised that I am unhappy with my career. Honestly, I have never been 100 percent happy with my job. Maybe its all about give and take - you can't have your cake and eat it. People tell me that there is no such thing as being "100 percent happy" with your job because every job has its ups and downs.

If I cannot have 100 percent happiness, then I would like to seek greater happiness. That's why I have applied for new jobs. My most recent application was for a teaching post in the civil service. My parents were against it but S was all for it.

I went for the interview a few days after my NS training started. I didn't have high hopes of succeeding but I think I have a fair chance of being selected for the training. Among the documents they required was my university scroll, which I had brought to the army camp to be faxed to the teacher recruitment officers. Somehow I had forgotten to bring it home, and when I found it missing from the table where I had left it the previous day, I nearly died.

Frankly, I never realised that the scroll was of any importance to me until I thought I was never going to see it again. My mum commented over the weekend as I was packing the scroll into my bag that I should keep it safely because I worked hard for almost 4 years to get that piece of paper. However, in high-tech Singapore, I never needed to use the certificate to prove my qualifications. My current employer never asked me to produce the certificate when I applied for the job.

At the point when the guys told me that none of them recalled seeing the folder containing my scroll, my heart sank. As the saying goes, its only when you lose something that you begin to miss it. Perhaps many of us have the tendency to take things for granted and do not cherish what we have until we don't see it again.

Fortunately, I managed to find the scroll in the breadbin of one of the office cubicles. Let's hope my search for the "ideal" job will also result in a happy ending as well. ;-)

Hello, I'm Back!!!

2007-07-17T08:24:00.000+08:00

It feels GREAT to be back, after a LOOOOONG break from Blogging. I wondered if any of you reading this missed me (hahahahahhaa..........)

So many things have happened lately that I felt I should record them down. Plus my memory is starting to fail. Yesterday, I accidentally drowned my mobile phone in the laundry wash because I forgot to take it out of my shirt pocket. I felt so sorry for it when I fished it out of the wash, dripping wet and sputtering its last electronic breath, and attempted in vain to resuscitate it by draining out the soapy water from its lifeless body.

Yup, the gradual and insidious onset of memory lapse could be a sign of aging creeping up steadily upon me. Actually this horrific process could have started when I was a baby. I often forgot to breathe, until much later when I realised that other people breath automatically. The only things automatic for me was getting hunger pangs and farting.

I have been called back for National Service training for the second time in my life after I ORD from the army in 1997. At the time of writing I had already served my first week, and was serving my second. When I stepped into the reporting office this morning, I froze: shit, what happened to all the files on the table?! Within seconds, one of the more helpful NSF (active servicemen) informed me that the Commanding Officer suddenly issued an order for Stand-By-Office yesterday. That means that within a few minutes, the office must be transformed artificially and unrealistically clean for inspection. My folder containing my university scroll was missing from my table.

Why did my university scroll even ended up in the army camp? The story has to start with my search for meaning in life...

Sorry folks, my co-serviceman needs to use the only Internet PC in the office. Until next time ......

39th entry - Questions about life

2006-11-28T16:49:00.000+08:00

Life, the Universe and Everything

My prolific friend and fellow-Blogger, Teflonman, has published a set of interesting questions about life and gave his responses to them on his blog. The questions originated from another blog by Probligo. My responses, which I feel are not as well-expressed, entertaining and tongue-in-cheek as my dear friend Teflonman’s responses, are below.

1. Why is there poverty and suffering in the world?

In general, the simple answer is that we live in an imperfect world. Wealth distribution is far from being equal. At the macro level, I define poverty as a state of destitution in which those experiencing it live from hand to mouth on a daily basis, without any hope of improvement in their condition in the immediate future. They often experience starvation or malnutrition, and are unable to have access to basic necessities (water, electricity and fuel) or healthcare. They may not even have a proper shelter over their heads. Such poverty is the result of unfavourable geography and/or natural disasters, or poor governance (rampant corruption is symptomatic of this factor), war (with resources being diverted to destruction rather than construction) and/or political persecution (affecting only certain societal sub-strata). At the micro level, I define poverty as a state of physical deprivation. This may be “self-induced” e.g. due to poor financial planning and management or experiencing the consequences of social ills (e.g. gambling addiction, alcohol or substance abuse) or attributed to “environmental factors” e.g. discrimination against specific sub-strata of society, debilitating unforeseen circumstances). Poverty is usually not a matter of choice; nobody wants to be poor. However, in the “self-induced” cases, poverty is the result of poorly-made lifestyle choices.

I perceive suffering to be a state of mind. What is suffering to one person may be a state of complete bliss for another. For instance, sleeping on a bed of nails or standing on one foot continuously for several years are perceived to be acts of torture by most people, but in certain religious practices these extreme acts accompanied by appropriate meditation are recommended as means of gaining spirituality. Sado-masochism is considered kinky and necessary for sexual enjoyment and climax by some people but deemed by others to be perverse and even insane acts. Viewed from this perspective, suffering is entirely a matter of choice. We can decide to remove ourselves from suffering by positive action or positive thinking. If your boss is a tyrant to you, you can end your suffering by quitting your job, confronting your boss, or comforting yourself that you might learn something in the process. If your spouse is abusing you, you can end the relationship or try to get professional help.

2. What is the relationship between science and religion?

Both are man-made, and both cannot be proven. Scientific “facts” and religious doctrines are based on assumptions, deductions and past interpretations. Both are systematic. Both are neutral in nature but they have the potential to be utilised for good (improving lives and making societies more civilised and progressive) or for bad (abusing scientific knowledge or religious authority to tyrannise others). To me, the only difference is that religion focuses on how humans relate to “the unknown” and to each other, and science focuses on gaining knowledge about their environment and conquering it. As Teflonman pointed out, some people view science as a religion (there is even a religious order of “scientology”). I think it is silly trying to prove one is better or worse than the other – both play important roles in keeping us alive and both should go hand in hand. Without scientific discoveries (the earliest of which is the discovery of agriculture and metals), the entire human race would have all died from starvation and there would not be anything left of nature to preserve, and without the development of religious systems, most societies would not have evolved or become civilised (morality forms the basic foundation for law and order in society).

3. Why are so many people depressed?

I see depression as a phase that most people will go through in life, as nothing will ever go smoothly for an extended period of time. The most common cause of depression is the inability to cope with the loss of something that matters to us – loss of health (e.g. if I discover that I have a terminal illness or a loved one has it), loss of livelihood or finances (e.g. immediately following retrenchment or after the stock market plummeted and the shares we bought become worthless), loss of loved ones (after a love relationship has ended or the demise of loved ones), or even when the soccer team that you supported lost in the World Cup finals. People tend to suddenly discover how precious things are and try to hold on to them when they are just about to lose them, especially if they usually take these things for granted. This makes them unable to cope with the loss, and unable to accept the reality, resulting in depression.

4. What are we all so afraid of?

I think everybody is afraid of something sometime in their lives, and it differs from person to person. However, most of us are fearful of the unknown, what we cannot control. We try to come up with ways to predict the future, to make the unknowns known, but nobody can say for certain that these methods work all the time. Our fear of the unknown is manifested in our fear of death; nobody knows for sure what really happens after death, notwithstanding what religious texts say. As a result, no sensible person alive wants to die, all else being constant. Much of scientific and religious research since ancient civilisation has been preoccupied with finding various methods of self-preservation to prolong our natural lives.

5. When is war justifiable?

War is a state of prolonged conflict between 2 entities (countries, organisations and people). My view is that it should only be waged as a last resort: when your country, family or self is under direct attack from an aggressor and there is no way out except to fight and defend. When 2 entities are in disagreement, bilateral negotiation, sometimes with a mutually-accepted mediator, is the best way to obtain a “win-win” solution and continue friendly relations after the tension is settled. When talks break down, or when one or both entities are not seeking an amiable solution for developing long-term friendly relations, it makes sense for both entities to try to achieve “win-lose” in their favour by going to war. In such cases, Sun Tzu recommends that before deciding to go to war we need to try estimating our chances of winning vis-à-vis our enemy’s. We can analyse this based on SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats – Sun Tzu: “understand yourself and your enemy, and exploit the terrain and weather”) and other strategic tools available out there. Failing to do this, we may either end up losing (in which case it might have been more prudent not to fight the war and wait for an opportunity to engage the enemy again) or being in a “lose-lose” situation where neither entity wins anything.

6. How would God want us to respond to aggression and terrorism?

From a Christian’s point of view, God is Love and Him commandments are simply to love Him and love one another (i.e. fellow human beings). Hence, God would never condone aggression or terrorism, and we should condemn them. However, this is a simplistic view to take. In reality, we usually respond to our aggressors with as much aggression as we can afford (based on our resources) in order to subdue them. We also respond to terrorism very much in the same way. This creates a never ending cycle of attack and counter-attack. Fighting is easier than “turning the other cheek” so to speak, but the latter is not guaranteed to work given the assumption that humans are never satisfied. Since when have bullies stopped attacking their victims when the victims choose to suffer in silence? Yet, it is difficult in reality to identify who the real “bad guy” is.

7. How does one obtain true peace?

On a macro level, “true peace” is a state of utopia where everybody is at peace with each other. If you ask me, it would take no less than a miracle for this to happen. On a micro level, one can easily obtain true peace at any given time when he is at peace with himself, his environment and other people. It is much harder to maintain true peace once it has been attained.

8. What is the meaning of life?

Different people have different aims in life. People who live aimlessly will find no meaning in their existence; their actions are inconsequential and nobody gives a damn if they live or die. People who have a goal in life will work towards it and therefore find their existence meaningful. For some, this goal is to create happiness for themselves and/or others. For some, this goal is to cause another person misery. To each his own

38th entry - L' Homme de sa vie (Part 2)

2006-11-23T10:07:00.000+08:00

Continued from Part 1

Metaphor
The film uses several metaphors but what stands out is the jogging routine of Frédéric and Hugo. A simple act of exercising, which initially seems like an innocent act of male bonding, becomes a process of change for Frédéric. It represented the routine but stable life that he was accustomed to, which he possibly enjoyed, until he met Hugo. The jogging routine then became a means for him to connect with Hugo and perhaps also his way of satisfying his "illicit" desire for Hugo without being too obvious.

Eating was also used as a metaphor in the film. The family dinner that was supposed to be an ordinary get-together became the impetus for change in the lives of Frédéric, Hugo and Frédérique. At the dinner, Frédéric got his family to taste the sweetness of ordinary, plain bread as it get changed from starch to sugar in the mouth through the enzymes in saliva. The physical change in the chemical properties of bread that will only take place by the act of eating it and allowing the enzymes to turn starch to sugar is a metaphorical expression of the emotional and psychological change that will only take place by Frédéric and Hugo's acting upon their instinct and desire.

I felt that Frédéric's sleeplessness was a metaphor for his lack of fulfillment with his ordinary, stable life. In waking consciousness, Frédéric was bound by his sense of duty as husband and father as well as other practical considerations, and he suppresses his innermost desires. His dissatisfaction with the ordinary manifests itself as a sleeping disorder, and he apparently finds fulfillment in dreams, which were depicted as dreamlike sequences of musicians playing tango music.

Symbolism
In the film Hugo cleverly used natural light to create an ephemeral pattern on the wall. Words on the wall had some missing letters, which were correspondingly printed on the window glass panel, such that sunlight falling through the glass will cast a shadow on the letters and complete the words on the wall. This desire to "capture the moment", like impressionism, is symbolic of the desire to live life for the moment. Not surprisingly, Frédéric was captivated by it because this was his desire - to experience real passion even if it lasted a fleeting moment.

The beautiful field of sunflowers and other parts of the countryside (as depicted in the film's poster) that Frédéric and Hugo walked through en route home was symbolic of the love between them - free, pure and natural. Their journey was like a sweet dream, which ended when Frédéric was brought home to his wife and family, returning once again to reality, duty and commitment.

Moving and still elements are used as contrasting symbols in the film. Flowing water symbolises renewal and rebirth (renaissance) (and perhaps a cleansing of old wounds, in Hugo's case), which parallels the changes taking place in the lives of the characters. It contrasts with still water (e.g. in a cup), symbolising stillness, stability and stagnation, which parallels the current state of affairs in the lives of the characters. Similarly, the strange gusts of wind in the house contrasts the soothing breeze blowing over the grass and sunflowers in the field; this parallels the contrast between the almost contrived bond between Frédéric and his wife and the natural bond between Frédéric and Hugo. The breeze was also a "wind of change" for Frédéric, as he discovers new life beyond the ordinary.

Characters

Frédéric reminds me of a dear friend of mine, who went through a divorce about 6 years ago when he decided to pursue a new life as a gay man. It was a painful process for my friend as well as his wife and 4 children, but it was a necessary decision to end more than 20 years of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with the kind of life that mainstream society expects you to lead. Frédéric can choose to continue living a fabricated lie but it will be at the expense of his own happiness as well as his family's. The film does not make him out to be an irresponsible man, but rather an anguished man with unfulfilled dreams.

Frédérique is the unfortunate wife trying to salvage her marriage. She appears as an understanding, patient, dutiful and faithful wife who loves her husband, dotes on her son and seeks a happy family life. Her dream was shattered when Hugo entered their lives. When she realises that her grip on life was slipping away she struggles to hold on, but it was too late. Her last desperate but futile attempt to persuade her husband to make love to her made her appear defeated, lost and hopeless. She is like her favourite bedroom chair - a perfectly useful piece of furniture in good condition but her husband does not see it the same way (he wanted to get rid of it at one stage but she insisted on retrieving it).

Hugo is a strong man determined to live his own way of life notwithstanding the heavy emotional baggage that he had been carrying with him. He does not believe in commitment and permanence, but seeks to live life for the moment. His past comes back to haunt him, however, and he is forced to confront them - a father who threw him out of the house and a daughter whom he abandoned. He changed when he met Frédéric, finding the courage to face his daughter and reconcile with his family. I found the scene in which he climbed onto his father's dying bed and curled up next to his father is very touching; Hugo's bitterness at being rejected had disappeared when he accepted his own daughter.

Overall critique

I liked the way the film explores certain issues but leaves the assessment to the audience. The dreamlike sequences were a little bizzare and fragmented, but the way the same scene is filmed from different angles and repeated at various points in the film is rather refreshing and interesting. The actors gave a convincing performance and the script was natural. I guess perhaps that the film was a little too heavy on the subtext, symbolism etc but the overall entertainment value rates quite high. If I could give it rating between 1-10 for artistic value, I'd say it scored 9 at least.

37th entry - L' Homme de sa vie (Part 1)

2006-11-22T13:09:00.000+08:00

On 14th Nov, S and I went to watch a French film, L'Homme de sa vie (2006), directed by Zabou Breitman. We enjoyed it, even though there were parts of the film that we did not understand fully. I was impressed with the director's clever use of tension, metaphor, imagery and symbolism to bring out the central themes of the film, but what I liked most was the ingenial technique of filming the same dramatic sequence from different angles as though viewed from different perspectives. Overall, I think its one of the best French films I've watched so far.

I do not have full background knowledge about the film, so what I describe is essentially what I saw and understood (which may not be an accurate representation of the film). A seemingly loving straight couple, Frédéric (Bernard Campan) and Frédérique (Léa Drucker) invites their family to their country home to spend the holidays. During one of their family dinners they decided to invite their new neighbour, Hugo (Charles Berling), a single gay man. Frédéric and Hugo had a deep and long conversation about falling in love, being committed in a relationship and what they both are looking for in life. Their conversation left a deep and permanent impact on both of them, and changed their lives significantly.

Use of Tension

The audience is initially treated to a slow-moving slideshow of picturesque scenery from the French countryside at the start of the film. The relaxing rhythm of the slideshow is interrupted by the buzz of activities in the house as family members prepare for their get-together. Tension (both atmospheric and dramatic i.e. between characters) rises rapidly as the plot of the story unravels. The mysterious and almost supernatural phenomena of the wind that howls suddenly and unexpectedly through the hallway of their country home; the mystery surrounding the neighbour/dinner guest who swims in the nude in his own pool; Hugo's awkward revelation of his own homosexuality (probably still regarded as taboo in French society) at the family dinner and his sardonic and critical comment regarding the stereotypical jobs of faggots - the tension added a aura of suspense to the film and made it entertaining.

Bits of comedy and surrealistic scenes were often injected in the film to ease or diffuse the tension, but these also enhanced the effect of the tension between the main characters, Frédéric and Hugo, as well as internal tension within the characters themselves. Frédéric's initial awkward interactions with Hugo e.g. their first conversation when Frédéric went to invite Hugo to the dinner, followed by their hug when Hugo arrived at the gathering unexpectedly ahead of time, as well as the way the men look meaningfully at each other, made us think that something other than friendship is going on between the men. The sexual tension between the men, which can be seen in their spoken and body language - innuendos and subtle glances exchanged - is quite important in this film. However, equally important is the internal tension within Frédéric and Hugo, for different reasons. For the former, it was the conflict between performing family duty and seeking fulfillment in life; for the latter, it was between seeking personal freedom and seeking love from/and recovering a lost connection with his family.

Frédéric's desire for a connection with Hugo brought the film to its turning point, when Frédéric insisted on jogging with Hugo in spite of having a sprained ankle. The tension between them (and within Frédéric) reached its peak when Hugo confronts Frédéric outside the nightclub - the two men faced each other, bodies almost touching, with Hugo searching Frédéric's face for an answer but Frédéric looking down and unable to express his feelings for Hugo, and ending with Frédéric turning abruptly and hopping away (due to his injury). We could see plainly that Frédéric was in turmoil and anguish at being unable to resolve the internal conflict in his mind. On the other hand, Hugo was in a way reconciled with his "lost" family and accepted, and the film ended with him embarking on a journey of new self discovery and recovery of old wounds (being rejected by his own family and father).

The tension between Frédéric and his wife Frédérique was also an important element of dramatic tension in the film. What began as Frédéric's inability to maintain an erection in bed eventually turned into the discovery of underlying problems in their marriage. Beneath the surface of mutual respect and love, the couple suffered from a lack of understanding and passion: it feels like they were staying together because of the marriage and their young son. Frédéric's dying interest in his wife contrasted with his growing desire for a connection with Hugo, which he was in denial of. Frédérique was frustrated and puzzled at the change that had come over her husband, and she suspected was amiss but could not bring herself to admit that it was because of Hugo. She feared change as much as Frédéric, refusing to let go and face the inevitable. The tension between them reached its peak as the film arrived at its climactic conclusion, when Frédéric revealed to his wife that he can no longer make love to her the way he used to. Her stable world came crashing down, and she is left with uncertainty and despair. In this light, Frédéric's transformation is a brutal blow to her and the family that they had formed.

Continued in Part 2

(pictures taken from official site of L'Homme de sa vie)

36th entry - Some thoughts about working life

2006-11-13T14:59:00.000+08:00

In 3 weeks' time, I am supposed to start work at a new office. This will be my 4th job since I started work in Feb 2001. Technically I have not left my first employer, but the nature of the work is expected to be different from my previous deployments. On one hand, I am happy for the change - in a way I had chosen it, after all; on the other hand, I am also worried because I do not have any clue what I will be getting myself into.

My first job was dealing with policy development. It gave me my first taste of working life, as well as exposure to different styles of management. Over a period of slightly over two years, I had to work with 5 different bosses: an impatient tyrant; a laid-back dreamer; a kind and fair leader; a selfish bastard; and a EQ-deficient/socially-awkward high-flyer. The most memorable times were spent outside of office, either during lunch or after work, playing badminton or going to the gym or just chilling out with a few colleagues over dinner.

During this period, I experienced one office relocation, got involved in one new love relationship (and several failed short-term ones in between), and went on four short trips with my colleagues (1 to Sydney and Canberra on official business, which was my first visit to Australia; 1 to a fishing resort on Bintan Island, Indonesia; and visits to Malacca en route to a durian plantation as well as to Redang Island, a beach resort in a northern Malaysian state).

In 2003, I applied to an internal job-posting ad and got recruited by a prestigious department as a research analyst. The work was interesting and high-profile but the workload was a nightmare. I had to count the number of Sundays that I did not have to return to the office. The main attraction of the work was an opportunity to get a higher salary, but in the end I decided that it was not worth the effort. It was here that I learnt a great deal about office politics and to avoid the snares of people who will do anything in their means to get ahead or save their skin, even if it required them to abandon their sense of morality.

Even in this cut-throat environment, I managed to make a few good friends, such as KC@FK. I also managed to learn line-dancing, which not only allowed me to do some light exercise but also to expand my social circle. There were many occasions when I looked back at my short 1.5-year stint here and wondered whether I had any regrets. The answer that confronted me was always negative: in spite of the workload and office politics, it was an eye-opening experience that I would not have gotten if I had remained at my first post. It was also my job with this office that gave me my first unforgettable visit to Israel.

At present, I am a research analyst at another department. While there is no difference in terms of job title, the job nature of my current position is quite different from that of the last one as there is more team and project-type work involved. The workload here is much more manageable, and the working environment was more pleasant after our office relocated to a convenient part of town. Major perks that I have enjoyed here are the visits to Jakarta (in which I stayed at the comfortable 5-star Grand Hyatt Hotel and was chaffeured around in luxury cars), Israel (my second one) and Sydney/Canberra (also my second). It is also in this department that I am able to go home practically on time everyday, and go for gym regularly and even swimming during extended lunch breaks. The exposure was also fantastic - in the course of my work I am given the opportunity to meet many kinds people working in different offices.

Sadly, nothing is perfect. My bosses here are quite unprofessional and selfish. They do not care about staff development because everyone is here for a limited 2-year period ("on loan" or secondment from another department) and we all knew that our efforts here are not going to get recognised by our parent departments. Nobody really respects the director and everyone finds his deputy a pain in the ass. The managers are either clock-watching, minimal-work performers or ambitious, pretentious and prideful over-achievers.

The current situation is not the worst yet; things are only going to get worse with the "next generation". My replacement (since I am due to leave) is a reclusive wierdo with a out-of-this-world appearance to match; her new fellow colleagues include a retired army colonel who talks to us like he is still in the army, an eccentric sailor with a bizzare way of thinking (the director apparently feels that he can think out of the box, which I agree, if off-tangent articulations can also be considered "thinking out of the box"), and an army commando officer whose sole staff work experience was in purchasing generators and training plattoons of men but has been asked now to construct abstract complex "system maps" and perform horizon-scanning (aka professional crystal-ball gazing). And my current supervisor is a first-class bitch whose EQ is negative and whose ego far exceeds her intelligence.

If this office has been a joke for the past 2 years, the joke is only going to get more hilarious.

I really hope that my new office will be something to look forward to, and that its not going to be worse than what I experienced so far. I hope I get to work with some nice colleagues and a good boss, and that they will stay. I hope the job will be interesting and challenging but not too heavy in terms of workload. But a perfect job does not exist in this world, does it?