Monday, January 30, 2006

7th entry - God's Work in Casting "End of the Spear"



An article on www.christianitytoday.com attracted my attention. It was about how an openly gay actor, Chad Allen, was casted in a movie about 5 Christian missionaries who were martyred in 1956 in the jungles of Ecuador. According to the article, Allen did not inform the filmmakers about his sexuality before he was offered the contract.

Allen was to play 2 characters in the film, Steve and Nate Saint. Steve Saint, a consultant in the film, initially felt "shocked" that "a man who has chosen to live a lifestyle in stark contrast to my dad's would actually be playing his role in End of the Spear". However, he chose to bear the responsibility of a potential backlash from the largely intolerant Christian community who would be viewing the movie rather than to dishonor the contract offered to Allen. On Allen's part, he sought Saint's view whether he should break the contract instead of going ahead to take part in the movie, and Saint's reply was to keep him.

Why did Saint choose to make such a difficult decision? He said that in a dream, he was "being chased by a mob of Christians who were angry with me for having desecrated 'their story.' The answer to their hostility was easy: Just ask Chad to remove himself. But as quickly as this thought came to me, I found myself standing before God. His look was not as compassionate as I had expected. God said, 'Steve, you of all people should know that I love all of my children.

With regard to Chad Allen, I went to great lengths to orchestrate an opportunity for him to see what it would be like for him to walk the trail that I marked for him. Why did you mess with my plans for him?' Saint concluded that he "would rather face the anger and even hatred of people who feel I have let them down, than to take any chance of having to stand before my Savior and have to answer for messing up his plans for Chad."

The executive producer Mark Green echoed a similar view. He said "I would not have hired Chad had I known everything about him. But God had to work around me to get Chad on this project. He wanted Chad on this project. I wish I were able to articulate all the things that led me to understand that. It is very hard to share the ways the Lord leads, especially when you can't fully grasp why he is doing things that don't make sense to the natural man. ... I have total peace about the decision, and that Chad Allen was the man God intended to act in the movie. I will be held accountable for this decision, and I feel I have made the right decision."

How does the actor in the middle of this controversy feel about the whole episode? He said he looked forward to making the movie. "This is one of the most extraordinary stories of love and forgiveness that I've ever known," Allen said. "But I also realized the incredible responsibility of playing these two men, especially as I learned more about how important Nate Saint and Steve Saint are to people around the world. I really felt the weight of that." And here is something that really struck me - Allen said "I know God does have great plans for me. And I ask him every single morning to reveal those plans to me."

I am confident that Allen will do his best in acting the challenging roles that he has landed in the film. Allen is a Christian who attends Pasadena's gay-friendly All Saints Church. In my view, aside from the criteria of the possession of good acting skills and experience, Allen's faith already qualified him to act in the movie. Why is there even a controvery in the first place about his sexuality? If there were implications that his lifestyle was objectionable, then Keanu Reeves should never had been asked to make the story about the life of Buddha; Reeves is not even a Buddhist! Allen is not portraying a gay Christian - just a Christian, period. He should not be discriminated against because of his sexuality. Thanks and Praise be to God for revealing this truth plainly to Saint and Green! Amen!!

My prayer for the actors and other staff making this movie is that God will cause them to understand His good and perfect will for mankind, which I believe gays are a part of. I pray that the message of His great love will shine through the shroud of anti-homosexual prejudice and anger in the hearts of those who take part in, as well as those who watch, this film. I also pray for gay Christians all over the whole that they come to terms with their unique role in the world that God has planned for them to perform.

May Jesus's all encompassing love be felt by everyone who watch the movie.

For more information about the article, please go to: http://www.christianitytoday.com/movies/news/chadallen.html

Thursday, January 26, 2006

6th entry - From a Guy Hopelessly in Love...




I've known S for close to 3 weeks now, but we "officially" started a steady relationship 2 weeks ago. Over the phone we exchanged our candid impressions of each other and decided to give it a try. Over the past few days we had been talking to each other everyday, and meeting very frequently (at least twice a week). As my understanding of S grew, so did my love for S. Before I realised, I discovered I had fallen hopelessly in love with S.

How do I know? I think of S everyday, almost immediately after waking up (of course I still think of God first, but I guess no one can replace Him in my heart). I think of S throughout the day, worrying how S is doing at work. When we are spending time together I feel so happy, especially doing the couply but "mundane" everyday things. Just being in S's presence was all that mattered to me - eating in or out together, going shopping for groceries, watching TV ...

Of course, the physical intimacy was terrific too - S is the best lover I had ever been with, and I have already made up my mind to satisfy S in bed in every conceivable way. S is the sweetest, gentlest, most considerate and thoughful and yet most passionate and affectionate person I have ever met and/or had the privilege of making love to.

S has inspired in me the desire to express myself in poetry... This is a half-poem I composed for S recently (I was interrupted):

When we touch my body trembles and shakes
Every part of me is electrified.
Your love gently courses through my body,
Giving life to all the cells that its made.
When we kiss and hug we become as one,
Our hearts will beat in unison alike.
Darling I love you more and more each day!

I know it sounds terrible and cliched, not to mention very exaggerated ... but what I wanted to express was the life-giving power that the love between S and I has breathed into my body, and the inseparable bond that ties us together.

On 24 Jan, S and I made a greek salad together. To me, it was a milestone because it was the first time we made a meal together and ate in the privacy of a home, like what couples do. The most enjoyable part was feeding each other mouthfuls of the vegetables, but other things like washing the food/utensils and preparing the meal were fun too. The salad also symbolised our relationship - putting together what we learnt from our past, combining our talents and using our strengths to meet future challenges, overcome obstacles along the way and cover each others' weaknesses. My desire is to turn our salad from a homemade meal into a gourmet, and to achieve this through hard work, perseverance and faith in God.

Maybe I'll need to attend some cookery classes too ;-)

Monday, January 16, 2006

5th entry - On Relationships




Some "words of wisdom" that a colleague of mine sent to me that I thought of posting here ... I dont necessarily believe all of it but I guess there is always some truth embedded in these sayings. (Blogger's disclaimer - for everything mentioned here, users are advised to apply discernment and are reminded that they are fully responsible for any action they follow up on.)

TRUST
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
(Blogger's view: On a more positive note, I don't think that a relationship will necessarily end when trust is broken. It could mean that parties involved need to re-build the trust, but there could also be deeper issues that may or may not be reconcilable.)

NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
(Blogger's comment: I doubt very much the last statement. Unforgiveness is something that many people find hard to do; my church raised this issue last week and my congregation was reminded that before we judge others and harbour resentment and unforgiving attitudes towards them, we should consider how God forgave us and offered us a second chance. I try to remind myself that the Lord's prayer includes the verse - "forgive us our sins as we had forgiven those who sinned against us".)

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
(Blogger's view: I stopped having illusions of a perfect relationship since I broke up with my ex. In my view no relationship between 2 people are perfect - even if 2 people can be perfect, it does not mean that they will have a perfect relationship together. Perhaps both parties can consider maintaining communication about this and work out a consensual arrangement and review the arrangements as necessary.)

NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
(Blogger's comment: My parents thought that they could change each other after they got married. As the years went by, their expectations gradually lowered and they become happier with each other. If one party had tried to "dominate" over the other by making unreasonable demands, then I seriously doubt whether the former really loves the latter.)

RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
(Blogger's view: Christians believe that the spoken word is powerful, and we are always reminded to be careful of our tongues - what we say should be used to build others up and not to tear them down. When we find that its easier to use harsh words, it means we need to think about whether we love the person enough to make the extra effort to use a gentler approach. If you really want the person you love to change, saying it in the right way may be more effective and also prevent a relationship from breaking down.)

PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison.
A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others' words if our conscience is clear.
(Blogger's comment: Frankly, I find the story very ridiculous ... I mean, who will be so stupid to carry their a**?! But my point is that people have the right to say what they want to say, yet we also do not need to give them the opportunity to cast us in a negative light, am I right?? haha...) In reality, I suppose we should be discerning about every piece of advice that is dispensed to us, no matter how well-meaning the dispenser's intentions may be.)

BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired - Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
(Blogger's view: This brings to mind a "wise saying" I once heard - vows made in storms are forgotten in calms. Anything - whether a promise or a statement - made in haste or negative emotion without due process will usually be regretted later, but often people are too proud to admit their mistakes. This goes back to the point about learning to consider whether we love the person enough to calm ourselves down before using harsh words on our loved one/s.

Blogger's last word -
Personally, I guess a person's character can change, especially given the right combination of external and internal factors i.e. circumstances and determination. However, if one enters into a relationship with another based on the assumption/ expectation that the other will change, then disappointments with the timing of the change and whether such change will even take place may lead to disillusionment and frustration/ unhappiness for both parties, possibly even to a break down in the relationship. Again, communication could be a useful mediator but it is not guaranteed to work against an eventual breakup.

4th entry - I Have Fallen in Love - Again



When I broke up with my ex, I was afraid to start a new relationship. I did not know whether my feelings had completely ended, and I thought I had no ability to love someone. My ex is a nice person and I regret causing us so much hurt by ending the relationship, but I knew it was inevitable because I did not see any viable future for us.

Naturally, I waited a long time before deciding that its time to move on with my life. By God's love and grace and mercy I was surrounded by warm and sincere friends - some old, some new, and some "renewed" - who were there for me. Soon I picked up courage to start dating again, but the spectre of my failed relationships kept haunting me. Then I met a special person, quite unexpectedly (because I was not actively looking for love but more for friendship), and suddenly I was swept away.

Like the well-known Carpenters' song goes, we have only just begun, and I do not know where we will end up. All I want is the best for both of us - whether we will end up being together for the rest of our lives or for only a short while. Even if its only a temporary happiness ... even if one or both of us might get hurt ... even if things change and we find that we are not suited for each other ... I will still think its worthwhile.

I decided that I will not be afraid to share my life with my darling. God has given His great and perfect love to us - similarly I believe that God wants me to give my best to this relationship. Just as He has given us the best - His only begotten Son Jesus Christ - so that we the sinners can be reconciled to Him. God's love to us is unconditional, and so I will try to give my love unconditionally. I will have no regrets. I will not look back.

--------------------------

My darling, below is a poem I've written for you as a declaration of my love, and an expression of the dilemma I am in. Without realising it, I've fallen in love with you, but right now I'm not 100% confident that I can secure your heart and I don't know whether we will be able to accept each other. But thanks for giving us a chance! Lets work hard and we can face life together as one! And I will grow to love you more each day ... *kiss*

Oh no! I have fallen in love again

Staring into the starry night I stand,
Thinking what the future had in store.
Is this the beginning, or its the end?
I had experienced this feeling before.

The one I like is full of charm and wit.
So kind, affectionate and sensitive.
Thoughtful and considerate and sweet.
So gentle yet so firm you won't believe.

The words we spoke are etched into my mind
Such that they cant be erased from my brain.
My heart had flown to him and his to mine.
Oh no, I have fallen in love again!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

3rd entry - Watercolor Workshop




On Wednesday a good friend of mine, FK, and I attended a free watercolor workshop at the Esplanade Mall (Singapore). The workshop was conducted by an arts studio named Studio Haroobee, which conducts lessons for children and adults in the use of various art medium such as watercolor, oil, acrylic and even illustration (e.g. manga art).

An experienced local watercolorist led the class of about 10 "students". He first gave a demonstration of wet-on-wet technique. Using large brush strokes, he covered the entire piece of paper with clean water. He then mixed some colors and applied them onto the wet surface. When it was our turn, I felt that the technique was really more difficult to execute than it had appeared during the demonstration. Nonetheless, FK and I gave it a good try and I thought FK did pretty well.

In the second half of the workshop, the teacher showed us the wet-on-dry technique. Over the initial coat, details were added on using finer brushes, thus giving definition, depth and texture. Trees, a boat, rocks and so on began to take form. It was amazing to me how the teacher could already have the final picture in mind the moment he started to paint. I admired his use of minimal, bold and fast brush strokes. In fact, his deft handling of the brush and skilful mixing of colors left me mesmerized. I felt as though he was performing magic, with his brushes acting like wands, and the color pigments like ingredients to make the potions and spells.

He said that the colors one used reflected one's personality. There was one lady who was using predominantly orange and red to create very imaginative pieces; the teacher said that those were "her colors" - colors associated with her personaliy. I was told that "my color" seemed to be blue, and he was spot on. I like blue - especially the darker shades and hues of blue - this color attracts me due to its association (in my mind) with reliability, security, calm, serenity and water (which is something I like very much). In life I am drawn to people who are reliable, secure, calm and harmonious, and I also seek situations that peaceful and quiet.

I painted a picture as though viewed from a barge cruising down the Nile along the Valley of the Kings in Egypt during sunset. I need a lot more work on the horizon, water reflection and ... well, actually everything! :-)

Having been out of touch with watercolor for such a long time, I am just so happy to be able to pick up a paint brush again! For this I am eternally grateful to FK. We may be starting formal training in watercolor soon - we are looking forward to more and better works in future.

Monday, January 09, 2006

2nd entry - To be a Great Nation




The book of Genesis in the Bible (written by Moses in 1450-1410BC), in addition to being a beautiful story of creation, a glorious introduction to God's magnificant and perfect love that is essentially the main message of the Bible, and an almost mythological record of God's earliest known work and the fruits of His creation, has many interesting stories that bear amazing relevance to us living in modern times. One example is the passage that was shared by a Christian brother in his sermon during a service at Free Community Church (Singapore) on 8 Jan 2006.

The passage referred to here is Genesis 21: 8-20.:
"8 The child grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. 9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, "Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that slave woman's son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac." 11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, "Do not be so distressed about the boy and your maidservant. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the maidservant into a nation also, because he is your offspring." 14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the desert of Beersheba. 15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there nearby, she began to sob. 17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation." 19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. 20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer.

Before I go to the message of the sermon, I would like to describe a bit more about Abraham and Hagar's son, Ishmael (means "God hears"). In an earlier passage (Genesis 16:11-12), Ishmael was described as being someone who would grow up to be a "wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers". This was revealed to Hagar by an angel of God i.e. acting on behalf of God. Hagar was also told that her descendents (through Ishmael) will be too numerous to count (Genesis 16: 10).

Back in Chapter 21, the parents of Ishmael were in distress, but God assured them both again that this boy will become a great nation (verses 13 and 18). Abraham was in God's favour due to his faith and obedience in Him, and God's promise to him was fulfilled as Ishmael eventually became a ruler of a large nomadic tribe that lived in the deserts of Sinai and Paran (south of Israel, now straddling parts of southern Israel and northern Egypt). It is also noted, however, that later in the Bible the Ishmaelites were pictured as being hostile toward God and Israel (Psalms 83:6), thus completely fulfilling the prophecy that was revealed to Hagar (Genesis 16:12). Why did God make a nation out of someone that will end up giving trouble to Him and His chosen people? Was it His "mistake"? If it was, then it must be that God knew it was going to be a "mistake" and yet still proceeded. Why? Was it an act of love? Was it to prove His faithfulness?

While we ponder of these questions, let me return to the message of the sermon. One of the big points of the sermon was that the GLBT community is likened to be Ishmael. Ishmael was to Sarah a threat to her son Isaac and his existence therefore a mockery to her. In the same way, the GLBT community may be seen as a threat to the heterosexual majority, and its existence perceived as a mockery to them. Sarah strongly opposed the inadvertent desire of Ishmael to exert his rights as Abraham’s son over his father’s inheritance. Similarly, the desire of members of the GLBT community to have civil rights equal to those enjoyed by members of the heterosexual majority is disdained as a perversion of nature or God’s will, a rebellion against the “rightful order of things”. Is Sarah right? Has she forgotten that her own ability to bear a child for Abraham was also a blessing from God? What right did she have then to compel Abraham to deny the innocent mother and son of their rights? What did Ishmael do to deserve his harsh treatment? Nothing - it was Sarah’s insecurity and petty selfishness, pure and simple. By showing compassion for the mother and child at their moment of desperation, and reaffirming that the child would lead “a great nation” and actually fulfilling this promise, God not only proved that he is faithful and will always honour his promise, but also that he has compassion for the downtrodden, the marginalised, those who suffered injustice at the hands of others.

Another big point in the sermon is related to sinking roots in a church and regular attendance. A common pattern observed is that pre-believers join a congregation, learn about God’s love and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour, feel the exhilaration of freedom to live new lives having died to their old sinful selves, realise that the church no longer serves their needs (e.g. their source of support dries up), and move on. While some pre-believers eventually settle down at one place, most become perpetual church visitors; like spiritual nomads, they are unable to sink roots and experience spiritual growth because their involvement or active participation will never deepen or increase.

The speaker wanted to make the point that the spiritual nomads described above are likened to be Hagar: having been set free by her mistress and experienced the exhilaration of freedom, only finding herself stranded in a desert and as her source of support (food and water) runs out, contemplating how her end would come (hence her sobbing). The only difference between spiritual nomads and Hagar is that Hagar did not have a choice to stay or go, whereas spiritual nomads have the option of going to another church. To me, the availability of options may not be a good thing: the spiritual nomads may find the same thing happening to them over and over again in different churches, and end up “wandering in the desert” and being completely lost – they may even “backslide” and turn away from God. In fact, I would argue that Hagar is relatively more fortunate, as God opened her eyes and allowed her to see the well; her son was not only able to survive, but God was with him (verse 20) and he grew well. Spiritual nomads, on the other hand, may become so distracted by the constant need to adapt to new dynamics in different churches that they become discouraged and stop going to church altogether, thereby possibly denying themselves the chance to grow.

Why is spiritual growth so important? Christians must grow in order to bear fruit for God. Jesus said in scripture e.g. the gospel of John 15:5-6 that “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If any man does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” There are benefits to spiritual growth too. Jesus says further in John 15:7-8 that “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” Spiritual nomads will have much difficulty in experiencing growth, and therefore their ability to bear fruits for God is diminished. Fruits of the Spirit would include bringing people to God, building up fellow brethren and supporting the church in various ways – what are the chances of these things happening for self-centred spiritual nomads who constantly seek fulfilment of their own needs? Really, only God knows.

Finally, I believe that the speaker of the sermon tried to draw parallels between Ishmael the child and the level of acceptance, knowledge and understanding of the issues of sexuality unique to the GBLT community. Members of this community typically reach adulthood and maturity in society ahead of their maturity in the level of acceptance, knowledge and understanding of their own sexuality and what this entails. In other words, many GBLT individuals, regardless of their age, are at a stage of infancy regarding how to respond to their same-sex desires, to interact and form meaningful relationships with others having similar orientation, and to deal with the inevitable problems that arise from this. I don’t recall that this point was developed further, but perhaps its validity deserves greater exploration in a separate Blog entry?

Perhaps the last and most important point was that the speaker hopes the GLBT community (the Christian GLBT community) will grow into a great nation like Ishmael. If you ask me, God has amazing plans for the GLBT community, especially its Christian members, when this community gets its act together - plans that would blow our small minds. I can even assure some of us that the narrow-minded and bigotted people in heterosexual Christian community are not prepared for what is to come.

Sigh, another long piece for my dear friends to chew on. Sorry, but I don’t have any indigestion pills to dispense along with this. Hee …

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

1st entry - Hello 2006, Goodbye 2005



I am of the impression that many fellow Bloggers have taken this opportune time to reflect on how the past year fared for them and how they would like the new year to be different. I wanted to do a similar thing except that something unexpected happened and it made me so upset that I was afraid I might end up bitching about my life and some of the people I met in 2005. In the end, I decided to calm myself down by reading God's Word. After all, I thought that if there was someone who could understood me completely and provide me with appropriate counsel, it would be my Creator.

He did not disappoint me. Praise be to God, the Everlasting, the Holy and the Almighty One!!!

Some of you might be thinking - what actually happened? Well, I was reflecting that all of humanity(including myself) is foolish.

I asked myself: why is it that what we cannot have or do not have (yet) is always perceived to be "better" or more highly prized that what we already have? Yet when we have it, do we cherish it as much as when we didnt? Is it a case of feeling that whatever we have is never enough? What we think we need or must have is often only what we want to have, but which may not necessarily be important or essential; compare for instance a "grocery list" to a "wish list". Logically, what we need is more crucial to us than what we want. What we want, however, can sometimes take precedence over what we need. Can this be the reason for us being unhappy when we have everything we need but not everything we want? If we eventually manage to get something we want, why do we still feel that its not enough? Why are we always seeking something else to make us "complete" and/or happy? And even when we have everything we want, will we be absolutely certain that we will be "complete" and/or happy? Or will we crave for more "wants" to be satisfied? Can we ever be satisfied? If so, when?

According to King Solomon, nothing on this earth will ever make us truly "complete" or happy. Wealth is never enough to make anyone happy for any length of time. Leaders are never satisfied with any amount of progress made. Artists are never content with what they have created, constantly seeking to improve and perfect their creations. Lovers can never find the perfect partner or the perfect love in any relationship. Indeed, Solomon sums it up succintly: "All man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied" (Ecclesiastes 6:7)

One may wonder why then do we still foolishly seek what we do not have? Why are we all caught up in the futile game of "chasing after the wind" (Ecclesiastes 1:14)? What is the meaning in all our quests? I think the answer is that all these quests either lead us astray and further away from the path that God intended for us, or take us one full circle back to the starting point of our quest. In other words, all our quests lead us nowhere. The reasons are that we are easily blinded by our own stubborness, emotions and/or selfish pride, and that we are easily taken in by the subtle lies of the Evil one: "You will never be happy until you have this or that. You will be happy when you have this or that."

Solomon's advice is twofold: firstly, be content with what we have as well as what we dont have, and always be thankful; secondly, trust in God with what we cannot achieve using whatever gifts that we have been given, including our possessions(s), strength(s) and wisdom. "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore a man cannot discover anything about his future." (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

Is it wrong to seek more wealth, more wisdom, more progress, more pleasure or more happiness? Solomon asked for wisdom, and even he observed: "For with much wisdom comes much sorrw; the more knowledge, the more grief." (Ecclesiastes 1: 18) Is he saying that being wise is no better than being stupid? Absolutely not! "I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness. The wise man has eyes in his head, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realise that the same fate overtakes them both." (Ecclesiastes 2:13-14) What then should we do? Is it a case of "damned if we do, and damned if we dont"?

God's amazing counsel to us, to tell us not only how to avoid the pitfalls of embarking on futile quests that are ultimately meaningless but also to persevere in doing the right thing in the right way, is revealed in Solomon's concluding remarks: "Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

Like a mirror has 2 sides, God's counsel comes in 2 complimentary parts: to do the right thing and then to do it right.

Firstly, before we seek something, we should consider first to search deep within our hearts (our conscience) whether what we are seeking is right. Be wary of advice that urge us to "just do it" like what the famous Nike advertisement advocates, or to do something "so long as it makes you happy" - these people do not have to take responsibility for our decisions, or suffer the consequences of our mistakes - we do. God is not against our quest for greater wealth, wisdom, progress, pleasure or happiness - far from it in fact, as these are God's gifts to us. God only wants us to consider Him first. He knows only too well that it is satan's forte to take something good and turn it into something bad, and that we easily fall into temptation to seek gifts and forget all about the giver. That is when our quests become meaningless, a "chasing after the wind", and God allows this to make us realise our own foolishness.

Secondly, when we have chosen to follow God, do so in faith. We only need do our small parts to seek Him wholeheartedly with whatever gifts that we have been given - even this is difficult enough for most of us, because of temptations that have the potential to lead us astray. We do not need to worry about things that are beyond our control; we cannot afford to anyway! For instance, we do not need to worry why the righteous are maligned and why the unjust go unpunished. Neither should we lament that the innocent are suffering while the guilty are prospering. In other words, we should just accept what we cannot change, and trust God to do the rest.

The 2 points above is summed up in Jesus' own words: that seeking God's will is the right thing (if not the only thing) to do: "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33), and we should do it right (with the right attitude/ approach): "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34).

My friends reading this Blog, I wish you well in 2006. Do the right thing, and do it right, and you will be well. :-)